Pick up Lines
What?: What do these mean?
(leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.
0
0
Are we related? Do you want to be?
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0
Can you say Constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.
0
0
Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee. (laugh profusely)
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0
Do you know how to use a whip?
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0
Drop 'em!
0
0
Excuse me, do you live around here often?
0
0
Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
0
0
Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
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0
Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?
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0
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
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0
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
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0
I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...
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0
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
0
0
I'm drunk.
0
0
I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
0
0
I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
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0
If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.
0
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
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0
Like the look of your crotch.
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0
Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
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0
Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.
0
0
Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
0
0
Say, did we go to different schools together?
0
0
That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh.
0
0
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??
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0
Why you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across!
0
0
Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
0
0
Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
0
0
Would you like to see me naked ??
0
0
Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself?
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0
You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?
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0
You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
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0
You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
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0
You know what I like about you? My arms.
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0
You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.
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You know, my mother says you have the smoothest complexion of anyone she knows.
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You look just like my mother.
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You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
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0
You remind me of a girl I used to date.
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0
You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.
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0
You're 'No Parking' right? Just trying to guess your sign.
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0
Your name is Laura, huh? Can I call you Laura? Really, what time?
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Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Are my undies showing? Answer: "No." You: "Would you like them to?
1
0
I'd walk a million miles over broken glass just to meet the guy that fucked you last.
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If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
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0
Excuse me , she says "Uh huh", do you have any Grey Poupon? no? well we can still get the sandwich action going on baby....
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hey baby, can i feel your Ginsana? (No.) Wanna feel mine?
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Do you like clocks? (Yes.) Put two hands and a face on this. (Point down)
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Do you like chocolate? (Yes.) You can have my bar.
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Beer is the root of all evil. Give me a beer. I'm a WICKED root!
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Hey baby... you got any diseases? Want some?
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I'm an iceberg on a summer's day in South Carolina.
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Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!!!
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Pardon me, do you mind if I push in your stool?
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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would flip the M and W (double you).
1
1
If belly buttons were a status symbol, then baby you would be God.
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Have you ever seen a tree branch? [Girl] Yes. [Guy] How about a root?
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I have four words for you "Hol I Day Inn".
1
1
I am not a queen but I'll give you something royal.
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0
Is your name Brandy? Because your the best liqueur I have ever had.
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Does an elephant taking a shit make you want to fuck everything around you?
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Do you want a worm-do? (Whats a worm do?) It does this..(Move your finger like a worm~~~~~~)
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I'd call this puppy love but I'm not into all those new positions.
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Wow, your eyebrows are thick.
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I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
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I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
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Are you an Emerson? Because those are some nice tits!
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0
You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I can't stop ya.
5
3
Your hair is so soft. Do you use Paul Mitchell products?
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0
You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
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I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
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(if your name is Dan) Did you know my name backwards is "Nad"?
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Hey baby, I think you made my two by four into a four by eight.
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I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
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Have you ever heard of the naked pretzel? Ok, sit on my magical lap and we'll see what rises!
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Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
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Buy me a beer, will ya hon?
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You look like my mommy. I like my mommy.
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What the hell are you looking at?
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(go up to a table and whip it out) Charlie!! Anyone you recognize?
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Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Kablaam"?
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0
Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
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Someone vacuum my lap, I think you need a clean place to sit.
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Excuse me, but do you have the temperature?
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I want you to have my children (pause) GREAT! They are in the car outside..
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If I was hungry for crabs would you spread your legs for me?
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0
Do you have a license for that wagon you're draggin'?
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0
Were you staring at my crotch?
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Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.
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Can I impregnate you with my Demon spawn?
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You can stand next to me as long as you don't talk about the heat.
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Hey, you've got a lawyer's ass. Yip, it's firm.
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So, are you a Skinner or a fucker?
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Like Motel 6, I'll leave the light on for you.
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Can I ASS you a question?
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You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
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Bitch, you without me is like Harry Melvin without Bluenotes: You'll never go platinum.
Did that make sense?
Nope.
o you like to drink through straws?
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Hi, my name is Peter. Wanna find out why?
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Ever seen the movie "Fear"?
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What color is your shit?
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If you were the alphabet, I'd place you under "O"!
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I cannot believe what a complete slut you are.
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If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? (No.) Well, I don't, so let's go.
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Are you an oscillating fan? 'Cause your phone is ringing.
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Hey Bitches!!! Free Cociane!!
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How do you know that I'm not loving you now?
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Do you know that the Edmonton Oilers haven't won the Stanley Cup for a while now.
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Will you be my christmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.
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Your eyes remind me of diamonds, because diamonds are expensive, and so are eye replacements, and baby- you need eye replacements.
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Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
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Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
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Actually, not that bad...
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
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Would you like to shake hands with beef?
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I'm not a chef or a dancer, but I can pop cherries
A dancer?
0
I treat a bitch like seven up, I never have, I never will.
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Excuse me, but why is your moose drinking my cheese?
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How do you make a chicken run? Hold on, and I'll have my little brother show you.
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You'd make a bishop kick out a stained-glass window.
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Do you come here often or wait till you get home?
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Have you ever wondered what a vaginal blood fart smelt like?(No) Cool....me neither.
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Are you cold? (Yes) You want a jacket? (Sure) Well, not here, you can jack it when you get back to my room.
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In Venezuela only real men have big mustaches.
Works if you've got a mustache, or not!
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Baby I've got one- help me make it two!
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Here, you take my lollypop and I'll improvise...
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0
Hi my name is _____! Can I pee in your butt?
Be sure to use a fake name.
0
Hey sexy. I like shoelaces, bow-ties, and motorized wheelchairs. Wanna go back to my place and use all three?
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If you were yogurt, would you be fruit at the bottom or stirred?
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If you were the Virgin Mary, could I bless you?
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Excuse me, but I think I left your sunglasses in your pocket. Mind if I check?
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What's wrong with the chics in here? They just don't like gorgeous guys anymore...
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If I look the way you look when you walk, I'd walk everywhere I went.
WHAT!?!
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One day there was a bird. This was a magical bird that sang all day. It had many jolly frolicking happy prancing friends that sang songs of joy and happiness. Whenever they flew by the flowers they became happy too. Then everything died. Now doesn't that just turn you on?
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If you have oral-sex with your own clone,would that be called masturbation?
2
2
So....I heard you wanted to fight me.
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0
Are those shoes, cause that is a cool calender!
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0
I just shit in my pants. Can I get into yours?
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People say that masturbating will make you go blind, if that were true, not only would i be blind, but my seeing eyedog would have vision problems.
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Hi, I was just wondering? Do you wipe front-to-back or back-to-front?
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Oak tree leaves are green in the fall and your pants are red in the hall.
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Are you gay? Cause if you are, I just got castrated!
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0
Can I get you a cold banana?
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0
Ya know, if Ivanna Trump married Neil Diamond, she'd be Ivanna Diamond. And if Ivanna Trump married Chris Rock, she'd be Ivanna Rock. If Ivanna Trump Married Tom Cruise, she'd be Ivanna Cruise.
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I once knew a squirrel named Marvin. God your hot. Marvin is in Africa now.
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Excuse me, are you well protected?
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Hey baby, everything I'm going to do to you tonight I learned at SeaWorld.
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You can't be first, but you could be next.
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What's the difference between the stay puff marshmallow man and a stay-puff marshmallow? The marshmallow will fit in your vagina.
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I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.
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Tuesday is coming! Did you bring your coat?
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Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!
101
31
So, do you like turtles?
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0
Driving and my penis...they are both hard for you.
Huh!?!
0
You, Me, and a midget makes three.
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You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can't.
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Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
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I've got a big nose, big hands, and really big feet. That's right, I'm a clown.
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Wanna see a trick I learned in prison?
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You know, its girls like you that make me wish I were a lesbian.
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I wana spank you with a sack of kidney beans while you cover yourself in whip cream and let a horny duck named jeff lick it off you.
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I didn't know that Miss America used to live right here.
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You can touch mine if I can touch yours with mine.
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I%u2019d say oral sex with your clone is masturbation. Wouldn%u2019t you? Either way, if I were you, I%u2019d fuck myself. You know, I hear we are what we eat. Want to masturbate?
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0
I don't know if you know this, but I have a driver's license.
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Given that true intellectual and emotional compatibility are at the very least difficult, if not impossible, we could always opt for the more temporal gratification of physical attraction. That wouldn't make you a shallow, would it?
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You see my friend over there? Good. I thought the drugs were starting to make me hallucinate.
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I make more money than you can spend.
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Is this your house key? Could I have one?
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If you were suddenly transported to the sun because of an evil scheme devised by an evil Russian chicken and asked to take off your clothes and make love to the burning flames and then recite the presidents in alphabetical order by their middle name while juggling 11 midgets holding soda cans between your two front teeth that will be operated on by 86 evil Czechoslovakian dentists named Farkus who got their degrees studying the taste buds of Tom Selleck at a college named after some guy who wasted away his life by eating pork grinds naked in his mom's basement while searching for pictures of Kirsten Dunst to use for purposes that cannot be explained by the 1972 Junior High class of some school that no one cares about in Eastern Idaho where woodland creatures choose to spend their lives trying to recreate some bad 1940's soap opera instead of frolicking happily in the woods, would you prefer chocolate ice cream or vanilla?
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0
What color is your toothbrush?
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I what to become a STUD. You know, you can't spell stud without STD and U.
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You owe me a drink! (Why?) Why not?
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You know how they say guys are full of shit, well that may be true, but I just got my colon cleaned today.
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I'm hung like a tic tac. Freshen your breath?
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Yesterday I wanted to take I shower. I pulled back the curtain and there was a rhinoceros and a giraffe in the tub. They were eating cheese and they said "Hi."
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I have this vacuum but it seems to be be broken. Can you blow in it and see if it spits everything out?
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Your boyfriend/girlfriend tells me your great in bed.
