Beavis and Butt-Head Pick Up Lines
Uh, hey baby.
Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said "come."
You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let's like get into each other's life or whatever.
Uh, like let's drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, do it.
Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.
What's your sign? Is it "Yield"? Huh huh huh huh..
Would you like carry my books for me?.
If I said you were sexy, would you hold your body against me?.
My lips are registered weapons.
I'm not trying to pick you up. You're like too heavy. Huh huh huh huh. Get it?
If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public..
If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree..
If you're really hot, I bet I can cool you down..
Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? 'Cause that's what I'm looking for..
Should I call you for breakfast or will you like cook it for me?.
You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it..
Uh,...what?
I would like, do homework or something, for your love.
Hey baby, you have braces? uh huh huh huh I have braces too.
Bad Pick Up Lines
Bad Pick Up Lines
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
Grab yer bag Doll...you've just pulled...
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight.
If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.
There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're name.
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!
You're like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfast.
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
Grab yer bag Doll...you've just pulled...
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight.
If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.
There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're name.
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!
You're like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfast.
Labels:
Bad Pick Up Lines
Sweet Pick Up Lines
Sweet Pick Up Lines
Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.
Of course there's lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd love to catch and mount back at my place.
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
How was Heaven when you left it?
You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
Honey, you give new meaning to the definition of 'edible'.
I think I can die happy now, coz I've just seen a piece of heaven.
You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.
You should be someone's wife.
Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.
You've made me so nervous that I've totally forgotten forgotten my standard pick-up line.
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
Is your name Gillette? ...coz you're the best a man can get.
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.
Of course there's lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd love to catch and mount back at my place.
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
How was Heaven when you left it?
You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
Honey, you give new meaning to the definition of 'edible'.
I think I can die happy now, coz I've just seen a piece of heaven.
You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.
You should be someone's wife.
Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.
You've made me so nervous that I've totally forgotten forgotten my standard pick-up line.
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
Is your name Gillette? ...coz you're the best a man can get.
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
Labels:
Sweet Pick Up Lines
Corny Pick Up Lines
Corny Pick Up Lines
Do you have a band-Aid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.
Do you have a map? Cuz Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.
Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?
Girl, you gotta be tired cuz you been runnin' through my mind all day.
Help, something's wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you.
Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!
Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
Was you Father an Alien? Cuz honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!
You're eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea.
You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
Do you have a band-Aid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.
Do you have a map? Cuz Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.
Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?
Girl, you gotta be tired cuz you been runnin' through my mind all day.
Help, something's wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you.
Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!
Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
Was you Father an Alien? Cuz honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!
You're eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea.
You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
Labels:
Corny Pick Up Lines
Plain Lame Pick Up Lines
Plain Lame Pick Up Lines
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MAN friend, come and talk to me.
Do you want to see something swell?
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
Pardon me, are you in heat?!
Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
So, you're a girl huh?
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats five.
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
You make my software turn to hardware!
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well: "Hey, wanna hook up sometime?"
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere?
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
Which one of the Spice girls are you?
Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size.
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
Damn, have you been eating beans and rice lately?
I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?
Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand.
For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
Don't worry about the missing teeth. It just means that there is more room for your tongue.
Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show!
You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.
Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!
Good day for weather.
You know what you and corn have in common? (No) Absolutely nothing! (laugh hysterically at yourself.)
I wet my pants... can I get in yours?
Are you Natasha, my contact?
You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride the me.
You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."
OK, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest little way of getting on and off.
Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?"
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, shit, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with you? (nudge with elbow)
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!
Excuse me. Do you put on a foundation before you put on a powder? (Yeah.) Can I have your phone number?
I think you and I should dipthong.
Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement...
Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can figure out how to send that money, and walk away.
Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.
Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.
Can I try a few pick up lines on you? [give some good ones and some lame ones] OK, I have just one more line for you: Can I try a few pick up lines on you?
(Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "threesome" written on your forehead?
My name is Justin. Justincredible.
Excuse me, but would you like to hold the priesthood?
Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress!
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MAN friend, come and talk to me.
Do you want to see something swell?
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
Pardon me, are you in heat?!
Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
So, you're a girl huh?
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats five.
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
You make my software turn to hardware!
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well: "Hey, wanna hook up sometime?"
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere?
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
Which one of the Spice girls are you?
Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size.
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
Damn, have you been eating beans and rice lately?
I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?
Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand.
For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
Don't worry about the missing teeth. It just means that there is more room for your tongue.
Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show!
You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.
Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!
Good day for weather.
You know what you and corn have in common? (No) Absolutely nothing! (laugh hysterically at yourself.)
I wet my pants... can I get in yours?
Are you Natasha, my contact?
