Just Plain Lame:
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
3
0
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
3
0
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
5
0
Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
4
0
Do you want to see something swell?
4
0
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
7
0
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
6
0
Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
2
0
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
4
0
I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
2
0
I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
2
0
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
5
0
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
1
0
My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.
2
0
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
2
0
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
6
0
Pardon me, are you in heat?!
2
0
Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
5
0
So, you're a girl huh?
6
1
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
1
0
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
2
0
Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats fiv e.
2
0
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
1
0
You make my software turn to hardware!
1
0
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
2
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well: "Hey, wanna hook up sometime?"
---
---
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
not enough
0
Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere?
---
---
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
---
---
Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
10
10
Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
---
---
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
---
---
Hi... would you fuck me? I'd fuck me, I'd fuck me real hard!!
---
---
Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
---
---
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
---
---
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
---
---
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
---
---
Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?"
---
---
They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
---
---
Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick?
---
---
Which one of the Spice girls are you?
54
2
Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
1
0
Weren't you at the tractor pull last night? I remember your tits.
---
---
Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
---
---
(Used while you and a male friend wear a bib. Walk up and stare at breasts) Mama!
---
0
This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.
Instead, they had to hear that.
0
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
---
0
Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size.
---
0
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in
---
0
Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes.
---
0
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
---
0
Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
---
0
I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!
---
0
Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularly nice weather."
---
0
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
---
0
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
---
0
Damn, have you been eating beans and rice lately?
---
0
I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
---
0
I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?
4
-3
Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand.
---
0
For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...
15
5
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
---
0
Don't worry about the missing teeth. It just means that there is more room for your tongue.
---
0
Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
---
0
I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
4
2!!!
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
Get it? Rushing and Roaming?
Haa haa
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
?
2
So you wanna get laid? Then crawl up a chicken's butt and wait.
---
0
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
---
0
Can you help me up? My dick is too big.
---
0
Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69.
---
0
Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show!
---
0
You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.
---
0
Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!
---
0
Good day for weather.
---
0
You know what you and corn have in common? (No) Absolutely nothing! (laugh hysterically at yourself.)
---
0
I wet my pants... can I get in yours?
---
0
Got two nipples for a dime?
---
0
Are you Natasha, my contact?
---
0
You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride the me.
---
0
You're so hot, your ass is on fire.
15
12 (I believe this guy)
If you were a dwarf, you'd probably say I got a big dick.
---
0
You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."
---
0
OK, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest little way of getting on and off.
---
0
Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?"
---
0
Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
---
0
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
---
0
Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, shit, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
---
0
If I stuck my cock in Ajax for an hour,would you suck it? NO!! Dirty cock sucker!
---
0
Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with you? (nudge with elbow)
---
0
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
---
0
You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!
---
0
Excuse me. Do you put on a foundation before you put on a powder? (Yeah.) Can I have your phone number?
---
0
I think you and I should dipthong.
---
0
I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit.
---
0
Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement...
---
0
Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can figure out how to send that money, and walk away.
---
0
Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.
---
0
Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.
---
0
Can I try a few pick up lines on you? [give some good ones and some lame ones] OK, I have just one more line for you: Can I try a few pick up lines on you?
1
1
(Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "threesome" written on your forehead?
---
0
My name is Justin. Justincredible.
---
0
Hey, there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex? (I don't know) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
---
0
Excuse me, but would you like to hold the priesthood?
---
0
If you were my sister/brother, incest would be cool.
---
0
Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress!
---
0
I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle.
---
0
You look like my World of Warcraft character. Want to go back to my place and do some PvP (player vs. player)?
---
0
You do to my mind what White Castle does to my bowels; just runnin' all day.
---
0
I can tell by the way you're ignoring me that you want me...
---
0
The doctor said I broke the record for the world's most powerful penis. Do you want to see me work my magic?
---
0
(Put your hands down your pants, then smell them) Ah, smells like success. Want to smell?
---
0
If my pillow had a hole in it, I would name it after you.
---
0
Would you fuck me if I was going to die soon? Well, I've got a bomb in my pants.
---
0
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
---
0
If I told you I was gay, would you let me touch you?
---
0
Let's get drunk and take advantage of each other. Or, I could get drunk and you could just take advantage of me. OR, you can stay here and get drunk and I can go home and take advantage of myself. Either way, it's up to you.
Flattery: Compliments CAN be nice...
Flattery: Compliments CAN be nice...
(Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.
0
0
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
0
0
Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
4
1
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
0
0
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
1
0
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
0
0
Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
0
0
Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you."
0
0
Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
0
0
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
10
7
Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
0
0
Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
12
4
Hey, I know you! You were Miss Maryland last year, weren't you?
0
0
I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
1
1(for Dick)
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
0
0
I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
41
17
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
2
0
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
0
0
I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
20
3
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
0
0
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
14
0
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
10
3
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
1
0
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
0
0
Just where do those legs of yours end?
0
0
Let's take a shower together -- you smell.
0
0
Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
34
7
So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
0
0
Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you.
20
3
Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
0
0
Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
10
3
Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
0
0
Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
10
5
Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
0
0
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
40
11
What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
King Cheese!
Some cheese
Wow! Are those real?
12
1
Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.
0
0
You are the reason men fall in love.
0
0
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
1
0
You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
3
0
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
0
0
You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice.
4
1
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
0
0
You should be someone's wife.
4
1
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
8
8...successive slaps...
You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
0
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
13
13
Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
---
---
Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night!
3
0
If you have a chance to become anything on earth what would you want to become?" [the answer] you: " well to me, I want to be your tear drop: I was born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
---
0
Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!
---
0
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
---
0
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
---
0
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
---
0
You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
---
0
Baby, you so flat you make the walls jealous.
---
0
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
---
0
I bet you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
---
0
I bet you could suck Lincoln's head off a penny.
---
0
Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
3
0
Are you wearing space pants? Cause your ass is out of this world.
---
0
Excuse me.....Hi, i'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you...
---
0
If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.
---
0
Guy: Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Girl: Why? Guy: I looked at you and dropped mine.
---
0
Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
---
0
There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because everytime I see you, you turn me on!
---
0
Damn, I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
---
0
Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special.
10
2
Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?
11
10
Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
---
0
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
---
0
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
---
0
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
---
0
If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
11
7
Presents the person with a single rose and say: "I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are."
---
0
I betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day.
6
6
If God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
---
0
You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
I hope that it would be seen as flattery.
0
You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
---
0
Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
---
0
You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
---
0
I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
---
0
Most people like to watch the (i.e. World Cup, Stanley Cup, Super Bowl, NBA playoffs, etc..) cuz it only happens once a year/every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.
---
0
Where's your paper bag? (What?) Your paper bag to put over your head. (Excuse me?) It's dangerous for someone like you to be out in public with all of these horny people around. Don't worry, I'll protect you.
---
0
When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
---
0
Has anyone ever told you that you have Scandinavian hands? (Uh, no.) No, of course not, that would be an incredibly stupid thing to say, wouldn't it?
---
0
Excuse me miss... Is your face so messed up because you fell from heaven.
---
0
Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
---
0
Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
---
0
Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
---
0
Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
---
0
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
---
0
Do you go the ocean much? 'Cause you smell like the CLAM!
---
0
Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
---
0
I'm sorry, but, have we met before? (No.) Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that it must have been your mom.
---
0
Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
---
0
You're a babe, right? Haven't you seen the film?
---
0
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
cheesy?
Quite.
Even though the ugly lights are shining bright, you still look beautiful.
---
0
There aren't enough "O"'s in the word "smooth" to describe how smooth you are.
---
0
This is incredible. This is the first time that this has ever happened to us. (What?) Each one of my 27 personalities found you cute!
---
0
If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.