Pick up Lines
(With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
3
0
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
23
4
Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
7
0
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
0
0
Are you O.K.? Because heaven is a long fall from here.
2
0
(As s/he is leaving) Hey aren't you forgetting something? S/he: What? Me!
3
0
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
3
0
Bond. James Bond.
41
40 (Lost. Get Lost.)
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
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0
Did it hurt? S/he: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?
3
1
Do you come here often?
0
0
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
7
1
Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we're together.
0
0
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
Once too many
0
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
1
0
Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
1
0
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
10
-10
How was heaven when you left it?
0
0
I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
20
5
I have only three months to live. ..
27
14
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
3
0
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
0
0
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
0
0
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? (No.) Well then, please start.
7
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
0
0
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
1
1
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
0
0
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
5
1
My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
0
0
So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the man/woman of my dreams!
2
0
Stand still so I can pick you up!
0
0
Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!
0
0
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
3
0
What was that sound? It was the sound of my heart breaking.
2
0
What's a nice boy/girl like you doing in a place like this?
0
0
What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle.
2
0
What's your favorite position on extramarital sex?
0
0
What's your sign?
3120
314
Where have you been all my life?
4
0
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
0
0
Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
6
0
Wow.
100
30(It's just so simple...)
You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.
7
0
You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
0
0
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.
0
0
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
3
0
[Grab the ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
0
0
Can I have directions? (To where?) To your heart.
6
0
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
4
1
[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"
30
30
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
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Ask a person for the time. "10:30? So today is June 2, 2006, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."
1
0
"Pinch me." "Why?" "You're so fine I must be dreaming."
1
0
Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
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God, I hope this number is "0".
Your daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!
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0
Your daddy must be an archer because he sure shot a bulls eye!
0
0
Your daddy must play the trumpet, because he sure made me horny!
0
0
Ouch! My tooth hurts! (Why?) Because you are soooo sweet!
0
0
You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
0
0
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
0
0
Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
0
0
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
0
0
Hi. I would like to award you the {Whatever beer we were drinking} award for looking so good. Now if you will give me your name, number and other vital statistics, I would like to enter you in our grand prize drawing for an all-expenses paid date with me.
2
1
You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
0
0
Is your dad a terrorists? Because you are the bomb.
0
0
Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
0
0
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
0
0
Say, you remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You are cool because you're hot!
1
1
If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.
0
0
Baby, you are the finest thing in the world. I could put you on a place and sop you up with a biscuit.
0
0
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
0
0
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
0
0
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
0
0
Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
0
0
You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
0
0
It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? (Is it really your birthday?) No, but how about a kiss anyway?
5
5
What is the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?"
0
0
If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
0
0
(after the target walks in) And out of nowhere comes the sunshine!!
0
0
When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
0
0
I'm good at math. U I=69
0
0
If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
0
0
Hi. Your name must be (your car here) because my backseat has it written all over.
0
0
Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage?
0
0
I'm wearing Revlon colorstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off?
0
0
Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that its a really big river, and the bunny on this side (doesn't matter) really needs to get to the other side. Ask how he does it. Give cute little answers as to why the bunny can't cross the river (i.e., ...bunny jump in river, bunny goes *glubglubglub*.) When the person finally asks how the bunny is supposed to get across, give them the cute puppy eyes and say "I don't know, I just wanted to hold your hand."
0
0
Mars? This is the advanced recon unit. Good news, I've found a couple of foxes.
0
0
Damn! Somebody needs to write explosive on you, because you are the bomb!
0
0
Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
1
1
Do you remember Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color...Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes...Blizzard Blue.
0
0
Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?
0
0
Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?
0
0
Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
0
0
Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
0
0
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
0
0
I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
0
0
(stand next to the target) Hey do you think you could ask this person to give me his/her name and number? (Depends on who it is) Okay but keep it quiet because s/he is standing right next to me.
0
0
Hi, my name is Chris. I'm funny, financially stable, and have a very interesting DNA structure.
0
0
Can I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
0
0
(Open and close wallet quickly) Here's my "Fine Arts Connoisseur" diploma. You sure are a masterpiece.
0
0
Let's make like a fabric softener and Snuggle(TM)
0
0
(while looking at stars) I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.
1
1
If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]." How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful boy/girl named that?"
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See this pin? I want to prick you with it to see if you truly do bleed sunshine.
1
1 (ouch!)
You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way
Only in the corporate world...
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[Pretend to read your hand, do so quite poorly] What is a nice person like you doing in a place like this? (Huh?) [Lower left hand and raise right, read poorly] What's your sign?
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Hi. My name is {name}. I'm running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here...write down your number and I'll call you to discuss my platform.
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If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.
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Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?
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Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you, my dear, have left one great leap on mine!
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Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
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Do you have a BandAid? I just scrapped my knee falling for you.
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I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
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What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too!
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Giant polar bear (What?) It broke the ice.
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(Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
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Excuse me, does this tequila taste funny? (Hand them an untouched shot)
2
2
So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) Because I'm gonna ask you out.
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Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? (NO!) Damn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
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(Talk to her)Did i ever tell you you are my hero? You're everything I wish I could be? (Start Singing) I can fly higher than an eagle! (talking) Because (the person's name) you are the wind beneith my wings.
3
1
(close hand with nothing inside and give it to the target) It's my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this)
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Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
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Speak of the devil....or should I say "Angel"?
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When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
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I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!
---
---
I believe that it was Socrates who opined, "Know thyself." Whelp, I already know myself, how about I get to know you?
---
---
I put a drop of tear in the ocean last night for you. And I won't stop loving you until you find that tear drop.
6
Still lookin'
Hey, where did your smile go? (Check back pocket) Here it is!
---
---
(Get as close as you can to the other, then stare at his/her lips) Can you feel it? There is some kinda sexual attraction. Can you feel it, too?
10
7
Hey baby. You got a jersey? (A jersey?...What for?) Because I need your name and number
---
---
Hi, I'm astronomer and I've been sent by the department to examine a heavenly body named XGY8... 6... 9'er... Er, wait. That heavenly body is you!
---
---
You be the biscuits and I'll be the gravy, let us do breakfast sometime.
7
4
When you walk into a room, who looks at you first, guys or girls? (Answer) After seeing pictures of you, I would have thought more guys (girls) would want to talk to you.
---
---
My lips are skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?
---
---
Please do not be alarmed if a big man wearing a red suit picks you up and throws you into a bag. (Why?) Because I asked for you for Christmas.
---
---
You must be a magnet, because it looks like you are attracted to my buns of steel.
---
---
Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?
---
---
(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
---
---
I was looking at a light bulb today and it made me think of you and how you light up my world.
---
---
You know, we have actually met before. Remember the dream you had of the perfect guy? I was the guy standing to his right.
---
---
Is your name David? I want to be Goliath and fall for you.
---
---
This time next year let%u2019s be laughing together.
---
---
Clarinets are wood and trumpets are horny, but a trombone can do it in 7 positions.
---
---
Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my ass? A damn little kid with wings shot me.
3
0
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
23
4
Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
7
0
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
0
0
Are you O.K.? Because heaven is a long fall from here.
2
0
(As s/he is leaving) Hey aren't you forgetting something? S/he: What? Me!
3
0
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
3
0
Bond. James Bond.
41
40 (Lost. Get Lost.)
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
0
0
Did it hurt? S/he: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?
3
1
Do you come here often?
0
0
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
7
1
Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we're together.
0
0
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
Once too many
0
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
1
0
Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
1
0
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
10
-10
How was heaven when you left it?
0
0
I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
20
5
I have only three months to live. ..
27
14
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
3
0
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
0
0
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
0
0
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? (No.) Well then, please start.
7
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
0
0
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
1
1
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
0
0
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
5
1
My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
0
0
So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the man/woman of my dreams!
2
0
Stand still so I can pick you up!
0
0
Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!
0
0
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
3
0
What was that sound? It was the sound of my heart breaking.
2
0
What's a nice boy/girl like you doing in a place like this?
0
0
What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle.
2
0
What's your favorite position on extramarital sex?
0
0
What's your sign?
3120
314
Where have you been all my life?
4
0
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
0
0
Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
6
0
Wow.
100
30(It's just so simple...)
You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.
7
0
You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
0
0
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.
0
0
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
3
0
[Grab the ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
0
0
Can I have directions? (To where?) To your heart.
6
0
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
4
1
[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"
30
30
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
---
---
Ask a person for the time. "10:30? So today is June 2, 2006, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."
1
0
"Pinch me." "Why?" "You're so fine I must be dreaming."
1
0
Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
---
God, I hope this number is "0".
Your daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!
---
0
Your daddy must be an archer because he sure shot a bulls eye!
0
0
Your daddy must play the trumpet, because he sure made me horny!
0
0
Ouch! My tooth hurts! (Why?) Because you are soooo sweet!
0
0
You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
0
0
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
0
0
Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
0
0
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
0
0
Hi. I would like to award you the {Whatever beer we were drinking} award for looking so good. Now if you will give me your name, number and other vital statistics, I would like to enter you in our grand prize drawing for an all-expenses paid date with me.
2
1
You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
0
0
Is your dad a terrorists? Because you are the bomb.
0
0
Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
0
0
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
0
0
Say, you remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You are cool because you're hot!
1
1
If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.
0
0
Baby, you are the finest thing in the world. I could put you on a place and sop you up with a biscuit.
0
0
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
0
0
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
0
0
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
0
0
Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
0
0
You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
0
0
It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? (Is it really your birthday?) No, but how about a kiss anyway?
5
5
What is the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?"
0
0
If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
0
0
(after the target walks in) And out of nowhere comes the sunshine!!
0
0
When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
0
0
I'm good at math. U I=69
0
0
If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
0
0
Hi. Your name must be (your car here) because my backseat has it written all over.
0
0
Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage?
0
0
I'm wearing Revlon colorstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off?