You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride the me.
You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."
OK, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest little way of getting on and off.
Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?"
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, shit, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with you? (nudge with elbow)
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!
Excuse me. Do you put on a foundation before you put on a powder? (Yeah.) Can I have your phone number?
I think you and I should dipthong.
Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement...
Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can figure out how to send that money, and walk away.
Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.
Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.
Can I try a few pick up lines on you? [give some good ones and some lame ones] OK, I have just one more line for you: Can I try a few pick up lines on you?
(Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "threesome" written on your forehead?
My name is Justin. Justincredible.
Excuse me, but would you like to hold the priesthood?
Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress!
Labels:
Plain Lame Pick Up Lines
Innuendo Pick Up Lines
Innuendo Pick Up Lines
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
A women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... you shouldn't go home without me!
Can I flirt with you?
Can I please be your slave tonight?
Can I see your tan lines?
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
Do you spit or swallow?
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
Hi. Are you legal?
Hi. You'll do.
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
I had a friend who used to hand out phone cards that said: "Smile if you want to sleep with me." And watch them try to hold back their laughter.
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I wonder what our children will look like.
I would kill or die to make love with you.
I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
I'd look good on you.
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?
I've got a condom with your name on it.
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
Lie down. I think I love you.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
That dress looks great on you... as a matter of fact, so would I.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
What do you like for breakfast?
When she asks, for a match. How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
Will you marry me for just one night?
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow.
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
You smell wet. Let's Party.
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
Hey baby...mind if I take my pants off?
I love you, you know.
Hey, kitten. How about spending some of your nine lives with me?
If I let you suck on my tongue would you be grateful?
Have you ever played "Spank the brunette"? Want to try?
Are those lumber jack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
Do you like whales? Well I have a hump-back at my place.
Girl, yo' so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a hole filed of you!
You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
Is your last name Gillette, it must be because you are the best a man can get.
I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.
Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
Hi. Can I domesticate you?
Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.
Your belt looks extremely tight. Let me loosen it for you.
Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
"Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" Woman: "What's that?" You: "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight."
I've been a bad boy/ girl,so spank me!
Say Baby do you mind if I hangout on your stomach for a half an hour or so?
I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
Excuse me, do you have any Benedryl? No why? Because every time I look at you I have swelling "down there"
Nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?
Let's let only latex stand between our love.
(Walk up to a girl and lick two fingers and place them near her crotch. Then place the fingers back in your mouth and say . . . ) I know you!
So baby, do you see why the girls call me tri-pod?
Um...I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
Do you like chips? Because if you are "Frito Lay" than I am a barrel of fun!
I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
Come over here and get a taste of America's Most Wanted.
Hi. My name is Laura. I'll be your play toy tonight.
Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6 inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?
You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?
How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?
Hey babe- pretend my pants is France and invade them.
Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!
Hey baby, I'd like to herd by cattle in your fertile valley.
Hi. I'm a dog and I need to bury my bone.
Lets skip all the bull-shit lose our inhibitions and DO what we really came here to do.
You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
Hi, sorry I don't have an opening line but since you have an opening and I have a line. . .
What'll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
Do you wanna box? [Yes.] Well, get on your hands and knees and give me two blows to the head.
Pick a number between 1 and 10. Shit you lose now take off your clothes.
Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name. (switch if female asking a male)
If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
(wiping your face), Oh I'm sorry, (wiping your face), let me clear a place for you to sit!
Hey I see your wearing clothes, I'm wearing clothes, you know we have something in common we should get together and do something sometime.
Is your boyfriend/girlfriend here? Is s/he on the roof? (No.) Then let's go to the roof!
Wanna play "kite"? I lay down, you blow and we'll see how high you can make me.
My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling. . .
I'm easy, but it looks like you are hard.
Do you have room in your life for another friend?
Nice pants, can I test the zipper?
Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I'm here after.
If I were to borrow your glasses, could I see you home?
Could you tell me where they keep the rutabagas? Oh, thanks. Oh, by the way, what is a rutabaga?
I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
I wanna take out your pencil and stick it in my pencil case.
I wanna take out your golf clubs and score a HOLE in 1.
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until the afternoon.
Hi. I'm horny.
Excuse me, but you've got a Wild Blocost on your shoulder! (What's a Wild Blocost?) How much do ya got?
You know, I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
You look like my type: nice hair, beautiful eyes, amazing body, but there is still just one problem: your clothing. (What's wrong with my clothing?) They're still on.
(Look down at the crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
Hi. I'm like a tropical island: hot, wet, and waiting for tourists.
Are you cold? Let me be your electric blacket. Just plug me in and I'll make you feel nice and toasty inside and out.
(Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?
Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
Champaine can be tickly, and so can I.
You know how your hair would look really good? [No.] In my lap.
If I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?
Do you remember me from the other night? Probably not, because we really hit it off.
Do you believe in Santa Claus? Do you think that if I am good this year, he'll put you in my stocking this year?
You know what they say about guys with big hands. [What] Big latex.
How can I love you if you won't lay down?
[What are you doing?] I'm taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.
If I were the king, and you were the queen, in the cosmic game of chess, would you mate with me?
My cat has lovely fur. Can I see yours?
Do you like anyone else in here? Well, I guess you are stuck with me.
Excuse me miss... Do you have a cigarette? Actually, I don't want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.
You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.
What do you think of Bill Clinton? (Answer...) Yeah, me too, but I try not to follow that stuff regarding Bill, Hilliary, or Monica. Want a cigar?
Damn, I know you are not on four legs, but you look faster than a cheetah.
You're on my list of things to do tonight.
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now." Put ear to watch. "It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh..." Tap watch a few times. "That's the problem... my watch is an hour fast!"
Do you want to go swimming? Damn, there isn't a pool around... But my sheets are blue?
Hi, I'm the reincarnated soul of Tai-Pong, once a starved, nude Buddhist monk. All that isolation is getting to me. Want to get down on your knees and pray?
Come on. We're leaving.
The name is Reese, and you're lookin like someone that would suck on my piece.
(Holding your nuts) Do you want "2 CDs" (see these) for a dollar?
Does God know you've escaped from Heaven? Here, come with me to my place. You can stay there until he calls looking for you.
Look at my lips and your lips. They want to massage each other.
Have you ever seen Buttman's Between the Cheeks?" No, well let me demonstrate.
re you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!
What's your name? That's a beautiful name. Can I ask you one single, impulsive question? Are you in love at the present moment? I'm not the type of guy to impede on another man's happiness but if the answer is "No" I'd like to continue with my rhapsody. Has anybody ever told you that you glide? (What?) It's a very special quality, every other girl in this place merely plods along but you glide, girls who glide need guys who make them "thump." (What's thump?) You think about him, you can't eat, you can't sleep, you watch the phone waiting for it to ring. Girls who glide need guys who make them "thump," I can make you "thump." Have dinner with me.
I know I can't have your cherry, but can I get the box it came in?
If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
Hello, can I offer you eight inches of strength and sensitivity?
Are you anorexic? Oh, OK, then I'll understand if you spit.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just have me a footlong.
Do you want to see the soles of your feet in the wing mirrors in my car?
Baby, I wanna take my extention cord and stick it all the way into your electrical outlet.
You have beautiful hair. But it could be better. (How?) If it were spread over my pillow.
Wanna feed my beaver some wood?
Hello, I may have just met you but I feel like I have known you all my life and I love you, what hotel room should I reserve?
Hi, do you dissect insects for scientific research? (No, why?) I thought you might want to look inside my fly.
I'm sterile.
I'll make you shiver when I deliver.
Hello, well-formed Homo sapien specimen. Would you care to depart with me towards my domiciliary residence and observe a documentary of the ontogenesis of another Homo sapien individual just prior to fertilization?
Wanna get down with me like four flat tires?
Did I mention that I'm the only person in the Guiness Book of World's Records actually able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
If you were camping and woke up with a used condom inside you, would you tell anyone? (No) Wanna go Camping?
Let's have a party in your shoes, and then invite your pants.
I'm hungry and I'm on a liquid diet.
I can play the 1812 Overture on a touchtone phone with my tongue.
Hey. Do you have that Hawiian Disease? What? "Comeoniwannalayya".
I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let's go to my room and put our pieces together.
You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
What is long and hard, and right behind you?
You remind me of a Twinky: Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth."
If I were to send you flowers... No wait, let me rephrase: If I were to let you such on my tongue, would you be grateful?
Baby, I would do more things to you than MacGyver in a "Do-It-Yourself Shop".
I'm like Domino's Pizza: if you don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
I'm a vegetarian but I'd make an exception for your meat!
Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Puffs can guarantee a good blow. Can you?
Hey, do you exercise? Can I be your thighmaster?
I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?
Have you ever been hunting before? (No.) Well then how about you come up to my cabin with me this weekend and I can teach you how to stuff a beaver.
I hear there's a major problem with deforestation in the world today. Why don't we put together your chest and my nuts, and help save the world?
This condem (holding in hand) has your name written on it.
Save a horse, Ride a cowboy.
My vagina is a garden, want to shovel me out?
Dont you think most people who use pickup lines are dipsticks? (Yup) In that case mind if I check your oil level?