---
0
Wow, you have some sweet birthin' hips.
---
0
(Walk up to them and touch them) Thank God, I thought that you were only an illusion(mirage).
---
0
If beauty were a grain of sand, you'd be a million beaches.
---
0
Is that your date, or did your brother get a new dress?
---
0
You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.
---
0
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
---
0
If it weren't for that DAMNED sun, you'd be the hottest thing ever created.
---
0
That's a nice watch [Thank you] Actually, that's a nice dress. [Again, thank you] Come to think of it, everything is nice on you.
---
0
Did the Lord steal the thunder from the skies and put them in your thighs?
---
0
Are those implants?
Is that flattery, or "flattery"?
0
Are you a bird collector? 'Cause you've got a nice set of hooters.
---
0
Excuse me, is that your perfume that you are wearing?
---
0
How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me.
---
0
I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.
---
0
(Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Person: What are you doing?!?!? You: Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. Person: WHAT?!?!? You: Well it has to be illegal to look that good!
---
0
You are a 9.9999. You'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
---
0
Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
1
1
When God made you, he was showing off.
---
0
(Bump into someone) If I knew how hot you were I would have grabbed your ass instead of bumping into you.
---
0
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
---
0
Hey, don't frown - you'll never know who might be falling in love with your smile.
---
0
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.
---
0
My ex-girlfriend used to call me Goldfinger.
---
0
If all the stars in the sky were summed, not even words that many times stronger than "beautiful" could ever be used to describe you.
---
0
You're so hot, I bet you could light a candel at 10 paces.
---
0
How much did it cost? (What?) The surgery that made you so hot!
---
0
Are you a bad load of laundry? You make my pants feel two sizes too small.
---
0
If you were a laser gun, you'd be set on stunning.
---
0
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porshe.
---
0
The drink: \$6. The room: $100. The night with you?: Priceless.
---
0
Listen to this: my buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful boy/girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
---
0
You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!
---
0
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
---
0
Have you seen my enormous jar of "Penis Reducing Cream"?
---
0
You know at this angle as the lights hit your eyes [start fixing hair] I can see myself and I look great." Then smile, and sheepishly say "just kidding."
---
0
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
---
0
You wet? I'd bet you are after looking at me.
---
0
You're so fine, I'd suck your daddy's dick just to get some of where that came from.
---
0
I can't believe I've been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye".
20
20
I had your sister last year, she sucked. Wanna defend your family honor?
---
0
Hey baby, you've got somthing on your butt: my eyes.
---
0
This isn't a beer belly, It'a a fuel tank for a love machine.
2
0 (I have no idea why...)
Are those your breasts or are they Siamese Watermelons?
---
0
I don't know you, but I think I love you already.
1
1
You look beautiful today, just like every other day.
---
0
Walk up and say, "Yes?" "What?" "Oh, my friend told me that you wanted to make out with me because I'm the finest thing you have seen all night."
---
0
Are you an interior decorator? When i saw you the room became beautiful.
---
0
You know I'd like to invite you over, but I'm afraid you're so hot you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.
---
0
Ok, quick, you go in the toilets and get me some condoms and meet me back here in five minutes... In the meantime I'll go and get you some breath mints...
---
0
You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 30.
10
5
Scientists call me a medical miracle.
---
0
[You] Here are my keys [Other] Why? [You] Here's the key to my house, my car,...and my heart.
---
0
You had better direct that beauty and femininity somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
---
0
Pardon me, I don't mean to make a pass, but you must be leavin' the country if you're packin' that much ass.
---
0
Why is it that every time you are around, my pants feel tighter?
---
0
When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
17
16
Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.
---
0
Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
---
0
Fat Penguin. WHAT? I just thought I'd say something to break the ice.
---
0
You know that I think about you only twice a day? Once when my eyes are open, and once when they are closed.
---
0
You're so flat, I don't know if you're walking forwareds or backwards.
---
0
Two words explain me when I'm not with you. Jergens Lotion.
---
0
Baby, you must be a slut because you give out more ass than a donkey dealership.
---
0
How much do you cost? I've got a dollar, how much change would I get back?
---
0
If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would chose winning the lottery...but it would be close...real close...
---
0
Is that a fox on your shoulder, or am I seeing double?
---
0
Will you be my derivative? I'll be the area under your curves.
---
0
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
---
0
Do you like pool, cause I've got the balls if you've got the rack. (or vice versa)
---
0
Damn, Sugar, settle down. I'm diabetic.
10
10
You need $20 and a friend. Give friend the $20. Walk up to target. Friend says, "You're right. Those are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." Hands you the $20 and walks away.
**DAMN, you need a friend!**
0
So last night I had the same dream over and over - always the same thing, but in a different location every time. I kept dreaming that I was asking you out, but every time before you answered, I woke up, and I'm dying to know what your answer was.
---
0
Tonight, you know you will be sitting on your bed and you will be holding your pillow close to your chest and wish it were me pressing against your chest.
---
0
From across the bare you looked a little on the heavy side, but as you got closer I noticed you were ugly too!
---
0
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
---
0
(If s/he is looking at you)You know, my mother always told me it was impolite to stare... so what do you say we dance?
8
8
Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!
---
0
See these keys? Ya like em? I wish I had the one to your heart.
---
0
Excuse me I have a problem and I wonder if you can help me? (O.K. I'll see what I can do. What is your problem?) I have every S.T.D. in the book except for one and I think you can give it to me!
---
0
Hey baby. I'm single. Do you believe that shit?
1
1
Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!
---
0
Is that shirt Camel Skin? 'Cause I'm checkin' out your humps!
---
0
You could make a glass eye cry...
---
0
I think that your attractive and simply amazing from what I've seen so far. Can I get your number and meet your personality.
---
0
All the other girls are just rough Drafts .... but i think you are the FINAL COPY!!
---
0
Are you a hands-on-learner? Because I am, and I'd like to learn about you...
---
0
Way to go God!!!
---
0
If God had a refrigerator, a picture of you would be on it.
---
0
Your voice sounds like sandpaper grated over a cheese grater.
---
0
I bet your name is Jesus, because you look like you came from heaven!
---
Wow. Sacrilegiously lame.
You don't look too bad, I'm guessing you only got hit once in the face with that sack of nickels, right?
---
0
Bitch, give me some of that disease!
---
0
You look so hot that I could cook rice on you!
---
Wow. Ethnic-insensitively lame.
You're hotter than donut grease.
---
0
You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
---
0
I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.
---
0
A thousand painters working for a thousand years could not create a beauty that equals you.
---
0
Did you know its a felony in this state to look that good, but if you turn around I'll let you off with a warning.
---
0
If you were on hotornot.com, I would give you a ten.
---
0
There are only two beautiful girls in the world, and you are both of them.
---
0
Your good looks don't intimidate me. (Walk away)
---
0
If you could put a price tag on beauty you'd be worth more than Fort Knox.
---
0
Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet bowl.
---
0
Baby, you're so hot, you make the North Pole look like the equator.
---
0
You're so hot, I'd better smother you with my body before you burst into flame!
---
0
When I grow up, i want to have a beautiful daughter. So can I ask your parents how they made you be that way?
---
0
Did you fall out of the sky? That would explain what happened to your face.
---
0
You know, they say that behind every beautiful woman there is a beautiful behind. Well, your ass is gorgeous.
---
0
(Sounding official) Excuse me, we have a problem here. You see that table over there? It has one too many chairs at it. Would you like to join me?
4
4
I must be dancing with the devil, because you're hot as hell.
---
0
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
---
0
You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!
---
0
What is your occupation? I would've guessed interior decorator--you sure make this place seem a lot nicer.