0
0
Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that its a really big river, and the bunny on this side (doesn't matter) really needs to get to the other side. Ask how he does it. Give cute little answers as to why the bunny can't cross the river (i.e., ...bunny jump in river, bunny goes *glubglubglub*.) When the person finally asks how the bunny is supposed to get across, give them the cute puppy eyes and say "I don't know, I just wanted to hold your hand."
0
0
Mars? This is the advanced recon unit. Good news, I've found a couple of foxes.
0
0
Damn! Somebody needs to write explosive on you, because you are the bomb!
0
0
Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
1
1
Do you remember Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color...Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes...Blizzard Blue.
0
0
Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?
0
0
Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?
0
0
Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
0
0
Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
0
0
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
0
0
I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
0
0
(stand next to the target) Hey do you think you could ask this person to give me his/her name and number? (Depends on who it is) Okay but keep it quiet because s/he is standing right next to me.
0
0
Hi, my name is Chris. I'm funny, financially stable, and have a very interesting DNA structure.
0
0
Can I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
0
0
(Open and close wallet quickly) Here's my "Fine Arts Connoisseur" diploma. You sure are a masterpiece.
0
0
Let's make like a fabric softener and Snuggle(TM)
0
0
(while looking at stars) I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.
1
1
If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]." How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful boy/girl named that?"
---
---
See this pin? I want to prick you with it to see if you truly do bleed sunshine.
1
1 (ouch!)
You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way
Only in the corporate world...
---
[Pretend to read your hand, do so quite poorly] What is a nice person like you doing in a place like this? (Huh?) [Lower left hand and raise right, read poorly] What's your sign?
---
---
Hi. My name is {name}. I'm running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here...write down your number and I'll call you to discuss my platform.
---
---
If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.
---
---
Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?
---
---
Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you, my dear, have left one great leap on mine!
---
---
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
---
---
Do you have a BandAid? I just scrapped my knee falling for you.
---
---
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
---
---
What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too!
---
---
Giant polar bear (What?) It broke the ice.
---
---
(Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
---
---
Excuse me, does this tequila taste funny? (Hand them an untouched shot)
2
2
So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) Because I'm gonna ask you out.
---
---
Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? (NO!) Damn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
---
---
(Talk to her)Did i ever tell you you are my hero? You're everything I wish I could be? (Start Singing) I can fly higher than an eagle! (talking) Because (the person's name) you are the wind beneith my wings.
3
1
(close hand with nothing inside and give it to the target) It's my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this)
---
---
Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
---
---
Speak of the devil....or should I say "Angel"?
---
---
When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
---
---
I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!
---
---
I believe that it was Socrates who opined, "Know thyself." Whelp, I already know myself, how about I get to know you?
---
---
I put a drop of tear in the ocean last night for you. And I won't stop loving you until you find that tear drop.
6
Still lookin'
Hey, where did your smile go? (Check back pocket) Here it is!
---
---
(Get as close as you can to the other, then stare at his/her lips) Can you feel it? There is some kinda sexual attraction. Can you feel it, too?
10
7
Hey baby. You got a jersey? (A jersey?...What for?) Because I need your name and number
---
---
Hi, I'm astronomer and I've been sent by the department to examine a heavenly body named XGY8... 6... 9'er... Er, wait. That heavenly body is you!
---
---
You be the biscuits and I'll be the gravy, let us do breakfast sometime.
7
4
When you walk into a room, who looks at you first, guys or girls? (Answer) After seeing pictures of you, I would have thought more guys (girls) would want to talk to you.
---
---
My lips are skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?
---
---
Please do not be alarmed if a big man wearing a red suit picks you up and throws you into a bag. (Why?) Because I asked for you for Christmas.
---
---
You must be a magnet, because it looks like you are attracted to my buns of steel.
---
---
Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?
---
---
(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
---
---
I was looking at a light bulb today and it made me think of you and how you light up my world.
---
---
You know, we have actually met before. Remember the dream you had of the perfect guy? I was the guy standing to his right.
---
---
Is your name David? I want to be Goliath and fall for you.
---
---
This time next year let%u2019s be laughing together.
---
---
Clarinets are wood and trumpets are horny, but a trombone can do it in 7 positions.
---
---
Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my ass? A damn little kid with wings shot me.
Labels:
pick up lines
Great Pick up Lines
Hey baby...mind if I take my pants off?
---
---
I love you, you know.
---
---
Hey, kitten. How about spending some of your nine lives with me?
0
0
If I let you suck on my tongue, would you be grateful?
5
2
Have you ever played "Spank the brunette"? Want to try?
---
0
Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
---
0
Do you like whales? Well I have a hump-back at my place.
---
0
You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a hole filed of you!
---
0
You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
---
0
Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.
---
0
I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.
---
0
Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
---
0
Hi. Can I domesticate you?
---
0
Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
---
0
Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
---
0
If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.
---
0
Your belt looks extremely tight. Let me loosen it for you.
---
0
Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
---
0
"Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" (What?) "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight."
5
3
I've been a bad boy/girl, so spank me!
---
0
Do you mind if I hangout on your stomach for a half an hour or so?
---
0
I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
---
0
Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
---
0
"So, did you here the one about the guy and the girl who had the most sexual relationship?" ("No.") "Well then, let's go to my place and I'll tell you all about it."
6
4
Excuse me, do you have any Benedryl? No why? Because everytime I look at you I have swelling "down there"
---
0
Let us let only latex stand between our love.
25
0
(Walk up to the target and lick two fingers and place them near her crotch. Then place the fingers back in your mouth and say . . . ) I know you!
---
0
Do you see why they call me tri-pod?
---
0
Um...I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?
---
0
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
---
0
If you had some nuts on the wall, couldn't they be called walnuts? (Yes). If you had some nuts on your chest, could they be called chestnuts? (Yes) If you had some nuts on your chin, could they be chinnuts? (Yes.) Hell no, you'd have a dick in your mouth.
---
0
Do you like chips? Because if you are "Frito Lay" than I am a barrel of fun!
---
0
I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
---
0
Come over here and get a taste of America's Most Wanted.
---
0
Hi. My name is Laura. I'll be your playtoy tonight.
---
0
Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6-inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?
---
0
You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
---
0
Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?
---
0
How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?
---
0
Let us pretend my pants are France and invade them.
---
0
Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!
---
0
I would like to herd my cattle in your fertile valley.
---
0
Hi. I'm a dog and I need to bury my bone.
14
0
Lets skip all the bullshit, lose our inhibitions, and DO what we really came here to do.
---
0
You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
---
0
Do you live on a chicken farm? (No.) You sure know how to raise cocks
---
0
Excuse me, but you have a "dick for" on your head. (What's a "dick for"?) I'll show you.
---
0
Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
---
0
Hi, sorry I don't have an opening line but since you have an opening and I have a line. . .
---
0
How about we make like Winnie-the-poo and I get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
---
0
Do you wanna box? (Yes.) Well, get on your hands and knees and give me two blows to the head.
---
0
Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose. Take off your clothes.
---
0
Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
---
0
What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name. (Editor's note [if you couldn't figure it out]: switch if a girl is picking up a boy)
---
0
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
---
0
If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
---
0
(wiping your face), Oh I'm sorry, (wiping your face), let me clear a place for you to sit!
---
0
Hey I see you are wearing clothes. I'm wearing clothes. Did you know we have something in common? We should get together and do something sometime.
---
0
Is your boyfriend/girlfriend here? Is s/he on the roof? (No.) Then let's go to the roof!
---
0
Wanna play "kite"? I lay down, you blow and we'll see how high you can make me.
---
0
My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling. . .
---
0
I'm easy, but it looks like you are hard.
---
0
Do you have room in your life for another friend?
---
0
Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?
---
0
Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
---
0
Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
---
0
Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I'm here after.
---
0
If I were to borrow your glasses, could I see you home?
---
0
Could you tell me where they keep the rutabagas? Oh, thanks. Oh, by the way, what is a rutabaga?
---
0
I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
---
0
I wanna take out your pencil and stick it in my pencil case.
---
0
I wanna take out your golf clubs and score a HOLE in 1.
---
0
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until the afternoon.
---
0
Hi. I'm horny.
---
0
Excuse me, but you've got a Wild Blocost on your shoulder! (What's a Wild Blocost?) How much do ya got?
---
0
You know, I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
---
0
You look like my type: Nice hair, beautiful eyes, amazing body, but there is still just one problem: your clothing. (What's wrong with my clothing?) They're still on.
---
0
(Look down at the crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
---
0
So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
---
0
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
---
0
I have not had sex in three years. No matter what you did, kiss me all over, dance for me, or wear provocative outfits, I would not give in. Want to test me?
---
0
Hi. I'm like a tropical island: hot, wet, and waiting for tourists.
---
0
Are you cold? Let me be your electric blacket. Just plug me in and I'll make you feel nice and toasty inside and out.
---
0
(Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?
---
0
Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
---
0
Champaine can be tickly, and so can I.
5
4
You know how your hair would look really good? [No.] In my lap.
---
0
If I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?
---
0
Do you remember me from the other night? Probably not, because we really hit it off.
---
0
Do you believe in Santa Claus? Do you think that if I am good this year, he'll put you in my stocking this year?
---
0
You know what they say about guys with big hands. (What?) Big latex.
---
0
How can I love you if you won't lay down?
---
0
(What are you doing?) I'm taking off my shoes. (Why?) So I can take off my pants.
---
0
If I were the king, and you were the queen, in the cosmic game of chess, would you mate with me?
---
0
My cat has lovely fur. Can I see yours?
---
0
You know how I am with dicks? I suck at it.
---
0
Do you like anyone else in here? Well, I guess you are stuck with me.
1
1
If you were a duck and I were a moose, and we had sex, we'd make a duckmoose, and it would sound like this: [make the wierdest sound you can].
16
1
You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.
---
0
What do you think of Bill Clinton? (Answer...) Yeah, me too, but I try not to follow that stuff regarding Bill, Hilliary, or Monica. Want a cigar?
---
0
Damn, I know you are not on four legs, but you look faster than a cheetah.
---
0
You're on my list of things to do tonight.