Excuse me, ma'am, but I've been over by the bar running some numbers, and I believe that through combining our genes, we could create a faster, stronger, smarter super-soldier for our country. Now, there remains only one way to actually create this super-soldier, but in this time of national emergency, we have all been called upon to exert ourselves to new heights. Therefore, not for me, but for America, the cause of freedom calls upon you to go home with me tonight.
Like the hurricane said to the coconut tree; hold on to your nuts I'm gonna give you the blow of your life.
You should join the circus.(Why?) So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
(Blow a kiss and miss on purpose) Oops, I guess I missed, wanna try again, but a little closer?
Who wants a mustache ride?
My name is Haywood. Haywood Jablome(?).
Are you a horse? (No) Can I ride you anyway?
Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
You know, I do sleep well with others...
Hi, my name is Laura. I don't have a gag reflex.
Can I add a branch to your family tree?
Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to.
What time do you get off? Can I watch?
Been to India? I'll get (it) India.
I'm on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me? See,I'm trying to find someone. (Who?) Any girl/guy who'll sleep with me.
I have a job for you.... but it blows...
You should stop drinking! (Why?) Because you are driving me home.
Are you a god? (Um, no.) You're not? Then why do I want to kneel before you?
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Are your knees dirty? I don't want to get my floor dirty.
I just got this tan in Hawai'i. Why don't you call me when you want some of this tan to rub off on you.
OH GOD! OH GOD! Just practicing.
Trust me. It will only seem kinky the first time.
You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?
In another life I think we dated and I dumped you. But I'm thinking that that was a mistake, and now is your second chance!
Soccer players can go for 90 minutes and know 11 different positions. Just thought you should know that.
I'd love you like a snowstorm: I'd give you 8 to 10 inches and you wouldn't be able to leave the house for 3 days.
Hi, my name is Joe Bloggs (any name!) Have you heard of me? No? Well let me take you home and fill you in.
So, tell me about yourself, your dreams, your ambitions, your phone number.
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
A women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... you shouldn't go home without me!
Can I flirt with you?
Can I please be your slave tonight?
Can I see your tan lines?
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
Do you spit or swallow?
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
Hi. Are you legal?
Hi. You'll do.
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
I had a friend who used to hand out phone cards that said: "Smile if you want to sleep with me." And watch them try to hold back their laughter.
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I wonder what our children will look like.
I would kill or die to make love with you.
I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
I'd look good on you.
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?
I've got a condom with your name on it.
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
Lie down. I think I love you.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
That dress looks great on you... as a matter of fact, so would I.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
What do you like for breakfast?
When she asks, for a match. How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
Will you marry me for just one night?
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow.
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
You smell wet. Let's Party.
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
Hey baby...mind if I take my pants off?
I love you, you know.
Hey, kitten. How about spending some of your nine lives with me?
If I let you suck on my tongue would you be grateful?
Have you ever played "Spank the brunette"? Want to try?
Are those lumber jack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
Do you like whales? Well I have a hump-back at my place.
Girl, yo' so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a hole filed of you!
You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
Is your last name Gillette, it must be because you are the best a man can get.
I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.
Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
Hi. Can I domesticate you?
Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.
Your belt looks extremely tight. Let me loosen it for you.
Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
"Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" Woman: "What's that?" You: "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight."
I've been a bad boy/ girl,so spank me!
Say Baby do you mind if I hangout on your stomach for a half an hour or so?
I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
Excuse me, do you have any Benedryl? No why? Because every time I look at you I have swelling "down there"
Nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?
Let's let only latex stand between our love.
(Walk up to a girl and lick two fingers and place them near her crotch. Then place the fingers back in your mouth and say . . . ) I know you!
So baby, do you see why the girls call me tri-pod?
Um...I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
Do you like chips? Because if you are "Frito Lay" than I am a barrel of fun!
I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
Come over here and get a taste of America's Most Wanted.
Hi. My name is Laura. I'll be your play toy tonight.
Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6 inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?
You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?
How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?
Hey babe- pretend my pants is France and invade them.
Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!
Hey baby, I'd like to herd by cattle in your fertile valley.
Hi. I'm a dog and I need to bury my bone.
Lets skip all the bull-shit lose our inhibitions and DO what we really came here to do.
You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
Hi, sorry I don't have an opening line but since you have an opening and I have a line. . .
What'll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
Do you wanna box? [Yes.] Well, get on your hands and knees and give me two blows to the head.
Pick a number between 1 and 10. Shit you lose now take off your clothes.
Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name. (switch if female asking a male)
If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
(wiping your face), Oh I'm sorry, (wiping your face), let me clear a place for you to sit!