---
0
I'm not trying to pick you up or anything because you are kind of heavy.
---
0
Will you be my sweet-ass bitch for the prom?
---
0
I'd buy my way into your heart if I thought it had a price.
---
0
What is your name? That's a nice name. It's my dog's name.
---
0
You're so beautiful you make me wish I was straight.
---
0
Your pussy is really loose, can I touch your caboose?
---
0
Do you have a tag for that rack?
---
0
Do you play softball? Because you are really soft.
---
0
I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.
---
0
If you were a steak you would be well done.
---
0
It's a good thing your ass is so fat, because it takes the attention off of your face.
---
0
Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.
---
0
If I judged you on a 1 to 10 scale, I'd give you a '9.9'. It would be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
---
0
Hello, I am God. Will you be my angel?
---
0
Are you always this hot or did you just steal the sun?
---
0
Your ex was just too stupid to not admit that there was no flower in the gardens in heaven and Earth that are as beautiful as you.
---
0
Are you Jeff's girlfriend? No? Don't you know Jeff? He told me he was dating the MOST PERFECT ANGEL IN TOWN I saw you here and assumed it was you.
---
0
Your boyfriend/girlfriend has got to be the luckiest person in the world. But, are you happy? Call me.
---
0
I am going to go downstairs later to find some hotties. Would you like to go downstairs so we could find you?
---
0
Hey Cutie. No, not you, but your body.
---
0
Hey, do you like dancing? Go over there and dance so I can talk to your friend.
---
0
It's dark in here. Wait! It's because all of the light is shining on you.
---
0
(Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.
0
0
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
0
0
Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
4
1
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
0
0
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
1
0
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
0
0
Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
0
0
Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you."
0
0
Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
0
0
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
10
7
Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
0
0
Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
12
4
Hey, I know you! You were Miss Maryland last year, weren't you?
0
0
I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
1
1(for Dick)
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
0
0
I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
41
17
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
2
0
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
0
0
I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
20
3
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
0
0
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
14
0
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
10
3
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
1
0
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
0
0
Just where do those legs of yours end?
0
0
Let's take a shower together -- you smell.
0
0
Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
34
7
So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
0
0
Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you.
20
3
Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
0
0
Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
10
3
Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
0
0
Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
10
5
Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
0
0
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
40
11
What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
King Cheese!
Some cheese
Wow! Are those real?
12
1
Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.
0
0
You are the reason men fall in love.
0
0
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
1
0
You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
3
0
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
0
0
You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice.
4
1
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
0
0
You should be someone's wife.
4
1
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
8
8...successive slaps...
You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
0
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
13
13
Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
---
---
Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night!
3
0
If you have a chance to become anything on earth what would you want to become?" [the answer] you: " well to me, I want to be your tear drop: I was born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
---
0
Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!
---
0
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
---
0
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
---
0
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
---
0
You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
---
0
Baby, you so flat you make the walls jealous.
---
0
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
---
0
I bet you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
---
0
I bet you could suck Lincoln's head off a penny.
---
0
Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
3
0
Are you wearing space pants? Cause your ass is out of this world.
---
0
Excuse me.....Hi, i'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you...
---
0
If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.
---
0
Guy: Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Girl: Why? Guy: I looked at you and dropped mine.
---
0
Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
---
0
There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because everytime I see you, you turn me on!
---
0
Damn, I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
---
0
Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special.
10
2
Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?
11
10
Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
---
0
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
---
0
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
---
0
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
---
0
If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
11
7
Presents the person with a single rose and say: "I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are."
---
0
I betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day.
6
6
If God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
---
0
You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
I hope that it would be seen as flattery.
0
You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
---
0
Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
---
0
You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
---
0
I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
---
0
Most people like to watch the (i.e. World Cup, Stanley Cup, Super Bowl, NBA playoffs, etc..) cuz it only happens once a year/every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.
---
0
Where's your paper bag? (What?) Your paper bag to put over your head. (Excuse me?) It's dangerous for someone like you to be out in public with all of these horny people around. Don't worry, I'll protect you.
---
0
When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
---
0
Has anyone ever told you that you have Scandinavian hands? (Uh, no.) No, of course not, that would be an incredibly stupid thing to say, wouldn't it?
---
0
Excuse me miss... Is your face so messed up because you fell from heaven.
---
0
Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
---
0
Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
---
0
Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
---
0
Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
---
0
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
---
0
Do you go the ocean much? 'Cause you smell like the CLAM!
---
0
Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
---
0
I'm sorry, but, have we met before? (No.) Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that it must have been your mom.
---
0
Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
---
0
You're a babe, right? Haven't you seen the film?
---
0
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
cheesy?
Quite.
Even though the ugly lights are shining bright, you still look beautiful.
---
0
There aren't enough "O"'s in the word "smooth" to describe how smooth you are.
---
0
This is incredible. This is the first time that this has ever happened to us. (What?) Each one of my 27 personalities found you cute!
---
0
If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.
---
0
Wow, you have some sweet birthin' hips.
---
0
(Walk up to them and touch them) Thank God, I thought that you were only an illusion(mirage).
---
0
If beauty were a grain of sand, you'd be a million beaches.
---
0
Is that your date, or did your brother get a new dress?
---
0
You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.
---
0
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
---
0
If it weren't for that DAMNED sun, you'd be the hottest thing ever created.
---
0
That's a nice watch [Thank you] Actually, that's a nice dress. [Again, thank you] Come to think of it, everything is nice on you.
---
0
Did the Lord steal the thunder from the skies and put them in your thighs?
---
0
Are those implants?
Is that flattery, or "flattery"?
0
Are you a bird collector? 'Cause you've got a nice set of hooters.
---
0
Excuse me, is that your perfume that you are wearing?
---
0
How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me.
---
0
I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.
---
0
(Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Person: What are you doing?!?!? You: Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. Person: WHAT?!?!? You: Well it has to be illegal to look that good!
---
0
You are a 9.9999. You'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
---
0
Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
1
1
When God made you, he was showing off.
---
0
(Bump into someone) If I knew how hot you were I would have grabbed your ass instead of bumping into you.
---
0
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
---
0
Hey, don't frown - you'll never know who might be falling in love with your smile.
---
0
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.
---
0
My ex-girlfriend used to call me Goldfinger.
---
0
If all the stars in the sky were summed, not even words that many times stronger than "beautiful" could ever be used to describe you.
---
0
You're so hot, I bet you could light a candel at 10 paces.
---
0
How much did it cost? (What?) The surgery that made you so hot!
---
0
Are you a bad load of laundry? You make my pants feel two sizes too small.
---
0
If you were a laser gun, you'd be set on stunning.
---
0
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porshe.
---
0
The drink: \$6. The room: $100. The night with you?: Priceless.
---
0
Listen to this: my buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful boy/girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
---
0
You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!
---
0
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
---
0
Have you seen my enormous jar of "Penis Reducing Cream"?
---
0
You know at this angle as the lights hit your eyes [start fixing hair] I can see myself and I look great." Then smile, and sheepishly say "just kidding."
---
0
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
---
0
You wet? I'd bet you are after looking at me.
---
0
You're so fine, I'd suck your daddy's dick just to get some of where that came from.
---
0
I can't believe I've been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye".
20
20
I had your sister last year, she sucked. Wanna defend your family honor?
---
0
Hey baby, you've got somthing on your butt: my eyes.
---
0
This isn't a beer belly, It'a a fuel tank for a love machine.
2
0 (I have no idea why...)
Are those your breasts or are they Siamese Watermelons?
---
0
I don't know you, but I think I love you already.
1
1
You look beautiful today, just like every other day.