---
0
If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
8
3
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now." Put ear to watch. "It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh..." Tap watch a few times. "That's the problem... my watch is an hour fast!"
---
0
Do you want to go swimming? Damn, there isn't a pool around... But my sheets are blue?
---
0
Hi, I'm the reincarnated soul of Tai-Pong, once a starved, naked Buddhist monk. All that isolation is getting to me. Want to get down on your knees and pray?
---
0
Come on. We're leaving.
---
0
The name is Reese, and you're lookin like someone that would suck on my piece.
---
0
(Holding your nuts) Do you want "2 CDs" (see these) for a dollar?
---
0
Does God know you've escaped from Heaven? Here, come with me to my place. You can stay there until he calls looking for you.
---
0
Look at my lips and your lips. They want to massage each other.
---
0
Have you ever seen Buttman's Between the Cheeks?" No, well let me demonstrate.
---
0
Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!
(Works great for white guys)
0
What's your name? That's a beautiful name. Can I ask you one single, impulsive question? Are you in love at the present moment? I'm not the type of person to impede on another person's happiness but if the answer is "No," I'd like to continue with my rhapsody. Has anybody ever told you that you glide? (What?) It's a very special quality, every other girl/boy in this place merely plods along but you glide, girls who glide need guys who make them "thump." (What's thump?) You think about him, you can't eat, you can't sleep, you watch the phone waiting for it to ring. Girls who glide need guys who make them "thump," I can make you "thump." Have dinner with me.
---
0
I know I can't have your cherry, but can I get the box it came in?
---
0
If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
---
0
Hello, can I offer you eight inches of strength and sensitivity?
---
0
Are you anorexic? Oh, OK, then I'll understand if you spit.
---
0
Do you have a can opener? My dick is about to pop.
---
0
Do you work at Subway? Because you just have me a footlong.
---
0
Do you want to see the soles of your feet in the wing mirrors in my car?
---
0
I wanna take my extention cord and stick it all the way into your electrical outlet.
---
0
You have beautiful hair. But it could be better. (How?) If it were spread over my pillow.
---
0
Wanna feed my beaver some wood?
---
0
Hello, I may have just met you but I feel like I have known you all my life and I love you. What hotel room should I reserve?
5
5
Hi, do you dissect insects for scientific research? (No, why?) I thought you might want to look inside my fly.
---
0
Roses are Red; Apples are Sour; I'll Spread my legs; and you can show me your "power."
---
0
I'm sterile.
9
2
I'll make you shiver when I deliver.
---
0
Hello, well-formed Homo-sapien specimen. Would you care to depart with me towards my domiciliary residence and observe a documentary of the ontogenesis of another Homo-sapien individual just prior to fertilization?
---
0
Want to get down with me like four flat tires?
---
0
Did I mention that I'm the only person in the Guinness Book of World's Records actually able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
---
0
If you were camping and woke up with a used condom inside you, would you tell anyone? (No.) Want to go Camping?
---
0
Let's have a party in your shoes, and then invite your pants.
---
0
I'm hungry and I'm on a liquid diet.
10
5
I can play the 1812 Overture on a touchtone phone with my tongue.
3
1
Hey. Do you have that Hawiian Disease? What? "Comeoniwannalayya".
---
0
I'm like chocolate: I go straight to your ass!
---
0
I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
---
0
Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let's go to my room and put our pieces together.
---
0
You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?
---
0
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
---
0
What is long and hard, and right behind you?
---
0
You remind me of a Twinky: Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth."
Ouch.
0
If I were to send you flowers... No wait, let me rephrase: If I were to let you suck on my tongue, would you be grateful?
---
0
I'll bet you $10 my dick can't fit into your mouth.
---
0
Baby, I would do more things to you than MacGyver in a "Do-It-Yourself Shop".
---
0
I'm gonna have sex tonight!!! I'm gonna have sex tonight!!! (With whom?) Depends: What are you doing tonight at around 1?
5
4
I'm like Domino's Pizza: if you don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
---
0
Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
---
0
I'm a vegetarian but I'd make an exception for your meat!
---
0
Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
---
0
Did you know that Rock and Roll was originally an African American euphimism for sex?" (creepy leering look)
---
0
Do you think a relationship between you and I would be all sex, or do you think that there would be some depth to it?
---
0
Puffs can guarantee a good blow. Can you?
---
0
Hey, do you exercise? Can I be your thighmaster?
---
0
I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?
---
0
Have you ever been hunting before? (No.) Well, then how about you come up to my cabin with me this weekend and I can teach you how to stuff a beaver.
---
0
I hear there's a major problem with deforestation in the world today. Why don't we put together your chest and my nuts, and help save the world?
---
0
This condem (holding in hand) has your name written on it.
---
0
Save a horse, Ride a cowboy.
---
0
My vagina is a garden, want to shovel me out?
---
0
Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?
---
0
Excuse me, but I've been over by the bar running some numbers, and I believe that through combining our genes, we could create a faster, stronger, smarter super-soldier for our country. Now, there remains only one way to actually create this super-soldier, but in this time of national emergency, we have all been called upon to exert ourselves to new heights. Therefore, not for me, but for America, the cause of freedom calls upon you to go home with me tonight.
---
0
Like the hurricane said to the coconut tree; hold on to your nuts I'm gonna give you the blow of your life.
---
0
You should join the circus.(Why?) So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
---
0
(Blow a kiss and miss on purpose) Oops, I guess I missed, wanna try again, but a little closer?
---
0
Who wants a mustache ride?
---
0
My name is Haywood. Haywood Jablome.
---
0
Are you a horse? (No.) Can I ride you anyway?
---
0
Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
---
0
You know, I do sleep well with others...
---
0
Hi, my name is Laura. I don't have a gag reflex.
---
0
Can I add a branch to your family tree?
---
0
Wanna lift? Your dick and my spirits.
---
0
Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to.
36
36
What time do you get off? Can I watch?
---
0
Been to India? I'll get India (in to you).
---
0
Do you know anything about real estate? (Grab crotch or breasts) I was just wondering if you could tell me if this is a lot.
---
0
I'm on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
---
0
Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
---
0
Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me? See,I'm trying to find someone. (Who?) Any girl/guy who'll sleep with me.
---
0
I have a job for you.... but it blows...
---
0
Aren't you the girl/guy who is having sex with that really good looking guy/girl? (No.) Want to be?
---
0
Once you are finished fucking the 10-inchers, come back to me.
---
0
My clit ring got stuck. Can you open it with your teeth?
---
0
You should stop drinking! (Why?) Because you are driving me home.
---
0
Are you a god? (Um, no.) You're not? Then why do I want to kneel before you?
10
10
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
---
0
Are your knees dirty? I don't want to get my floor dirty.
---
0
I just got this tan in Hawai'i. Why don't you call me when you want some of this tan to rub off on you.
lots
Still waiting for a call...
OH GOD! OH GOD! Just practicing.
---
0
Hi. I just need you to know that you can't get pregnant from anal sex.
---
0
Trust me. It will only seem kinky the first time.
---
0
You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?
---
0
In another life I think we dated and I dumped you. But I'm thinking that that was a mistake. Now is your second chance!
---
0
Excuse me, I'm putting together a list of people with whom I want to have sex, and I'll need the correct spelling of your name.
---
0
Soccer players can go for 90 minutes and know 11 different positions. Just thought you should know that.
---
0
I'd love you like a snowstorm: I'd give you 8 to 10 inches and you wouldn't be able to leave the house for 3 days.
---
0
Hi, my name is Chris. Have you heard of me? No? Well let me take you home and fill you in.
---
0
So, tell me about yourself, your dreams, your ambitions, your phone number.
---
0
For a dollar, I'll blow you...a kiss.
---
0
So you think I am full of myself? (Yes.) Would you rather be full of me instead?
---
0
Did you just throw a water balloon at me? Because you've got me all wet.
---
0
Hello. I'm just doing a survey. How tall are you on your knees?
---
0
You are as beautiful as the sunset. How about we stay up and watch it? In the meantime...
---
0
So you thinking about getting a piercing? Well, if you want you can come back to my place, I happen to know a bit about penetration.
---
0
Did you know that I asked the devil for a condom and he gave me three. I asked him for a dime and he gave me a dollar. I asked him for a blowjob and he pointed at you...
---
0
Hey, let's play the Price is Right. Your pants just won! So bring 'em on down!
---
0
Did you know that you can feel your pulse in your groin? Want me to test it on you?
---
0
If you were aspirin, I would take you every four to six hours.
---
0
Be careful...I don't want my anus to break.
---
0
Whisper into the ear: "Sponge bath."
---
0
D you want to get into a car accident? I could hit it from behind.
---
0
Let's talk about football. (Stick one hand out) There's an endzone here (put your other arm around the person) And there's an endzone here. Now let's talk about scoring.
---
0
I have a present for you. I'm going to bear your children for the next five years.
---
0
Do you want to go for a bicycle ride? Sit on my face and peddle my ears!
---
0
Excuse me, you look just like my personal ho. May I have your name?
---
0
Watch out! You almost burned me...with your hotness...Want to makeout?
---
0
Women just use me for my rugged good looks, hard tanned muscular body, and large penis. Sometimes I just cry myself to sleep, craving for a hug in the morning, not a blow job. If you would you hug me in the morning, I'll let you suck me off later, but really, I just want to loved.
---
0
---
---
I love you, you know.
---
---
Hey, kitten. How about spending some of your nine lives with me?
0
0
If I let you suck on my tongue, would you be grateful?
5
2
Have you ever played "Spank the brunette"? Want to try?
---
0
Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
---
0
Do you like whales? Well I have a hump-back at my place.
---
0
You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a hole filed of you!
---
0
You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
---
0
Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.
---
0
I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.
---
0
Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
---
0
Hi. Can I domesticate you?
---
0
Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
---
0
Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
---
0
If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.
---
0
Your belt looks extremely tight. Let me loosen it for you.
---
0
Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
---
0
"Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" (What?) "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight."