Hey I see your wearing clothes, I'm wearing clothes, you know we have something in common we should get together and do something sometime.
Is your boyfriend/girlfriend here? Is s/he on the roof? (No.) Then let's go to the roof!
Wanna play "kite"? I lay down, you blow and we'll see how high you can make me.
My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling. . .
I'm easy, but it looks like you are hard.
Do you have room in your life for another friend?
Nice pants, can I test the zipper?
Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I'm here after.
If I were to borrow your glasses, could I see you home?
Could you tell me where they keep the rutabagas? Oh, thanks. Oh, by the way, what is a rutabaga?
I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
I wanna take out your pencil and stick it in my pencil case.
I wanna take out your golf clubs and score a HOLE in 1.
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until the afternoon.
Hi. I'm horny.
Excuse me, but you've got a Wild Blocost on your shoulder! (What's a Wild Blocost?) How much do ya got?
You know, I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
You look like my type: nice hair, beautiful eyes, amazing body, but there is still just one problem: your clothing. (What's wrong with my clothing?) They're still on.
(Look down at the crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
Hi. I'm like a tropical island: hot, wet, and waiting for tourists.
Are you cold? Let me be your electric blacket. Just plug me in and I'll make you feel nice and toasty inside and out.
(Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?
Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
Champaine can be tickly, and so can I.
You know how your hair would look really good? [No.] In my lap.
If I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?
Do you remember me from the other night? Probably not, because we really hit it off.
Do you believe in Santa Claus? Do you think that if I am good this year, he'll put you in my stocking this year?
You know what they say about guys with big hands. [What] Big latex.
How can I love you if you won't lay down?
[What are you doing?] I'm taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.
If I were the king, and you were the queen, in the cosmic game of chess, would you mate with me?
My cat has lovely fur. Can I see yours?
Do you like anyone else in here? Well, I guess you are stuck with me.
Excuse me miss... Do you have a cigarette? Actually, I don't want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.
You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.
What do you think of Bill Clinton? (Answer...) Yeah, me too, but I try not to follow that stuff regarding Bill, Hilliary, or Monica. Want a cigar?
Damn, I know you are not on four legs, but you look faster than a cheetah.
You're on my list of things to do tonight.
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now." Put ear to watch. "It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh..." Tap watch a few times. "That's the problem... my watch is an hour fast!"
Do you want to go swimming? Damn, there isn't a pool around... But my sheets are blue?
Hi, I'm the reincarnated soul of Tai-Pong, once a starved, nude Buddhist monk. All that isolation is getting to me. Want to get down on your knees and pray?
Come on. We're leaving.
The name is Reese, and you're lookin like someone that would suck on my piece.
(Holding your nuts) Do you want "2 CDs" (see these) for a dollar?
Does God know you've escaped from Heaven? Here, come with me to my place. You can stay there until he calls looking for you.
Look at my lips and your lips. They want to massage each other.
Have you ever seen Buttman's Between the Cheeks?" No, well let me demonstrate.
re you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!
What's your name? That's a beautiful name. Can I ask you one single, impulsive question? Are you in love at the present moment? I'm not the type of guy to impede on another man's happiness but if the answer is "No" I'd like to continue with my rhapsody. Has anybody ever told you that you glide? (What?) It's a very special quality, every other girl in this place merely plods along but you glide, girls who glide need guys who make them "thump." (What's thump?) You think about him, you can't eat, you can't sleep, you watch the phone waiting for it to ring. Girls who glide need guys who make them "thump," I can make you "thump." Have dinner with me.
I know I can't have your cherry, but can I get the box it came in?
If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
Hello, can I offer you eight inches of strength and sensitivity?
Are you anorexic? Oh, OK, then I'll understand if you spit.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just have me a footlong.
Do you want to see the soles of your feet in the wing mirrors in my car?
Baby, I wanna take my extention cord and stick it all the way into your electrical outlet.
You have beautiful hair. But it could be better. (How?) If it were spread over my pillow.
Wanna feed my beaver some wood?
Hello, I may have just met you but I feel like I have known you all my life and I love you, what hotel room should I reserve?
Hi, do you dissect insects for scientific research? (No, why?) I thought you might want to look inside my fly.
I'm sterile.
I'll make you shiver when I deliver.
Hello, well-formed Homo sapien specimen. Would you care to depart with me towards my domiciliary residence and observe a documentary of the ontogenesis of another Homo sapien individual just prior to fertilization?
Wanna get down with me like four flat tires?
Did I mention that I'm the only person in the Guiness Book of World's Records actually able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
If you were camping and woke up with a used condom inside you, would you tell anyone? (No) Wanna go Camping?
Let's have a party in your shoes, and then invite your pants.