---
0
Walk up and say, "Yes?" "What?" "Oh, my friend told me that you wanted to make out with me because I'm the finest thing you have seen all night."
---
0
Are you an interior decorator? When i saw you the room became beautiful.
---
0
You know I'd like to invite you over, but I'm afraid you're so hot you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.
---
0
Ok, quick, you go in the toilets and get me some condoms and meet me back here in five minutes... In the meantime I'll go and get you some breath mints...
---
0
You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 30.
10
5
Scientists call me a medical miracle.
---
0
[You] Here are my keys [Other] Why? [You] Here's the key to my house, my car,...and my heart.
---
0
You had better direct that beauty and femininity somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
---
0
Pardon me, I don't mean to make a pass, but you must be leavin' the country if you're packin' that much ass.
---
0
Why is it that every time you are around, my pants feel tighter?
---
0
When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
17
16
Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.
---
0
Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
---
0
Fat Penguin. WHAT? I just thought I'd say something to break the ice.
---
0
You know that I think about you only twice a day? Once when my eyes are open, and once when they are closed.
---
0
You're so flat, I don't know if you're walking forwareds or backwards.
---
0
Two words explain me when I'm not with you. Jergens Lotion.
---
0
Baby, you must be a slut because you give out more ass than a donkey dealership.
---
0
How much do you cost? I've got a dollar, how much change would I get back?
---
0
If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would chose winning the lottery...but it would be close...real close...
---
0
Is that a fox on your shoulder, or am I seeing double?
---
0
Will you be my derivative? I'll be the area under your curves.
---
0
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
---
0
Do you like pool, cause I've got the balls if you've got the rack. (or vice versa)
---
0
Damn, Sugar, settle down. I'm diabetic.
10
10
You need $20 and a friend. Give friend the $20. Walk up to target. Friend says, "You're right. Those are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." Hands you the $20 and walks away.
**DAMN, you need a friend!**
0
So last night I had the same dream over and over - always the same thing, but in a different location every time. I kept dreaming that I was asking you out, but every time before you answered, I woke up, and I'm dying to know what your answer was.
---
0
Tonight, you know you will be sitting on your bed and you will be holding your pillow close to your chest and wish it were me pressing against your chest.
---
0
From across the bare you looked a little on the heavy side, but as you got closer I noticed you were ugly too!
---
0
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
---
0
(If s/he is looking at you)You know, my mother always told me it was impolite to stare... so what do you say we dance?
8
8
Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!
---
0
See these keys? Ya like em? I wish I had the one to your heart.
---
0
Excuse me I have a problem and I wonder if you can help me? (O.K. I'll see what I can do. What is your problem?) I have every S.T.D. in the book except for one and I think you can give it to me!
---
0
Hey baby. I'm single. Do you believe that shit?
1
1
Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!
---
0
Is that shirt Camel Skin? 'Cause I'm checkin' out your humps!
---
0
You could make a glass eye cry...
---
0
I think that your attractive and simply amazing from what I've seen so far. Can I get your number and meet your personality.
---
0
All the other girls are just rough Drafts .... but i think you are the FINAL COPY!!
---
0
Are you a hands-on-learner? Because I am, and I'd like to learn about you...
---
0
Way to go God!!!
---
0
If God had a refrigerator, a picture of you would be on it.
---
0
Your voice sounds like sandpaper grated over a cheese grater.
---
0
I bet your name is Jesus, because you look like you came from heaven!
---
Wow. Sacrilegiously lame.
You don't look too bad, I'm guessing you only got hit once in the face with that sack of nickels, right?
---
0
Bitch, give me some of that disease!
---
0
You look so hot that I could cook rice on you!
---
Wow. Ethnic-insensitively lame.
You're hotter than donut grease.
---
0
You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
---
0
I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.
---
0
A thousand painters working for a thousand years could not create a beauty that equals you.
---
0
Did you know its a felony in this state to look that good, but if you turn around I'll let you off with a warning.
---
0
If you were on hotornot.com, I would give you a ten.
---
0
There are only two beautiful girls in the world, and you are both of them.
---
0
Your good looks don't intimidate me. (Walk away)
---
0
If you could put a price tag on beauty you'd be worth more than Fort Knox.
---
0
Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet bowl.
---
0
Baby, you're so hot, you make the North Pole look like the equator.
---
0
You're so hot, I'd better smother you with my body before you burst into flame!
---
0
When I grow up, i want to have a beautiful daughter. So can I ask your parents how they made you be that way?
---
0
Did you fall out of the sky? That would explain what happened to your face.
---
0
You know, they say that behind every beautiful woman there is a beautiful behind. Well, your ass is gorgeous.
---
0
(Sounding official) Excuse me, we have a problem here. You see that table over there? It has one too many chairs at it. Would you like to join me?
4
4
I must be dancing with the devil, because you're hot as hell.
---
0
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
---
0
You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!
---
0
What is your occupation? I would've guessed interior decorator--you sure make this place seem a lot nicer.
---
0
I'm not trying to pick you up or anything because you are kind of heavy.
---
0
Will you be my sweet-ass bitch for the prom?
---
0
I'd buy my way into your heart if I thought it had a price.
---
0
What is your name? That's a nice name. It's my dog's name.
---
0
You're so beautiful you make me wish I was straight.
---
0
Your pussy is really loose, can I touch your caboose?
---
0
Do you have a tag for that rack?
---
0
Do you play softball? Because you are really soft.
---
0
I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.
---
0
If you were a steak you would be well done.
---
0
It's a good thing your ass is so fat, because it takes the attention off of your face.
---
0
Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.
---
0
If I judged you on a 1 to 10 scale, I'd give you a '9.9'. It would be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
---
0
Hello, I am God. Will you be my angel?
---
0
Are you always this hot or did you just steal the sun?
---
0
Your ex was just too stupid to not admit that there was no flower in the gardens in heaven and Earth that are as beautiful as you.
---
0
Are you Jeff's girlfriend? No? Don't you know Jeff? He told me he was dating the MOST PERFECT ANGEL IN TOWN I saw you here and assumed it was you.
---
0
Your boyfriend/girlfriend has got to be the luckiest person in the world. But, are you happy? Call me.
---
0
I am going to go downstairs later to find some hotties. Would you like to go downstairs so we could find you?
---
0
Hey Cutie. No, not you, but your body.
---
0
Hey, do you like dancing? Go over there and dance so I can talk to your friend.
---
0
It's dark in here. Wait! It's because all of the light is shining on you.
---
0
Pick up Lines
Pick up Lines
What?: What do these mean?
(leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.
0
0
Are we related? Do you want to be?
0
0
Can you say Constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.
0
0
Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee. (laugh profusely)
0
0
Do you know how to use a whip?
0
0
Drop 'em!
0
0
Excuse me, do you live around here often?
0
0
Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
0
0
Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
0
0
Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?
0
0
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
0
0
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
0
0
I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...
0
0
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
0
0
I'm drunk.
0
0
I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
0
0
I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
0
0
If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.
0
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
0
0
Like the look of your crotch.
0
0
Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
0
0
Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.
0
0
Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
0
0
Say, did we go to different schools together?
0
0
That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh.
0
0
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??
0
0
Why you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across!
0
0
Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
0
0
Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
0
0
Would you like to see me naked ??
0
0
Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself?
0
0
You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?
0
0
You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
0
0
You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
0
0
You know what I like about you? My arms.
0
0
You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.
0
0
You know, my mother says you have the smoothest complexion of anyone she knows.
0
0
You look just like my mother.
0
0
You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
0
0
You remind me of a girl I used to date.
0
0
You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.
0
0
You're 'No Parking' right? Just trying to guess your sign.