5
3
I've been a bad boy/girl, so spank me!
---
0
Do you mind if I hangout on your stomach for a half an hour or so?
---
0
I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
---
0
Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
---
0
"So, did you here the one about the guy and the girl who had the most sexual relationship?" ("No.") "Well then, let's go to my place and I'll tell you all about it."
6
4
Excuse me, do you have any Benedryl? No why? Because everytime I look at you I have swelling "down there"
---
0
Let us let only latex stand between our love.
25
0
(Walk up to the target and lick two fingers and place them near her crotch. Then place the fingers back in your mouth and say . . . ) I know you!
---
0
Do you see why they call me tri-pod?
---
0
Um...I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?
---
0
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
---
0
If you had some nuts on the wall, couldn't they be called walnuts? (Yes). If you had some nuts on your chest, could they be called chestnuts? (Yes) If you had some nuts on your chin, could they be chinnuts? (Yes.) Hell no, you'd have a dick in your mouth.
---
0
Do you like chips? Because if you are "Frito Lay" than I am a barrel of fun!
---
0
I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
---
0
Come over here and get a taste of America's Most Wanted.
---
0
Hi. My name is Laura. I'll be your playtoy tonight.
---
0
Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6-inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?
---
0
You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
---
0
Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?
---
0
How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?
---
0
Let us pretend my pants are France and invade them.
---
0
Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!
---
0
I would like to herd my cattle in your fertile valley.
---
0
Hi. I'm a dog and I need to bury my bone.
14
0
Lets skip all the bullshit, lose our inhibitions, and DO what we really came here to do.
---
0
You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
---
0
Do you live on a chicken farm? (No.) You sure know how to raise cocks
---
0
Excuse me, but you have a "dick for" on your head. (What's a "dick for"?) I'll show you.
---
0
Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
---
0
Hi, sorry I don't have an opening line but since you have an opening and I have a line. . .
---
0
How about we make like Winnie-the-poo and I get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
---
0
Do you wanna box? (Yes.) Well, get on your hands and knees and give me two blows to the head.
---
0
Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose. Take off your clothes.
---
0
Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
---
0
What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name. (Editor's note [if you couldn't figure it out]: switch if a girl is picking up a boy)
---
0
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
---
0
If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
---
0
(wiping your face), Oh I'm sorry, (wiping your face), let me clear a place for you to sit!
---
0
Hey I see you are wearing clothes. I'm wearing clothes. Did you know we have something in common? We should get together and do something sometime.
---
0
Is your boyfriend/girlfriend here? Is s/he on the roof? (No.) Then let's go to the roof!
---
0
Wanna play "kite"? I lay down, you blow and we'll see how high you can make me.
---
0
My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling. . .
---
0
I'm easy, but it looks like you are hard.
---
0
Do you have room in your life for another friend?
---
0
Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?
---
0
Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
---
0
Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
---
0
Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I'm here after.
---
0
If I were to borrow your glasses, could I see you home?
---
0
Could you tell me where they keep the rutabagas? Oh, thanks. Oh, by the way, what is a rutabaga?
---
0
I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
---
0
I wanna take out your pencil and stick it in my pencil case.
---
0
I wanna take out your golf clubs and score a HOLE in 1.
---
0
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until the afternoon.
---
0
Hi. I'm horny.
---
0
Excuse me, but you've got a Wild Blocost on your shoulder! (What's a Wild Blocost?) How much do ya got?
---
0
You know, I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
---
0
You look like my type: Nice hair, beautiful eyes, amazing body, but there is still just one problem: your clothing. (What's wrong with my clothing?) They're still on.
---
0
(Look down at the crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
---
0
So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
---
0
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
---
0
I have not had sex in three years. No matter what you did, kiss me all over, dance for me, or wear provocative outfits, I would not give in. Want to test me?
---
0
Hi. I'm like a tropical island: hot, wet, and waiting for tourists.
---
0
Are you cold? Let me be your electric blacket. Just plug me in and I'll make you feel nice and toasty inside and out.
---
0
(Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?
---
0
Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
---
0
Champaine can be tickly, and so can I.
5
4
You know how your hair would look really good? [No.] In my lap.
---
0
If I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?
---
0
Do you remember me from the other night? Probably not, because we really hit it off.
---
0
Do you believe in Santa Claus? Do you think that if I am good this year, he'll put you in my stocking this year?
---
0
You know what they say about guys with big hands. (What?) Big latex.
---
0
How can I love you if you won't lay down?
---
0
(What are you doing?) I'm taking off my shoes. (Why?) So I can take off my pants.
---
0
If I were the king, and you were the queen, in the cosmic game of chess, would you mate with me?
---
0
My cat has lovely fur. Can I see yours?
---
0
You know how I am with dicks? I suck at it.
---
0
Do you like anyone else in here? Well, I guess you are stuck with me.
1
1
If you were a duck and I were a moose, and we had sex, we'd make a duckmoose, and it would sound like this: [make the wierdest sound you can].
16
1
You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.
---
0
What do you think of Bill Clinton? (Answer...) Yeah, me too, but I try not to follow that stuff regarding Bill, Hilliary, or Monica. Want a cigar?
---
0
Damn, I know you are not on four legs, but you look faster than a cheetah.
---
0
You're on my list of things to do tonight.
---
0
If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
8
3
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now." Put ear to watch. "It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh..." Tap watch a few times. "That's the problem... my watch is an hour fast!"
---
0
Do you want to go swimming? Damn, there isn't a pool around... But my sheets are blue?
---
0
Hi, I'm the reincarnated soul of Tai-Pong, once a starved, naked Buddhist monk. All that isolation is getting to me. Want to get down on your knees and pray?
---
0
Come on. We're leaving.
---
0
The name is Reese, and you're lookin like someone that would suck on my piece.
---
0
(Holding your nuts) Do you want "2 CDs" (see these) for a dollar?
---
0
Does God know you've escaped from Heaven? Here, come with me to my place. You can stay there until he calls looking for you.
---
0
Look at my lips and your lips. They want to massage each other.
---
0
Have you ever seen Buttman's Between the Cheeks?" No, well let me demonstrate.
---
0
Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!
(Works great for white guys)
0
What's your name? That's a beautiful name. Can I ask you one single, impulsive question? Are you in love at the present moment? I'm not the type of person to impede on another person's happiness but if the answer is "No," I'd like to continue with my rhapsody. Has anybody ever told you that you glide? (What?) It's a very special quality, every other girl/boy in this place merely plods along but you glide, girls who glide need guys who make them "thump." (What's thump?) You think about him, you can't eat, you can't sleep, you watch the phone waiting for it to ring. Girls who glide need guys who make them "thump," I can make you "thump." Have dinner with me.
---
0
I know I can't have your cherry, but can I get the box it came in?
---
0
If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
---
0
Hello, can I offer you eight inches of strength and sensitivity?
---
0
Are you anorexic? Oh, OK, then I'll understand if you spit.
---
0
Do you have a can opener? My dick is about to pop.
---
0
Do you work at Subway? Because you just have me a footlong.
---
0
Do you want to see the soles of your feet in the wing mirrors in my car?
---
0
I wanna take my extention cord and stick it all the way into your electrical outlet.
---
0
You have beautiful hair. But it could be better. (How?) If it were spread over my pillow.
---
0
Wanna feed my beaver some wood?
---
0
Hello, I may have just met you but I feel like I have known you all my life and I love you. What hotel room should I reserve?
5
5
Hi, do you dissect insects for scientific research? (No, why?) I thought you might want to look inside my fly.
---
0
Roses are Red; Apples are Sour; I'll Spread my legs; and you can show me your "power."
---
0
I'm sterile.
9
2
I'll make you shiver when I deliver.
---
0
Hello, well-formed Homo-sapien specimen. Would you care to depart with me towards my domiciliary residence and observe a documentary of the ontogenesis of another Homo-sapien individual just prior to fertilization?
---
0
Want to get down with me like four flat tires?
---
0
Did I mention that I'm the only person in the Guinness Book of World's Records actually able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
---
0
If you were camping and woke up with a used condom inside you, would you tell anyone? (No.) Want to go Camping?
---
0
Let's have a party in your shoes, and then invite your pants.
---
0
I'm hungry and I'm on a liquid diet.
10
5
I can play the 1812 Overture on a touchtone phone with my tongue.
3
1
Hey. Do you have that Hawiian Disease? What? "Comeoniwannalayya".
---
0
I'm like chocolate: I go straight to your ass!
---
0
I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
---
0
Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let's go to my room and put our pieces together.
---
0
You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?
---
0
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
---
0
What is long and hard, and right behind you?
---
0
You remind me of a Twinky: Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth."
Ouch.
0
If I were to send you flowers... No wait, let me rephrase: If I were to let you suck on my tongue, would you be grateful?
---
0
I'll bet you $10 my dick can't fit into your mouth.
---
0
Baby, I would do more things to you than MacGyver in a "Do-It-Yourself Shop".
---
0
I'm gonna have sex tonight!!! I'm gonna have sex tonight!!! (With whom?) Depends: What are you doing tonight at around 1?
5
4
I'm like Domino's Pizza: if you don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
---
0
Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
---
0
I'm a vegetarian but I'd make an exception for your meat!
---
0
Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
---
0
Did you know that Rock and Roll was originally an African American euphimism for sex?" (creepy leering look)
---
0
Do you think a relationship between you and I would be all sex, or do you think that there would be some depth to it?
---
0
Puffs can guarantee a good blow. Can you?
---
0
Hey, do you exercise? Can I be your thighmaster?
---
0
I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?
---
0
Have you ever been hunting before? (No.) Well, then how about you come up to my cabin with me this weekend and I can teach you how to stuff a beaver.
---
0
I hear there's a major problem with deforestation in the world today. Why don't we put together your chest and my nuts, and help save the world?
---
0
This condem (holding in hand) has your name written on it.
---
0
Save a horse, Ride a cowboy.
---
0
My vagina is a garden, want to shovel me out?