I'm hungry and I'm on a liquid diet.
I can play the 1812 Overture on a touchtone phone with my tongue.
Hey. Do you have that Hawiian Disease? What? "Comeoniwannalayya".
I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let's go to my room and put our pieces together.
You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
What is long and hard, and right behind you?
You remind me of a Twinky: Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth."
If I were to send you flowers... No wait, let me rephrase: If I were to let you such on my tongue, would you be grateful?
Baby, I would do more things to you than MacGyver in a "Do-It-Yourself Shop".
I'm like Domino's Pizza: if you don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
I'm a vegetarian but I'd make an exception for your meat!
Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Puffs can guarantee a good blow. Can you?
Hey, do you exercise? Can I be your thighmaster?
I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?
Have you ever been hunting before? (No.) Well then how about you come up to my cabin with me this weekend and I can teach you how to stuff a beaver.
I hear there's a major problem with deforestation in the world today. Why don't we put together your chest and my nuts, and help save the world?
This condem (holding in hand) has your name written on it.
Save a horse, Ride a cowboy.
My vagina is a garden, want to shovel me out?
Dont you think most people who use pickup lines are dipsticks? (Yup) In that case mind if I check your oil level?
Excuse me, ma'am, but I've been over by the bar running some numbers, and I believe that through combining our genes, we could create a faster, stronger, smarter super-soldier for our country. Now, there remains only one way to actually create this super-soldier, but in this time of national emergency, we have all been called upon to exert ourselves to new heights. Therefore, not for me, but for America, the cause of freedom calls upon you to go home with me tonight.
Like the hurricane said to the coconut tree; hold on to your nuts I'm gonna give you the blow of your life.
You should join the circus.(Why?) So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
(Blow a kiss and miss on purpose) Oops, I guess I missed, wanna try again, but a little closer?
Who wants a mustache ride?
My name is Haywood. Haywood Jablome(?).
Are you a horse? (No) Can I ride you anyway?
Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
You know, I do sleep well with others...
Hi, my name is Laura. I don't have a gag reflex.
Can I add a branch to your family tree?
Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to.
What time do you get off? Can I watch?
Been to India? I'll get (it) India.
I'm on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me? See,I'm trying to find someone. (Who?) Any girl/guy who'll sleep with me.
I have a job for you.... but it blows...
You should stop drinking! (Why?) Because you are driving me home.
Are you a god? (Um, no.) You're not? Then why do I want to kneel before you?
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Are your knees dirty? I don't want to get my floor dirty.
I just got this tan in Hawai'i. Why don't you call me when you want some of this tan to rub off on you.
OH GOD! OH GOD! Just practicing.
Trust me. It will only seem kinky the first time.
You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?
In another life I think we dated and I dumped you. But I'm thinking that that was a mistake, and now is your second chance!
Soccer players can go for 90 minutes and know 11 different positions. Just thought you should know that.
I'd love you like a snowstorm: I'd give you 8 to 10 inches and you wouldn't be able to leave the house for 3 days.
Hi, my name is Joe Bloggs (any name!) Have you heard of me? No? Well let me take you home and fill you in.
So, tell me about yourself, your dreams, your ambitions, your phone number.
Labels:
Innuendo Pick Up Lines
Romantic Pick Up Lines
Romantic Pick Up Lines
Part of the charm of romantic movies of the 1930s and 40s were some very famous pick-up lines such as “I’d like to run barefoot through your hair,” in “Bombshell” with Jean Harlow and Franchot Tone. These lines were often said with a wink, a lift of a brow or a sexy whisper, but their intent made the impact of an arrow and we love them.
1) Casablanca
“Was that cannon fire, or is it my heart pounding?” Ilsa in “Casablanca” with Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart. Warner Bros. 1942, directed by Michael Curtiz.
2) The Public Enemy
“You’re a swell dish. I think I’m gonna go for you,” Tom in “Public Enemy” with James Cagney and Mae Clarke. Warner Bros. 1931, directed by William Wellman.
3) A Guy Named Joe
“Everything wrong with you I like,” Captain Randall in “A Guy Named Joe” with Van Johnson and Irene Dunne. MGM 1944, directed by Victor Fleming.
4) China Seas
“If you aren’t decent, boyfriend, you’ll do until something decent comes along.” Dolly in “China Seas” with Jean Harlow and Clark Gable. MGM 1935, directed by Tay Garnett.
5) The Man Who Came to Dinner
“I guess you are sort of attractive, in a corn-fed sort of way. You can’t find yourself a poor girl falling for you if – well, if you threw in a set of dishes,” Maggie in “The Man Who Came To Dinner” with Bette Davis and Richard Travis. Warner Bros. 1942, directed by William Keighley.