0
0
Your name is Laura, huh? Can I call you Laura? Really, what time?
0
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Are my undies showing? Answer: "No." You: "Would you like them to?
1
0
I'd walk a million miles over broken glass just to meet the guy that fucked you last.
---
0
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
---
0
Excuse me , she says "Uh huh", do you have any Grey Poupon? no? well we can still get the sandwich action going on baby....
---
0
hey baby, can i feel your Ginsana? (No.) Wanna feel mine?
0
0
Do you like clocks? (Yes.) Put two hands and a face on this. (Point down)
---
0
Do you like chocolate? (Yes.) You can have my bar.
---
0
Beer is the root of all evil. Give me a beer. I'm a WICKED root!
---
0
Hey baby... you got any diseases? Want some?
---
0
I'm an iceberg on a summer's day in South Carolina.
---
0
Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!!!
---
0
Pardon me, do you mind if I push in your stool?
---
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would flip the M and W (double you).
1
1
If belly buttons were a status symbol, then baby you would be God.
---
0
Have you ever seen a tree branch? [Girl] Yes. [Guy] How about a root?
---
0
I have four words for you "Hol I Day Inn".
1
1
I am not a queen but I'll give you something royal.
0
0
Is your name Brandy? Because your the best liqueur I have ever had.
---
0
Does an elephant taking a shit make you want to fuck everything around you?
---
0
Do you want a worm-do? (Whats a worm do?) It does this..(Move your finger like a worm~~~~~~)
---
0
I'd call this puppy love but I'm not into all those new positions.
---
0
Wow, your eyebrows are thick.
---
0
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
---
0
I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
---
0
Are you an Emerson? Because those are some nice tits!
---
0
You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I can't stop ya.
5
3
Your hair is so soft. Do you use Paul Mitchell products?
---
0
You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
---
0
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
---
0
(if your name is Dan) Did you know my name backwards is "Nad"?
---
0
Hey baby, I think you made my two by four into a four by eight.
---
0
I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
---
0
Have you ever heard of the naked pretzel? Ok, sit on my magical lap and we'll see what rises!
---
0
Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
---
0
Buy me a beer, will ya hon?
---
0
You look like my mommy. I like my mommy.
---
0
What the hell are you looking at?
---
0
(go up to a table and whip it out) Charlie!! Anyone you recognize?
---
0
Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Kablaam"?
---
0
Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
---
0
Someone vacuum my lap, I think you need a clean place to sit.
---
0
Excuse me, but do you have the temperature?
---
0
I want you to have my children (pause) GREAT! They are in the car outside..
---
0
If I was hungry for crabs would you spread your legs for me?
---
0
Do you have a license for that wagon you're draggin'?
---
0
Were you staring at my crotch?
---
0
Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.
---
0
Can I impregnate you with my Demon spawn?
---
0
You can stand next to me as long as you don't talk about the heat.
---
0
Hey, you've got a lawyer's ass. Yip, it's firm.
---
0
So, are you a Skinner or a fucker?
---
0
Like Motel 6, I'll leave the light on for you.
---
0
Can I ASS you a question?
---
0
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
---
0
Bitch, you without me is like Harry Melvin without Bluenotes: You'll never go platinum.
Did that make sense?
Nope.
o you like to drink through straws?
---
0
Hi, my name is Peter. Wanna find out why?
---
0
Ever seen the movie "Fear"?
---
0
What color is your shit?
---
0
If you were the alphabet, I'd place you under "O"!
---
0
I cannot believe what a complete slut you are.
---
0
If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? (No.) Well, I don't, so let's go.
---
0
Are you an oscillating fan? 'Cause your phone is ringing.
---
0
Hey Bitches!!! Free Cociane!!
---
0
How do you know that I'm not loving you now?
---
0
Do you know that the Edmonton Oilers haven't won the Stanley Cup for a while now.
---
0
Will you be my christmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.
---
0
Your eyes remind me of diamonds, because diamonds are expensive, and so are eye replacements, and baby- you need eye replacements.
---
0
Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
---
0
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
---
Actually, not that bad...
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
---
0
Would you like to shake hands with beef?
---
0
I'm not a chef or a dancer, but I can pop cherries
A dancer?
0
I treat a bitch like seven up, I never have, I never will.
---
0
Excuse me, but why is your moose drinking my cheese?
---
0
How do you make a chicken run? Hold on, and I'll have my little brother show you.
---
0
You'd make a bishop kick out a stained-glass window.
---
0
Do you come here often or wait till you get home?
---
0
Have you ever wondered what a vaginal blood fart smelt like?(No) Cool....me neither.
---
0
Are you cold? (Yes) You want a jacket? (Sure) Well, not here, you can jack it when you get back to my room.
---
0
In Venezuela only real men have big mustaches.
Works if you've got a mustache, or not!
0
Baby I've got one- help me make it two!
---
0
Here, you take my lollypop and I'll improvise...
---
0
Hi my name is _____! Can I pee in your butt?
Be sure to use a fake name.
0
Hey sexy. I like shoelaces, bow-ties, and motorized wheelchairs. Wanna go back to my place and use all three?
---
0
If you were yogurt, would you be fruit at the bottom or stirred?
---
0
If you were the Virgin Mary, could I bless you?
---
0
Excuse me, but I think I left your sunglasses in your pocket. Mind if I check?
---
0
What's wrong with the chics in here? They just don't like gorgeous guys anymore...
---
0
If I look the way you look when you walk, I'd walk everywhere I went.
WHAT!?!
0
One day there was a bird. This was a magical bird that sang all day. It had many jolly frolicking happy prancing friends that sang songs of joy and happiness. Whenever they flew by the flowers they became happy too. Then everything died. Now doesn't that just turn you on?
---
0
If you have oral-sex with your own clone,would that be called masturbation?
2
2
So....I heard you wanted to fight me.
---
0
Are those shoes, cause that is a cool calender!
---
0
I just shit in my pants. Can I get into yours?
---
0
People say that masturbating will make you go blind, if that were true, not only would i be blind, but my seeing eyedog would have vision problems.
---
0
Hi, I was just wondering? Do you wipe front-to-back or back-to-front?
---
0
Oak tree leaves are green in the fall and your pants are red in the hall.
---
0
Are you gay? Cause if you are, I just got castrated!
---
0
Can I get you a cold banana?
---
0
Ya know, if Ivanna Trump married Neil Diamond, she'd be Ivanna Diamond. And if Ivanna Trump married Chris Rock, she'd be Ivanna Rock. If Ivanna Trump Married Tom Cruise, she'd be Ivanna Cruise.
---
0
I once knew a squirrel named Marvin. God your hot. Marvin is in Africa now.
---
0
Excuse me, are you well protected?
---
0
Hey baby, everything I'm going to do to you tonight I learned at SeaWorld.
---
0
You can't be first, but you could be next.
---
0
What's the difference between the stay puff marshmallow man and a stay-puff marshmallow? The marshmallow will fit in your vagina.
---
0
I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.
---
0
Tuesday is coming! Did you bring your coat?
---
0
Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!
101
31
So, do you like turtles?
---
0
Driving and my penis...they are both hard for you.
Huh!?!
0
You, Me, and a midget makes three.
---
0
You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can't.
---
0
Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
---
0
I've got a big nose, big hands, and really big feet. That's right, I'm a clown.
---
0
Wanna see a trick I learned in prison?
---
0
You know, its girls like you that make me wish I were a lesbian.
---
0
I wana spank you with a sack of kidney beans while you cover yourself in whip cream and let a horny duck named jeff lick it off you.
---
0
I didn't know that Miss America used to live right here.