---
0
Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?
---
0
Excuse me, but I've been over by the bar running some numbers, and I believe that through combining our genes, we could create a faster, stronger, smarter super-soldier for our country. Now, there remains only one way to actually create this super-soldier, but in this time of national emergency, we have all been called upon to exert ourselves to new heights. Therefore, not for me, but for America, the cause of freedom calls upon you to go home with me tonight.
---
0
Like the hurricane said to the coconut tree; hold on to your nuts I'm gonna give you the blow of your life.
---
0
You should join the circus.(Why?) So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
---
0
(Blow a kiss and miss on purpose) Oops, I guess I missed, wanna try again, but a little closer?
---
0
Who wants a mustache ride?
---
0
My name is Haywood. Haywood Jablome.
---
0
Are you a horse? (No.) Can I ride you anyway?
---
0
Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
---
0
You know, I do sleep well with others...
---
0
Hi, my name is Laura. I don't have a gag reflex.
---
0
Can I add a branch to your family tree?
---
0
Wanna lift? Your dick and my spirits.
---
0
Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to.
36
36
What time do you get off? Can I watch?
---
0
Been to India? I'll get India (in to you).
---
0
Do you know anything about real estate? (Grab crotch or breasts) I was just wondering if you could tell me if this is a lot.
---
0
I'm on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
---
0
Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
---
0
Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me? See,I'm trying to find someone. (Who?) Any girl/guy who'll sleep with me.
---
0
I have a job for you.... but it blows...
---
0
Aren't you the girl/guy who is having sex with that really good looking guy/girl? (No.) Want to be?
---
0
Once you are finished fucking the 10-inchers, come back to me.
---
0
My clit ring got stuck. Can you open it with your teeth?
---
0
You should stop drinking! (Why?) Because you are driving me home.
---
0
Are you a god? (Um, no.) You're not? Then why do I want to kneel before you?
10
10
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
---
0
Are your knees dirty? I don't want to get my floor dirty.
---
0
I just got this tan in Hawai'i. Why don't you call me when you want some of this tan to rub off on you.
lots
Still waiting for a call...
OH GOD! OH GOD! Just practicing.
---
0
Hi. I just need you to know that you can't get pregnant from anal sex.
---
0
Trust me. It will only seem kinky the first time.
---
0
You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?
---
0
In another life I think we dated and I dumped you. But I'm thinking that that was a mistake. Now is your second chance!
---
0
Excuse me, I'm putting together a list of people with whom I want to have sex, and I'll need the correct spelling of your name.
---
0
Soccer players can go for 90 minutes and know 11 different positions. Just thought you should know that.
---
0
I'd love you like a snowstorm: I'd give you 8 to 10 inches and you wouldn't be able to leave the house for 3 days.
---
0
Hi, my name is Chris. Have you heard of me? No? Well let me take you home and fill you in.
---
0
So, tell me about yourself, your dreams, your ambitions, your phone number.
---
0
For a dollar, I'll blow you...a kiss.
---
0
So you think I am full of myself? (Yes.) Would you rather be full of me instead?
---
0
Did you just throw a water balloon at me? Because you've got me all wet.
---
0
Hello. I'm just doing a survey. How tall are you on your knees?
---
0
You are as beautiful as the sunset. How about we stay up and watch it? In the meantime...
---
0
So you thinking about getting a piercing? Well, if you want you can come back to my place, I happen to know a bit about penetration.
---
0
Did you know that I asked the devil for a condom and he gave me three. I asked him for a dime and he gave me a dollar. I asked him for a blowjob and he pointed at you...
---
0
Hey, let's play the Price is Right. Your pants just won! So bring 'em on down!
---
0
Did you know that you can feel your pulse in your groin? Want me to test it on you?
---
0
If you were aspirin, I would take you every four to six hours.
---
0
Be careful...I don't want my anus to break.
---
0
Whisper into the ear: "Sponge bath."
---
0
D you want to get into a car accident? I could hit it from behind.
---
0
Let's talk about football. (Stick one hand out) There's an endzone here (put your other arm around the person) And there's an endzone here. Now let's talk about scoring.
---
0
I have a present for you. I'm going to bear your children for the next five years.
---
0
Do you want to go for a bicycle ride? Sit on my face and peddle my ears!
---
0
Excuse me, you look just like my personal ho. May I have your name?
---
0
Watch out! You almost burned me...with your hotness...Want to makeout?
---
0
Women just use me for my rugged good looks, hard tanned muscular body, and large penis. Sometimes I just cry myself to sleep, craving for a hug in the morning, not a blow job. If you would you hug me in the morning, I'll let you suck me off later, but really, I just want to loved.
---
0
Labels:
Great Pick up Lines
New Pick up Lines
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
5
1
"Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
2
0
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
1
0
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
0
0
Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!
0
0
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
2
0
Can I flirt with you?
1
0
Can I please be your slave tonight?
0
0
Can I see your tan lines?
0
0
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
0
0
Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
0
0
Congratulations! You have just been voted "Most Beautiful Boy/Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
0
0
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I could see myself in your pants.
0
0
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
0
0
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
0
0
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
0
0
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
3
1
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
0
0
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
4
1
Do you spit or swallow?
6
3
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
0
0
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
4
1
Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
0
0
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
0
0
Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
1
0
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
1
0
God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
0
0
Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
9
0
Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
60
4
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
4
3
Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
0
0
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
0
0
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
0
0
Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
1
0
Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
4
1
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
4
3
Hi. Are you legal?
0
0
Hi. You'll do.
0
0
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
0
0
How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
0
0
Hand out phone card that says: "Smile if you want to sleep with me."
0
0
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
0
0
I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
6
0
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
0
0
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
4
0
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
0
0
I wonder what our children will look like.
0
0
I would kill or die to make love with you.
0
0
I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
10
0
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
1
0
I'd look good on you.
0
0
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
1
0
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
1
0
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
2
1
I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?
0
0
I've got a condom with your name on it.
3
0
I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?
0
0
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
0
0
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
6
0
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
Only used by the King
Only works for the King
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
7
0
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
0
0
Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
7
3
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
0
0
Lie down. I think I love you.
2
1
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
2
0
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
0
0
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
8
0
Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
0
0
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
0
0
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
0
0
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
0
0
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
10
0
That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
0
0
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
0
0
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
2
0
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
0
0
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
1
0
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
0
0
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
0
0
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
14
0
Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
0
0
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
0
0
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
0
0
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
7
0
What do you like for breakfast?
0
0
(Do you have a match?) How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
1
0
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
0
0
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
6
5
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
1
0
Will you marry me for just one night?
0
0
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
0
0
Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
0
0
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
10
0
Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
0
0
Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow night.
0
0
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
4
0
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
9
0
You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
9
0
You smell wet. Let's Party.
6
0
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
10
0
Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
6
0
5
1
"Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
2
0
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
1
0
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
0
0
Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!
0
0
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
2
0
Can I flirt with you?
1
0
Can I please be your slave tonight?
0
0
Can I see your tan lines?
0
0
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
0
0
Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
0
0
Congratulations! You have just been voted "Most Beautiful Boy/Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
0
0
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I could see myself in your pants.
0
0
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
0
0
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
0
0
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
0
0
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
3
1
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
0
0
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
4
1
Do you spit or swallow?
6
3
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
0
0
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
4
1
Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
0
0
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
0
0
Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
1
0
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
1
0
God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
0
0
Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
9
0
Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
60
4
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
4
3
Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
0
0
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
0
0
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
0
0
Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
1
0
Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
4
1
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
4
3
Hi. Are you legal?
0
0
Hi. You'll do.
0
0
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
0
0
How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
0
0
Hand out phone card that says: "Smile if you want to sleep with me."
0
0
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
0
0
I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
6
0
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
0
0
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
4
0
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
0
0
I wonder what our children will look like.
0
0
I would kill or die to make love with you.
0
0
I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
10
0
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
1
0
I'd look good on you.
0
0
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
1
0
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
1
0
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
2
1
I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?
0
0
I've got a condom with your name on it.
3
0
I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?
0
0
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
0
0
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
6
0
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
Only used by the King
Only works for the King
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
7
0
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
0
0
Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
7
3
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
0
0
Lie down. I think I love you.
2
1
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
2
0
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
0
0
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
8
0
Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
0
0
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
0
0
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
0
0
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
0
0
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
10
0
That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
0
0
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
0
0
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
2
0
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
0
0
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
1
0
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
0
0
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
0
0
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
14
0
Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
0
0
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
0
0
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
0
0
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
7
0
What do you like for breakfast?
0
0
(Do you have a match?) How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
1
0
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
0
0
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
6
5
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
1
0
Will you marry me for just one night?
0
0
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
0
0
Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
0
0
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
10
0
Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
0
0
Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow night.
0
0
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
4
0
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
9
0
You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
9
0
You smell wet. Let's Party.
6
0
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
10
0
Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
6
0
Pick Up Lines 2
I wish you were a screen door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long!
0
0
Let's go get liquored up and rape each other.
5
1
Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
0
0
Chick do now.
804,147(or so one guy claims)
0
I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
---
0
Nice legs, lets eat out.
---
0
Hey! Wanna play war? (replies)WHAT? (you)Yea, I lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
---
0
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
---
0
You touch his shirt and ask, "Is this cotton?" Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, "Oh, this must be felt."
---
0
Hi my name is (your name), did I mention I have a penis.
---
0
My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
0
0
Show me your pussy!
---
0
Are you going to the party tonight (what party?) The one in your mouth, everybody's cumming.
---
0
If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?
19
0
If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? (if she says no) say Good, because mine is 8 inches.
17
1
I know where there is a good party, they've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear.
---
0
Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!
---
0
Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the taste of your vagina!
---
0
I'd rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in
---
0
Dah, wanna see my dink?
---
0
(silently mouth) I want a fig newton.
---
0
Do you have a beard on your pussy/asshole? (No.) Want one?
---
0
Your chest looks a little sore. Would you like me to numb it?