6) Across the Pacific
“We’re going to know each other eventually, why not now?” Rick in “Across the Pacific” with Humphrey Bogart and Mary Astor. Warner Bros. 1942, directed by John Huston and Vincent Sherman.
7) Casablanca
“Here’s looking at you kid,” Rick in “Casablanca” with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman. Warner Bros. 1942, directed by Michael Curtiz.
8) Red Dust
“Mind if I get drunk with you?” Vantine in “Red Dust” with Jean Harlow and Clark Gable. MGM 1932, directed by Victor Fleming.
9) Johnny Eager
“Oh, now don’t turn ordinary on me, I get tired of ordinary dames. And I don’t want to get tired of you,” Johnny in “Johnny Eager” with Robert Taylor and Lana Turner. MGM. 1943, directed by Mervyn Leroy
10) The Public Enemy
“I'm not accustomed to riding with strangers,” Gwen. "We're not gonna be strangers," Tom in “Public Enemy” with Jean Harlow and James Cagney. Warner Bros. 1931, directed by William Wellman.
Part of the charm of romantic movies of the 1930s and 40s were some very famous pick-up lines such as “I’d like to run barefoot through your hair,” in “Bombshell” with Jean Harlow and Franchot Tone. These lines were often said with a wink, a lift of a brow or a sexy whisper, but their intent made the impact of an arrow and we love them.
1) Casablanca
“Was that cannon fire, or is it my heart pounding?” Ilsa in “Casablanca” with Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart. Warner Bros. 1942, directed by Michael Curtiz.
2) The Public Enemy
“You’re a swell dish. I think I’m gonna go for you,” Tom in “Public Enemy” with James Cagney and Mae Clarke. Warner Bros. 1931, directed by William Wellman.
3) A Guy Named Joe
“Everything wrong with you I like,” Captain Randall in “A Guy Named Joe” with Van Johnson and Irene Dunne. MGM 1944, directed by Victor Fleming.
4) China Seas
“If you aren’t decent, boyfriend, you’ll do until something decent comes along.” Dolly in “China Seas” with Jean Harlow and Clark Gable. MGM 1935, directed by Tay Garnett.
5) The Man Who Came to Dinner
“I guess you are sort of attractive, in a corn-fed sort of way. You can’t find yourself a poor girl falling for you if – well, if you threw in a set of dishes,” Maggie in “The Man Who Came To Dinner” with Bette Davis and Richard Travis. Warner Bros. 1942, directed by William Keighley.
6) Across the Pacific
“We’re going to know each other eventually, why not now?” Rick in “Across the Pacific” with Humphrey Bogart and Mary Astor. Warner Bros. 1942, directed by John Huston and Vincent Sherman.
7) Casablanca
“Here’s looking at you kid,” Rick in “Casablanca” with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman. Warner Bros. 1942, directed by Michael Curtiz.
8) Red Dust
“Mind if I get drunk with you?” Vantine in “Red Dust” with Jean Harlow and Clark Gable. MGM 1932, directed by Victor Fleming.
9) Johnny Eager
“Oh, now don’t turn ordinary on me, I get tired of ordinary dames. And I don’t want to get tired of you,” Johnny in “Johnny Eager” with Robert Taylor and Lana Turner. MGM. 1943, directed by Mervyn Leroy
10) The Public Enemy
“I'm not accustomed to riding with strangers,” Gwen. "We're not gonna be strangers," Tom in “Public Enemy” with Jean Harlow and James Cagney. Warner Bros. 1931, directed by William Wellman.
Labels:
romantic pick up lines
Pirate Pick Up Lines
Pirate Pick Up Lines
I must be huntin' treasure, 'cause I'm diggin' yer chest.
You're just the tasty wench I've been keeping me eye out for!
Hey, sexy -- how about a Jolly Rogering?
Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber.
See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby.
WOW! I bet we could fit SIXteen men on that chest!
Me skull and crossbones arn't the only thing I plan on raisin' tonight.
Do ya' mind if the parrot watches?
Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin'?
Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded.
So you're the new cabin boy, eh?
Do you have the latest copy of Windows XP with cracked product activation? (software pirates only)
Yo, ho! Bottle of rum?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you free on Saturday?
Is there an 'X' on the seat of your pants? Because it appears that there's wond'rous booty buried underneath!
I must be huntin' treasure, 'cause I'm diggin' yer chest.
You're just the tasty wench I've been keeping me eye out for!
Hey, sexy -- how about a Jolly Rogering?
Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber.
See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby.
WOW! I bet we could fit SIXteen men on that chest!