---
0
You can touch mine if I can touch yours with mine.
---
0
I%u2019d say oral sex with your clone is masturbation. Wouldn%u2019t you? Either way, if I were you, I%u2019d fuck myself. You know, I hear we are what we eat. Want to masturbate?
---
0
I don't know if you know this, but I have a driver's license.
---
0
Given that true intellectual and emotional compatibility are at the very least difficult, if not impossible, we could always opt for the more temporal gratification of physical attraction. That wouldn't make you a shallow, would it?
---
0
You see my friend over there? Good. I thought the drugs were starting to make me hallucinate.
---
0
I make more money than you can spend.
---
0
Is this your house key? Could I have one?
---
0
If you were suddenly transported to the sun because of an evil scheme devised by an evil Russian chicken and asked to take off your clothes and make love to the burning flames and then recite the presidents in alphabetical order by their middle name while juggling 11 midgets holding soda cans between your two front teeth that will be operated on by 86 evil Czechoslovakian dentists named Farkus who got their degrees studying the taste buds of Tom Selleck at a college named after some guy who wasted away his life by eating pork grinds naked in his mom's basement while searching for pictures of Kirsten Dunst to use for purposes that cannot be explained by the 1972 Junior High class of some school that no one cares about in Eastern Idaho where woodland creatures choose to spend their lives trying to recreate some bad 1940's soap opera instead of frolicking happily in the woods, would you prefer chocolate ice cream or vanilla?
---
0
What color is your toothbrush?
---
0
I what to become a STUD. You know, you can't spell stud without STD and U.
---
0
You owe me a drink! (Why?) Why not?
---
0
You know how they say guys are full of shit, well that may be true, but I just got my colon cleaned today.
---
0
I'm hung like a tic tac. Freshen your breath?
---
0
Yesterday I wanted to take I shower. I pulled back the curtain and there was a rhinoceros and a giraffe in the tub. They were eating cheese and they said "Hi."
---
0
I have this vacuum but it seems to be be broken. Can you blow in it and see if it spits everything out?
---
0
Your boyfriend/girlfriend tells me your great in bed.
What?: What do these mean?
(leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.
0
0
Are we related? Do you want to be?
0
0
Can you say Constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.
0
0
Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee. (laugh profusely)
0
0
Do you know how to use a whip?
0
0
Drop 'em!
0
0
Excuse me, do you live around here often?
0
0
Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
0
0
Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
0
0
Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?
0
0
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
0
0
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
0
0
I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...
0
0
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
0
0
I'm drunk.
0
0
I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
0
0
I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
0
0
If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.
0
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
0
0
Like the look of your crotch.
0
0
Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
0
0
Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.
0
0
Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
0
0
Say, did we go to different schools together?
0
0
That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh.
0
0
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??
0
0
Why you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across!
0
0
Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
0
0
Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
0
0
Would you like to see me naked ??
0
0
Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself?
0
0
You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?
0
0
You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
0
0
You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
0
0
You know what I like about you? My arms.
0
0
You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.
0
0
You know, my mother says you have the smoothest complexion of anyone she knows.
0
0
You look just like my mother.
0
0
You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
0
0
You remind me of a girl I used to date.
0
0
You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.
0
0
You're 'No Parking' right? Just trying to guess your sign.
0
0
Your name is Laura, huh? Can I call you Laura? Really, what time?
0
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Are my undies showing? Answer: "No." You: "Would you like them to?
1
0
I'd walk a million miles over broken glass just to meet the guy that fucked you last.
---
0
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
---
0
Excuse me , she says "Uh huh", do you have any Grey Poupon? no? well we can still get the sandwich action going on baby....
---
0
hey baby, can i feel your Ginsana? (No.) Wanna feel mine?
0
0
Do you like clocks? (Yes.) Put two hands and a face on this. (Point down)
---
0
Do you like chocolate? (Yes.) You can have my bar.
---
0
Beer is the root of all evil. Give me a beer. I'm a WICKED root!
---
0
Hey baby... you got any diseases? Want some?
---
0
I'm an iceberg on a summer's day in South Carolina.
---
0
Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!!!
---
0
Pardon me, do you mind if I push in your stool?
---
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would flip the M and W (double you).
1
1
If belly buttons were a status symbol, then baby you would be God.
---
0
Have you ever seen a tree branch? [Girl] Yes. [Guy] How about a root?
---
0
I have four words for you "Hol I Day Inn".
1
1
I am not a queen but I'll give you something royal.
0
0
Is your name Brandy? Because your the best liqueur I have ever had.
---
0
Does an elephant taking a shit make you want to fuck everything around you?
---
0
Do you want a worm-do? (Whats a worm do?) It does this..(Move your finger like a worm~~~~~~)
---
0
I'd call this puppy love but I'm not into all those new positions.
---
0
Wow, your eyebrows are thick.
---
0
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
---
0
I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
---
0
Are you an Emerson? Because those are some nice tits!
---
0
You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I can't stop ya.
5
3
Your hair is so soft. Do you use Paul Mitchell products?
---
0
You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
---
0
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
---
0
(if your name is Dan) Did you know my name backwards is "Nad"?
---
0
Hey baby, I think you made my two by four into a four by eight.
---
0
I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
---
0
Have you ever heard of the naked pretzel? Ok, sit on my magical lap and we'll see what rises!
---
0
Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
---
0
Buy me a beer, will ya hon?
---
0
You look like my mommy. I like my mommy.
---
0
What the hell are you looking at?
---
0
(go up to a table and whip it out) Charlie!! Anyone you recognize?
---
0
Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Kablaam"?
---
0
Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
---
0
Someone vacuum my lap, I think you need a clean place to sit.
---
0
Excuse me, but do you have the temperature?
---
0
I want you to have my children (pause) GREAT! They are in the car outside..
---
0
If I was hungry for crabs would you spread your legs for me?
---
0
Do you have a license for that wagon you're draggin'?
---
0
Were you staring at my crotch?
---
0
Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.
---
0
Can I impregnate you with my Demon spawn?
---
0
You can stand next to me as long as you don't talk about the heat.
---
0
Hey, you've got a lawyer's ass. Yip, it's firm.
---
0
So, are you a Skinner or a fucker?
---
0
Like Motel 6, I'll leave the light on for you.
---
0
Can I ASS you a question?
---
0
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
---
0
Bitch, you without me is like Harry Melvin without Bluenotes: You'll never go platinum.
Did that make sense?
Nope.
o you like to drink through straws?
---
0
Hi, my name is Peter. Wanna find out why?
---
0
Ever seen the movie "Fear"?
---
0
What color is your shit?
---
0
If you were the alphabet, I'd place you under "O"!
---
0
I cannot believe what a complete slut you are.
---
0
If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? (No.) Well, I don't, so let's go.
---
0
Are you an oscillating fan? 'Cause your phone is ringing.
---
0
Hey Bitches!!! Free Cociane!!
---
0
How do you know that I'm not loving you now?
---
0
Do you know that the Edmonton Oilers haven't won the Stanley Cup for a while now.
---
0
Will you be my christmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.
---
0
Your eyes remind me of diamonds, because diamonds are expensive, and so are eye replacements, and baby- you need eye replacements.
---
0
Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
---
0
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
---
Actually, not that bad...
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
---
0
Would you like to shake hands with beef?
---
0
I'm not a chef or a dancer, but I can pop cherries
A dancer?
0
I treat a bitch like seven up, I never have, I never will.
---
0
Excuse me, but why is your moose drinking my cheese?
---
0
How do you make a chicken run? Hold on, and I'll have my little brother show you.
---
0
You'd make a bishop kick out a stained-glass window.