---
0
Do you wanna lick my tongue?
---
0
Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?
---
0
Do you like apples? (Yes.) How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?
---
0
Do you like jewels? (Yes.) Suck my dick, it's a gem.
---
0
Person #1: hey, you wanna do a 68? Person #2: What? Person #1: You go down, and I'll owe you one.
---
0
Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I'm nice.
---
0
Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length of the penis is six inches, the average female received two hundred and sixteen inches or fifteen feet per intercourse. Three times per week, fifty two weeks in a year, so, 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just over a mile and a half. If you are not getting your mile and a half, why not let me help out?
---
0
Tell me how my cum tastes.
---
0
First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
1
1
I've got a great big cock!
---
0
You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
---
0
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I like Spaghetti, Let's go fuck!
---
0
Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
---
0
Do you cheesy lines or do you just want to do it?
---
0
May i pleasure you with my tongue?
---
0
Wanna go 50-50 on a rape charge?
---
0
I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
---
0
(walk up to the bar and sit down in the seat next to them. While looking at them, order a drink and drink it down) Well, we can't fuck here!
---
0
Fuck me, I'm beautiful enough to be with you all night.
---
0
So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
---
0
Hi I'm (your name) I swallow
---
0
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
---
0
Mines bigger than his want proof?
---
0
I got a 14 inch cock, why don't you come home with me and I'll let you ride it.
---
0
You are rubber, I'm glue, what ever you say, I bet I will fuck you.
---
0
Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.
---
0
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
---
0
I would fuck you so hard, you'd learn from it.
---
0
Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead!
---
0
Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
yikes
0
Happy hour's over but it's still going strong at my place.
---
0
Whip it out and show me what you got, so I can save the disappointment from later.
---
0
Do you have any tacos on you? (No.) In that case, will you make out with me?
---
0
Would you fuck a complete stranger? (No) Then Hi, my name is...
---
0
Are you gay? (No.) Wow, me neither, let's have sex.
---
0
Hi. Last night, a little leprechaun came up to me and told me that if you don't have sex with me tonight, your(or my) dick is going to fall off. We don't want that now do we?
---
0
I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first participant?
---
0
If I washed my dick, would you suck it? (No.) Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.
---
0
Let's go fuck in a brand new limo.
---
0
Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna fuck?
---
0
Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "Fuck it".
---
0
love is a sensation; caused by a temptation; to feel penetration; a guy sticks his location; in a girl's destination; to increase the population; for the next generation; did you get my explanation; or do you need a demonstration?
---
0
Nice fucking weather. Want to?
---
0
Wanna fuck, or should I call my lawyer?
---
0
Hi, my name is Guerrermo. I eat pussy like a woman.
---
0
You remind me of a blue ribbon bass. I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
2
1
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under...
---
0
I'm not a slut, I'm just popular. Wanna fuck me and be the Big Man on Campus?
0
0
You know, you really piss me off. You are the most disgusting bitch I have ever seen. Absolutely disgraceful. Wanna suck my hairy balls?
---
0
And why not!?!
You -will- go home with me tonight.
0
Ah, the Jedi mind trick finally finds a good use...
0
I ran out of Viagra. Can I use you?
---
0
Do you know what part of the tongue registers the "salty taste? Why don't you blow me and find out?
---
0
Excuse me, but I think that you are too drunk to drive. Can you recite the alphabet backwards? [Does it] Next, I need for you to bend over and spell "RUN".
---
0
Can you lick your nipples? [No.] Can I?
---
0
Alright, let's go... I'll give you a half hour.
---
---
I'm not an expert in hardware, but I know that you'd be able to screw my nuts off.
---
---
(put out hand) Give me five. (after they give you five, leave your hand up) Give me elbow. (after they give you elbow, leave your hand up) Give me shoulder. (after they give you shoulder, leave your hand up) Give me nose. (after they give you nose, leave your hand up) Give me head.
---
---
Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
---
---
Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?
---
Roses are black?
You've been a bad, bad girl(boy). Go to my room!
10
5
Ever slept in a $5000 bed? Want to?
3
2
This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
3
1
I'm hard. You wet?
---
---
I'm a necrophiliac... How well do you play dead?
---
---
If you won't fuck me, can I fuck you?
---
---
I'm rubber, your glue. Let's have sex.
---
---
I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help....
---
---
You're dead sexy. Get in my pussy!
---
---
I'm scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room & test out all of my condoms?
---
---
The Lord gave us the power to fuck. So, let's go have sex!
---
---
If I was a chipmunk, and you were a bunny,...wait, or was it the other way around...forget it, Wanna screw?
---
---
Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so let's begin.
---
---
What do I have to do to be your booty call?
12
8
If you talk to me, I'll fuck you.
---
---
Do you believe in free love? (Certainly no!) Then how much do you cost?
---
---
I have a 13 inch dick. Remember that, there will be an oral exam later.
---
---
(Stare at her until she says "What!?!") It isn't just gonna suck itself.
---
---
Hey baby, I'll fuck you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.
---
---
Thanks for the blow job last night. (What blow job? I didn't give you one.) You didn't? You owe me one.
---
---
Let's go to your place and love each other until my dick falls in your pussy.
---
---
I'll suck you so hard that you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when I'm finished.
---
---
Do you train cats? (No, why?) Because you just made my pussy cum!
---
---
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
---
---
Let's face it. I'm hot, you're hot and we both know you got a crush on me. And really, who can blame you with a gorgeous face like this. So can I snatch a kiss or vice-versa (that is kiss a snatch).
2
2
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
---
---
I've got a hummer and a vibrator. Which one do you want to test drive first?
---
---
Hi, I'm a representative for Joe Boxer. I'm doing a survey on which brand guys prefer leaving in the corner of the room while having wild sex.
---
---
Do you wanna go back to my place, fuck, then never speak again? I do.
---
---
Ahoy there fair maiden, might I trouble thee for a fisting?
---
---
I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?
---
---
I have an oral fixation with giving oral gratification. If you are willing to receive I am more than willing to give.
---
---
I am participating in the Sexual Olympics multiple orgasm relay race my partner just died of exhaustion. Would you like to help me out?
---
---
I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
---
---
I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. Let's just fuck.
---
---
I'd like to sit and suck on what's hiding behind your zipper.
---
---
You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
---
---
If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart. I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna fuck you.
---
---
You know, looking at you right now, in this light... I could fuck you.
---
---
try me once and if you don't like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? It'd be more if you want foreplay.
---
---
I'm afraid of getting pregnant. Want go up to my room and test all of my condoms?
---
---
So do you fuck, suck and take it up the ass or am I wasting my time on a Jesus freak?
So simple...
...and so brilliant
Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me?
5
4
Grab your jacket, you've scored. Let's go.
3
2
If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricants.
---
---
Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. She'd like your phone number. She wants to know where she can get a hold of me in the morning.
10
8 (not 10!?!)
Hey baby! Wanna play superheroes? I'll be Superman and fuck you faster than a speeding bullet.
---
---
When we are all done fucking each other silly and licking each other beyond reason - at that point it's such a good time neither one of us wants the night to end - you are not gonna think I'm gay, are you?
---
---
Sniff....Sniff... I smell that you are in season, want to breed?
---
---
Life is short. Let's fuck and see if there is anything after that.
---
---
Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't.
2
2
I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Want me to put some words in your mouth??
---
---
How about you be my story and I'll be your climax!
---
---
Do you want to play a game? It's called 'Slob the Knob.'
---
---
What's your favorite sound? My favorite sound is my balls slapping your ass.
---
---
So, I'm not doing anything until 3:00pm tomorrow, you want to get out of here?
---
---
Do you know where the ishium is? How about the fornix? Well, I could tell you where they are, but I would rather show you.
---
---
My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
---
---
The CIA wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you? Repeated?
---
---
Roses are red, widows wear black, what will it take to get you on your back?
---
---
I'm going to fuck myself until I'm unconscious. Want to help?
---
---
I'm just looking for a friend with benefits.
---
---
Hi. I think your friend is really hot. Do you have a ride home or is it just going to be the three of us?
---
---
Excuse me, can I have some sex, in exchange for sex?
---
---
0
0
Let's go get liquored up and rape each other.
5
1
Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
0
0
Chick do now.
804,147(or so one guy claims)
0
I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
---
0
Nice legs, lets eat out.
---
0
Hey! Wanna play war? (replies)WHAT? (you)Yea, I lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
---
0
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
---
0
You touch his shirt and ask, "Is this cotton?" Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, "Oh, this must be felt."
---
0
Hi my name is (your name), did I mention I have a penis.
---
0
My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
0
0
Show me your pussy!
---
0
Are you going to the party tonight (what party?) The one in your mouth, everybody's cumming.
---
0
If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?
19
0
If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? (if she says no) say Good, because mine is 8 inches.
17
1
I know where there is a good party, they've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear.
---
0
Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!
---
0
Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the taste of your vagina!
---
0
I'd rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in
---
0
Dah, wanna see my dink?
---
0
(silently mouth) I want a fig newton.
---
0
Do you have a beard on your pussy/asshole? (No.) Want one?
---
0
Your chest looks a little sore. Would you like me to numb it?
---
0
Do you wanna lick my tongue?
---
0
Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?
---
0
Do you like apples? (Yes.) How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?
---
0
Do you like jewels? (Yes.) Suck my dick, it's a gem.
---
0
Person #1: hey, you wanna do a 68? Person #2: What? Person #1: You go down, and I'll owe you one.
---
0
Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I'm nice.
---
0
Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length of the penis is six inches, the average female received two hundred and sixteen inches or fifteen feet per intercourse. Three times per week, fifty two weeks in a year, so, 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just over a mile and a half. If you are not getting your mile and a half, why not let me help out?
---
0
Tell me how my cum tastes.
---
0
First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
1
1
I've got a great big cock!
---
0
You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
---
0
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I like Spaghetti, Let's go fuck!
---
0
Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
---
0
Do you cheesy lines or do you just want to do it?