Me skull and crossbones arn't the only thing I plan on raisin' tonight.
Do ya' mind if the parrot watches?
Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin'?
Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded.
So you're the new cabin boy, eh?
Do you have the latest copy of Windows XP with cracked product activation? (software pirates only)
Yo, ho! Bottle of rum?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you free on Saturday?
Is there an 'X' on the seat of your pants? Because it appears that there's wond'rous booty buried underneath!
Labels:
Pirate Pick Up Lines
Christian Pick Up Lines
Christian Pick Up Lines
Nice bible.
I would like to pray with you.
You know Jesus? Hey, me too!
God told me to come talk to you.
I know a church where we could go and talk.
How about a hug, sister/brother?
Do you need help carrying your bible? It looks heavy.
Christians don't shake hands; Christians gotta hug!
Oh you are cold, Ecclesiastes 4:11.
Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
What are your plans for tonight? Feel like a bible study?
I am here for you.
The word says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry"; how about dinner?
You don't have an accountability partner? Me neither.
You want to come over and watch the 10 commandments tonight?
Is it a sin that you stole my heart?
Would you happen to know a Christian man/woman that I could love with all my heart and wait on hand and foot?
Nice braclet. What would Jesus date? I mean "do".
Do you believe in Divine appointment?
Have you ever tried praying at a drive in movie before?
(For the ladies) Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.
My friend told me to come and meet you, he said that you are a really nice person. I think you know him. Jesus, yeah, that's his name.
You know they say that you have never really dated, until you have dated a christian.
Yeah, I predicted David over Goliath.
What? Friends listen to Amazing Grace in the dark.
Nice bible.
I would like to pray with you.
You know Jesus? Hey, me too!
God told me to come talk to you.
I know a church where we could go and talk.
How about a hug, sister/brother?
Do you need help carrying your bible? It looks heavy.
Christians don't shake hands; Christians gotta hug!
Oh you are cold, Ecclesiastes 4:11.
Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
What are your plans for tonight? Feel like a bible study?
I am here for you.
The word says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry"; how about dinner?
You don't have an accountability partner? Me neither.
You want to come over and watch the 10 commandments tonight?
Is it a sin that you stole my heart?
Would you happen to know a Christian man/woman that I could love with all my heart and wait on hand and foot?
Nice braclet. What would Jesus date? I mean "do".
Do you believe in Divine appointment?
Have you ever tried praying at a drive in movie before?
(For the ladies) Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.
My friend told me to come and meet you, he said that you are a really nice person. I think you know him. Jesus, yeah, that's his name.
You know they say that you have never really dated, until you have dated a christian.
Yeah, I predicted David over Goliath.
What? Friends listen to Amazing Grace in the dark.
Labels:
Christian Pick Up Lines
Worst Pick Up Lines
Worst Pick Up Lines
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
You have the face of a saint -- a Saint Bernard.
You'll do.
Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Man - Excuse me, want to dance?
Woman - No.
Man - Maybe you didn't hear me ... I said you look really fat in those pants!
I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey.
Do you work for UPS? 'Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package!
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
Man - Fat Penguin !
Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
Man - Do you like to dance?
Woman - Yes !
Man - Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
You have the face of a saint -- a Saint Bernard.
You'll do.
Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Man - Excuse me, want to dance?
Woman - No.
Man - Maybe you didn't hear me ... I said you look really fat in those pants!
I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey.
Do you work for UPS? 'Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package!
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
Man - Fat Penguin !
Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
Man - Do you like to dance?
Woman - Yes !
Man - Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
Labels:
Worst Pick Up Lines
Mario Pick Up Lines
Mario Pick Up Lines
"Are you a magic feather? Because my heart just grew a tail, and flew away."
"If you were a warp tube, I'd be in you all day."
"Are you a magic mushroom? Because you are making me grow."
"Are you a magic flower? Because you are burning me up."
"I'd rather ride you than Yoshi any day."
"If Princess Toad looked liked you, I would have killed Bowser years ago."
"If I had the choice, I would gladly spend my 100 coins on you instead of on an extra life."
"You don't have to turn on a game to play with me."
"They don't call me Super for nothing."
"Are you a magic feather? Because my heart just grew a tail, and flew away."
"If you were a warp tube, I'd be in you all day."
"Are you a magic mushroom? Because you are making me grow."
"Are you a magic flower? Because you are burning me up."
"I'd rather ride you than Yoshi any day."
"If Princess Toad looked liked you, I would have killed Bowser years ago."
"If I had the choice, I would gladly spend my 100 coins on you instead of on an extra life."
"You don't have to turn on a game to play with me."
"They don't call me Super for nothing."
Labels:
Mario Pick Up Lines
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