---
0
Do you come here often or wait till you get home?
---
0
Have you ever wondered what a vaginal blood fart smelt like?(No) Cool....me neither.
---
0
Are you cold? (Yes) You want a jacket? (Sure) Well, not here, you can jack it when you get back to my room.
---
0
In Venezuela only real men have big mustaches.
Works if you've got a mustache, or not!
0
Baby I've got one- help me make it two!
---
0
Here, you take my lollypop and I'll improvise...
---
0
Hi my name is _____! Can I pee in your butt?
Be sure to use a fake name.
0
Hey sexy. I like shoelaces, bow-ties, and motorized wheelchairs. Wanna go back to my place and use all three?
---
0
If you were yogurt, would you be fruit at the bottom or stirred?
---
0
If you were the Virgin Mary, could I bless you?
---
0
Excuse me, but I think I left your sunglasses in your pocket. Mind if I check?
---
0
What's wrong with the chics in here? They just don't like gorgeous guys anymore...
---
0
If I look the way you look when you walk, I'd walk everywhere I went.
WHAT!?!
0
One day there was a bird. This was a magical bird that sang all day. It had many jolly frolicking happy prancing friends that sang songs of joy and happiness. Whenever they flew by the flowers they became happy too. Then everything died. Now doesn't that just turn you on?
---
0
If you have oral-sex with your own clone,would that be called masturbation?
2
2
So....I heard you wanted to fight me.
---
0
Are those shoes, cause that is a cool calender!
---
0
I just shit in my pants. Can I get into yours?
---
0
People say that masturbating will make you go blind, if that were true, not only would i be blind, but my seeing eyedog would have vision problems.
---
0
Hi, I was just wondering? Do you wipe front-to-back or back-to-front?
---
0
Oak tree leaves are green in the fall and your pants are red in the hall.
---
0
Are you gay? Cause if you are, I just got castrated!
---
0
Can I get you a cold banana?
---
0
Ya know, if Ivanna Trump married Neil Diamond, she'd be Ivanna Diamond. And if Ivanna Trump married Chris Rock, she'd be Ivanna Rock. If Ivanna Trump Married Tom Cruise, she'd be Ivanna Cruise.
---
0
I once knew a squirrel named Marvin. God your hot. Marvin is in Africa now.
---
0
Excuse me, are you well protected?
---
0
Hey baby, everything I'm going to do to you tonight I learned at SeaWorld.
---
0
You can't be first, but you could be next.
---
0
What's the difference between the stay puff marshmallow man and a stay-puff marshmallow? The marshmallow will fit in your vagina.
---
0
I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.
---
0
Tuesday is coming! Did you bring your coat?
---
0
Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!
101
31
So, do you like turtles?
---
0
Driving and my penis...they are both hard for you.
Huh!?!
0
You, Me, and a midget makes three.
---
0
You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can't.
---
0
Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
---
0
I've got a big nose, big hands, and really big feet. That's right, I'm a clown.
---
0
Wanna see a trick I learned in prison?
---
0
You know, its girls like you that make me wish I were a lesbian.
---
0
I wana spank you with a sack of kidney beans while you cover yourself in whip cream and let a horny duck named jeff lick it off you.
---
0
I didn't know that Miss America used to live right here.
---
0
You can touch mine if I can touch yours with mine.
---
0
I%u2019d say oral sex with your clone is masturbation. Wouldn%u2019t you? Either way, if I were you, I%u2019d fuck myself. You know, I hear we are what we eat. Want to masturbate?
---
0
I don't know if you know this, but I have a driver's license.
---
0
Given that true intellectual and emotional compatibility are at the very least difficult, if not impossible, we could always opt for the more temporal gratification of physical attraction. That wouldn't make you a shallow, would it?
---
0
You see my friend over there? Good. I thought the drugs were starting to make me hallucinate.
---
0
I make more money than you can spend.
---
0
Is this your house key? Could I have one?
---
0
If you were suddenly transported to the sun because of an evil scheme devised by an evil Russian chicken and asked to take off your clothes and make love to the burning flames and then recite the presidents in alphabetical order by their middle name while juggling 11 midgets holding soda cans between your two front teeth that will be operated on by 86 evil Czechoslovakian dentists named Farkus who got their degrees studying the taste buds of Tom Selleck at a college named after some guy who wasted away his life by eating pork grinds naked in his mom's basement while searching for pictures of Kirsten Dunst to use for purposes that cannot be explained by the 1972 Junior High class of some school that no one cares about in Eastern Idaho where woodland creatures choose to spend their lives trying to recreate some bad 1940's soap opera instead of frolicking happily in the woods, would you prefer chocolate ice cream or vanilla?
---
0
What color is your toothbrush?
---
0
I what to become a STUD. You know, you can't spell stud without STD and U.
---
0
You owe me a drink! (Why?) Why not?
---
0
You know how they say guys are full of shit, well that may be true, but I just got my colon cleaned today.
---
0
I'm hung like a tic tac. Freshen your breath?
---
0
Yesterday I wanted to take I shower. I pulled back the curtain and there was a rhinoceros and a giraffe in the tub. They were eating cheese and they said "Hi."
---
0
I have this vacuum but it seems to be be broken. Can you blow in it and see if it spits everything out?
---
0
Your boyfriend/girlfriend tells me your great in bed.
Labels:
pick up lines
Pick up Lines
(With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
3
0
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
23
4
Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
7
0
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
0
0
Are you O.K.? Because heaven is a long fall from here.
2
0
(As s/he is leaving) Hey aren't you forgetting something? S/he: What? Me!
3
0
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
3
0
Bond. James Bond.
41
40 (Lost. Get Lost.)
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
0
0
Did it hurt? S/he: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?
3
1
Do you come here often?
0
0
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
7
1
Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we're together.
0
0
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
Once too many
0
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
1
0
Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
1
0
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
10
-10
How was heaven when you left it?
0
0
I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
20
5
I have only three months to live. ..
27
14
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
3
0
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
0
0
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
0
0
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? (No.) Well then, please start.
7
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
0
0
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
1
1
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
0
0
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
5
1
My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
0
0
So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the man/woman of my dreams!
2
0
Stand still so I can pick you up!
0
0
Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!
0
0
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
3
0
What was that sound? It was the sound of my heart breaking.
2
0
What's a nice boy/girl like you doing in a place like this?
0
0
What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle.
2
0
What's your favorite position on extramarital sex?
0
0
What's your sign?
3120
314
Where have you been all my life?
4
0
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
0
0
Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
6
0
Wow.
100
30(It's just so simple...)
You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.
7
0
You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
0
0
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.
0
0
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
3
0
[Grab the ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
0
0
Can I have directions? (To where?) To your heart.
6
0
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
4
1
[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"
30
30
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
---
---
Ask a person for the time. "10:30? So today is June 2, 2006, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."
1
0
"Pinch me." "Why?" "You're so fine I must be dreaming."
1
0
Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
---
God, I hope this number is "0".
Your daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!
---
0
Your daddy must be an archer because he sure shot a bulls eye!
0
0
Your daddy must play the trumpet, because he sure made me horny!
0
0
Ouch! My tooth hurts! (Why?) Because you are soooo sweet!
0
0
You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
0
0
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
0
0
Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
0
0
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
0
0
Hi. I would like to award you the {Whatever beer we were drinking} award for looking so good. Now if you will give me your name, number and other vital statistics, I would like to enter you in our grand prize drawing for an all-expenses paid date with me.
2
1
You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
0
0
Is your dad a terrorists? Because you are the bomb.
0
0
Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
0
0
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
0
0
Say, you remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You are cool because you're hot!
1
1
If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.