---
0
May i pleasure you with my tongue?
---
0
Wanna go 50-50 on a rape charge?
---
0
I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
---
0
(walk up to the bar and sit down in the seat next to them. While looking at them, order a drink and drink it down) Well, we can't fuck here!
---
0
Fuck me, I'm beautiful enough to be with you all night.
---
0
So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
---
0
Hi I'm (your name) I swallow
---
0
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
---
0
Mines bigger than his want proof?
---
0
I got a 14 inch cock, why don't you come home with me and I'll let you ride it.
---
0
You are rubber, I'm glue, what ever you say, I bet I will fuck you.
---
0
Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.
---
0
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
---
0
I would fuck you so hard, you'd learn from it.
---
0
Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead!
---
0
Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
yikes
0
Happy hour's over but it's still going strong at my place.
---
0
Whip it out and show me what you got, so I can save the disappointment from later.
---
0
Do you have any tacos on you? (No.) In that case, will you make out with me?
---
0
Would you fuck a complete stranger? (No) Then Hi, my name is...
---
0
Are you gay? (No.) Wow, me neither, let's have sex.
---
0
Hi. Last night, a little leprechaun came up to me and told me that if you don't have sex with me tonight, your(or my) dick is going to fall off. We don't want that now do we?
---
0
I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first participant?
---
0
If I washed my dick, would you suck it? (No.) Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.
---
0
Let's go fuck in a brand new limo.
---
0
Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna fuck?
---
0
Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "Fuck it".
---
0
love is a sensation; caused by a temptation; to feel penetration; a guy sticks his location; in a girl's destination; to increase the population; for the next generation; did you get my explanation; or do you need a demonstration?
---
0
Nice fucking weather. Want to?
---
0
Wanna fuck, or should I call my lawyer?
---
0
Hi, my name is Guerrermo. I eat pussy like a woman.
---
0
You remind me of a blue ribbon bass. I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
2
1
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under...
---
0
I'm not a slut, I'm just popular. Wanna fuck me and be the Big Man on Campus?
0
0
You know, you really piss me off. You are the most disgusting bitch I have ever seen. Absolutely disgraceful. Wanna suck my hairy balls?
---
0
And why not!?!
You -will- go home with me tonight.
0
Ah, the Jedi mind trick finally finds a good use...
0
I ran out of Viagra. Can I use you?
---
0
Do you know what part of the tongue registers the "salty taste? Why don't you blow me and find out?
---
0
Excuse me, but I think that you are too drunk to drive. Can you recite the alphabet backwards? [Does it] Next, I need for you to bend over and spell "RUN".
---
0
Can you lick your nipples? [No.] Can I?
---
0
Alright, let's go... I'll give you a half hour.
---
---
I'm not an expert in hardware, but I know that you'd be able to screw my nuts off.
---
---
(put out hand) Give me five. (after they give you five, leave your hand up) Give me elbow. (after they give you elbow, leave your hand up) Give me shoulder. (after they give you shoulder, leave your hand up) Give me nose. (after they give you nose, leave your hand up) Give me head.
---
---
Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
---
---
Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?
---
Roses are black?
You've been a bad, bad girl(boy). Go to my room!
10
5
Ever slept in a $5000 bed? Want to?
3
2
This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
3
1
I'm hard. You wet?
---
---
I'm a necrophiliac... How well do you play dead?
---
---
If you won't fuck me, can I fuck you?
---
---
I'm rubber, your glue. Let's have sex.
---
---
I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help....
---
---
You're dead sexy. Get in my pussy!
---
---
I'm scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room & test out all of my condoms?
---
---
The Lord gave us the power to fuck. So, let's go have sex!
---
---
If I was a chipmunk, and you were a bunny,...wait, or was it the other way around...forget it, Wanna screw?
---
---
Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so let's begin.
---
---
What do I have to do to be your booty call?
12
8
If you talk to me, I'll fuck you.
---
---
Do you believe in free love? (Certainly no!) Then how much do you cost?
---
---
I have a 13 inch dick. Remember that, there will be an oral exam later.
---
---
(Stare at her until she says "What!?!") It isn't just gonna suck itself.
---
---
Hey baby, I'll fuck you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.
---
---
Thanks for the blow job last night. (What blow job? I didn't give you one.) You didn't? You owe me one.
---
---
Let's go to your place and love each other until my dick falls in your pussy.
---
---
I'll suck you so hard that you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when I'm finished.
---
---
Do you train cats? (No, why?) Because you just made my pussy cum!
---
---
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
---
---
Let's face it. I'm hot, you're hot and we both know you got a crush on me. And really, who can blame you with a gorgeous face like this. So can I snatch a kiss or vice-versa (that is kiss a snatch).
2
2
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
---
---
I've got a hummer and a vibrator. Which one do you want to test drive first?
---
---
Hi, I'm a representative for Joe Boxer. I'm doing a survey on which brand guys prefer leaving in the corner of the room while having wild sex.
---
---
Do you wanna go back to my place, fuck, then never speak again? I do.
---
---
Ahoy there fair maiden, might I trouble thee for a fisting?
---
---
I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?
---
---
I have an oral fixation with giving oral gratification. If you are willing to receive I am more than willing to give.
---
---
I am participating in the Sexual Olympics multiple orgasm relay race my partner just died of exhaustion. Would you like to help me out?
---
---
I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
---
---
I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. Let's just fuck.
---
---
I'd like to sit and suck on what's hiding behind your zipper.
---
---
You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
---
---
If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart. I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna fuck you.
---
---
You know, looking at you right now, in this light... I could fuck you.
---
---
try me once and if you don't like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? It'd be more if you want foreplay.
---
---
I'm afraid of getting pregnant. Want go up to my room and test all of my condoms?
---
---
So do you fuck, suck and take it up the ass or am I wasting my time on a Jesus freak?
So simple...
...and so brilliant
Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me?
5
4
Grab your jacket, you've scored. Let's go.
3
2
If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricants.
---
---
Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. She'd like your phone number. She wants to know where she can get a hold of me in the morning.
10
8 (not 10!?!)
Hey baby! Wanna play superheroes? I'll be Superman and fuck you faster than a speeding bullet.
---
---
When we are all done fucking each other silly and licking each other beyond reason - at that point it's such a good time neither one of us wants the night to end - you are not gonna think I'm gay, are you?
---
---
Sniff....Sniff... I smell that you are in season, want to breed?
---
---
Life is short. Let's fuck and see if there is anything after that.
---
---
Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't.
2
2
I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Want me to put some words in your mouth??
---
---
How about you be my story and I'll be your climax!
---
---
Do you want to play a game? It's called 'Slob the Knob.'
---
---
What's your favorite sound? My favorite sound is my balls slapping your ass.
---
---
So, I'm not doing anything until 3:00pm tomorrow, you want to get out of here?
---
---
Do you know where the ishium is? How about the fornix? Well, I could tell you where they are, but I would rather show you.
---
---
My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
---
---
The CIA wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you? Repeated?
---
---
Roses are red, widows wear black, what will it take to get you on your back?
---
---
I'm going to fuck myself until I'm unconscious. Want to help?
---
---
I'm just looking for a friend with benefits.
---
---
Hi. I think your friend is really hot. Do you have a ride home or is it just going to be the three of us?
---
---
Excuse me, can I have some sex, in exchange for sex?
---
---
Pick Up Lines
Pick-Up Lines
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
12
1
Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
21
2
Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
16
1
Do you take it up the ass?
17
2
Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
1
0
Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
1
0
Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
0
0
Fancy a fuck?
23
2
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
0
0
Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
23
2
Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
23
2
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
0
0
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
0
0
Go up to a someone at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck... (wait for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?
0
0
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
0
0
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
0
0
Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
29
23
Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
0
0
Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!
0
0
Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs.
0
0
Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
20
2
Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?
0
0
Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
0
0
Hey baby, what do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!?
0
0
Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.
0
0
Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
10
1
Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?
0
0
Hi, I'm a tawdry slut looking for a good time.
0
0
Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
0
0
Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?
120
12
Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?
10
1
I am a magical being, take off your bra.
0
0
I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
0
0
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
10
3
I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
0
0
I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
0
0
I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
120
100
I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!
0
0
I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down.
0
0
I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
0
0
I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
0
0
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
0
0
Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
Not enough
Enough
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
0
0
My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
0
0
My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.
0
0
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
10
1
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
0
0
Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
0
0
NOW, BITCH!
0
0
Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
0
0
Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
0
0
Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
0
0
Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
0
0
Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.
10
1
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
0
0
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
0
0
Wanna fuck like bunnies?
30
3
We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
0
0
What can I do to make you sleep with me?
0
0
What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
0
0
Your face or MINE!?
0
0
Your place or mine?
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
12
1
Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
21
2
Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
16
1
Do you take it up the ass?
17
2
Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
1
0
Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
1
0
Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
0
0
Fancy a fuck?
23
2
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
0
0
Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
23
2
Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
23
2
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
0
0
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
0
0
Go up to a someone at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck... (wait for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?
0
0
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
0
0
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
0
0
Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
29
23
Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
0
0
Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!
0
0
Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs.
0
0
Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
20
2
Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?
0
0
Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
0
0
Hey baby, what do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!?
0
0
Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.
0
0
Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
10
1
Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?
0
0
Hi, I'm a tawdry slut looking for a good time.
0
0
Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
0
0
Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?
120
12
Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?
10
1
I am a magical being, take off your bra.
0
0
I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
0
0
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
10
3
I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
0
0
I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
0
0
I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
120
100
I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!
0
0
I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down.
0
0
I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
0
0
I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
0
0
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
0
0
Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
Not enough
Enough
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
0
0
My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
0
0
My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.
0
0
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
10
1
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
0
0
Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
0
0
NOW, BITCH!
0
0
Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
0
0
Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
0
0
Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
0
0
Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
0
0
Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.
10
1
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
0
0
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
0
0
Wanna fuck like bunnies?
30
3
We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
0
0
What can I do to make you sleep with me?
0
0
What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
0
0
Your face or MINE!?
0
0
Your place or mine?
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