0
0
Baby, you are the finest thing in the world. I could put you on a place and sop you up with a biscuit.
0
0
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
0
0
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
0
0
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
0
0
Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
0
0
You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
0
0
It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? (Is it really your birthday?) No, but how about a kiss anyway?
5
5
What is the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?"
0
0
If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
0
0
(after the target walks in) And out of nowhere comes the sunshine!!
0
0
When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
0
0
I'm good at math. U I=69
0
0
If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
0
0
Hi. Your name must be (your car here) because my backseat has it written all over.
0
0
Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage?
0
0
I'm wearing Revlon colorstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off?
0
0
Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that its a really big river, and the bunny on this side (doesn't matter) really needs to get to the other side. Ask how he does it. Give cute little answers as to why the bunny can't cross the river (i.e., ...bunny jump in river, bunny goes *glubglubglub*.) When the person finally asks how the bunny is supposed to get across, give them the cute puppy eyes and say "I don't know, I just wanted to hold your hand."
0
0
Mars? This is the advanced recon unit. Good news, I've found a couple of foxes.
0
0
Damn! Somebody needs to write explosive on you, because you are the bomb!
0
0
Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
1
1
Do you remember Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color...Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes...Blizzard Blue.
0
0
Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?
0
0
Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?
0
0
Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
0
0
Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
0
0
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
0
0
I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
0
0
(stand next to the target) Hey do you think you could ask this person to give me his/her name and number? (Depends on who it is) Okay but keep it quiet because s/he is standing right next to me.
0
0
Hi, my name is Chris. I'm funny, financially stable, and have a very interesting DNA structure.
0
0
Can I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
0
0
(Open and close wallet quickly) Here's my "Fine Arts Connoisseur" diploma. You sure are a masterpiece.
0
0
Let's make like a fabric softener and Snuggle(TM)
0
0
(while looking at stars) I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.
1
1
If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]." How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful boy/girl named that?"
---
---
See this pin? I want to prick you with it to see if you truly do bleed sunshine.
1
1 (ouch!)
You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way
Only in the corporate world...
---
[Pretend to read your hand, do so quite poorly] What is a nice person like you doing in a place like this? (Huh?) [Lower left hand and raise right, read poorly] What's your sign?
---
---
Hi. My name is {name}. I'm running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here...write down your number and I'll call you to discuss my platform.
---
---
If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.
---
---
Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?
---
---
Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you, my dear, have left one great leap on mine!
---
---
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
---
---
Do you have a BandAid? I just scrapped my knee falling for you.
---
---
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
---
---
What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too!
---
---
Giant polar bear (What?) It broke the ice.
---
---
(Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
---
---
Excuse me, does this tequila taste funny? (Hand them an untouched shot)
2
2
So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) Because I'm gonna ask you out.
---
---
Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? (NO!) Damn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
---
---
(Talk to her)Did i ever tell you you are my hero? You're everything I wish I could be? (Start Singing) I can fly higher than an eagle! (talking) Because (the person's name) you are the wind beneith my wings.
3
1
(close hand with nothing inside and give it to the target) It's my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this)
---
---
Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
---
---
Speak of the devil....or should I say "Angel"?
---
---
When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
---
---
I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!
---
---
I believe that it was Socrates who opined, "Know thyself." Whelp, I already know myself, how about I get to know you?
---
---
I put a drop of tear in the ocean last night for you. And I won't stop loving you until you find that tear drop.
6
Still lookin'
Hey, where did your smile go? (Check back pocket) Here it is!
---
---
(Get as close as you can to the other, then stare at his/her lips) Can you feel it? There is some kinda sexual attraction. Can you feel it, too?
10
7
Hey baby. You got a jersey? (A jersey?...What for?) Because I need your name and number
---
---
Hi, I'm astronomer and I've been sent by the department to examine a heavenly body named XGY8... 6... 9'er... Er, wait. That heavenly body is you!
---
---
You be the biscuits and I'll be the gravy, let us do breakfast sometime.
7
4
When you walk into a room, who looks at you first, guys or girls? (Answer) After seeing pictures of you, I would have thought more guys (girls) would want to talk to you.
---
---
My lips are skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?
---
---
Please do not be alarmed if a big man wearing a red suit picks you up and throws you into a bag. (Why?) Because I asked for you for Christmas.
---
---
You must be a magnet, because it looks like you are attracted to my buns of steel.
---
---
Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?
---
---
(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
---
---
I was looking at a light bulb today and it made me think of you and how you light up my world.
---
---
You know, we have actually met before. Remember the dream you had of the perfect guy? I was the guy standing to his right.
---
---
Is your name David? I want to be Goliath and fall for you.
---
---
This time next year let%u2019s be laughing together.
---
---
Clarinets are wood and trumpets are horny, but a trombone can do it in 7 positions.
---
---
Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my ass? A damn little kid with wings shot me.
3
0
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
23
4
Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
7
0
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
0
0
Are you O.K.? Because heaven is a long fall from here.
2
0
(As s/he is leaving) Hey aren't you forgetting something? S/he: What? Me!
3
0
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
3
0
Bond. James Bond.
41
40 (Lost. Get Lost.)
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
0
0
Did it hurt? S/he: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?
3
1
Do you come here often?
0
0
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
7
1
Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we're together.
0
0
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
Once too many
0
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
1
0
Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
1
0
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
10
-10
How was heaven when you left it?
0
0
I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
20
5
I have only three months to live. ..
27
14
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
3
0
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
0
0
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
0
0
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? (No.) Well then, please start.
7
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
0
0
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
1
1
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
0
0
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
5
1
My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
0
0
So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the man/woman of my dreams!
2
0
Stand still so I can pick you up!
0
0
Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!
0
0
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
3
0
What was that sound? It was the sound of my heart breaking.
2
0
What's a nice boy/girl like you doing in a place like this?
0
0
What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle.
2
0
What's your favorite position on extramarital sex?
0
0
What's your sign?
3120
314
Where have you been all my life?
4
0
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
0
0
Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
6
0
Wow.
100
30(It's just so simple...)
You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.
7
0
You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
0
0
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.
0
0
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
3
0
[Grab the ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
0
0
Can I have directions? (To where?) To your heart.
6
0
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
4
1
[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"
30
30
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
---
---
Ask a person for the time. "10:30? So today is June 2, 2006, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."
1
0
"Pinch me." "Why?" "You're so fine I must be dreaming."
1
0
Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
---
God, I hope this number is "0".
Your daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!
---
0
Your daddy must be an archer because he sure shot a bulls eye!
0
0
Your daddy must play the trumpet, because he sure made me horny!
0
0
Ouch! My tooth hurts! (Why?) Because you are soooo sweet!
0
0
You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
0
0
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
0
0
Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
0
0
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
0
0
Hi. I would like to award you the {Whatever beer we were drinking} award for looking so good. Now if you will give me your name, number and other vital statistics, I would like to enter you in our grand prize drawing for an all-expenses paid date with me.
2
1
You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
0
0
Is your dad a terrorists? Because you are the bomb.
0
0
Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
0
0
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
0
0
Say, you remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You are cool because you're hot!
1
1
If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.
0
0
Baby, you are the finest thing in the world. I could put you on a place and sop you up with a biscuit.
0
0
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
0
0
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
0
0
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
0
0
Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
0
0
You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
0
0
It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? (Is it really your birthday?) No, but how about a kiss anyway?
5
5
What is the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?"
0
0
If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
0
0
(after the target walks in) And out of nowhere comes the sunshine!!
0
0
When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
0
0
I'm good at math. U I=69
0
0
If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
0
0
Hi. Your name must be (your car here) because my backseat has it written all over.
0
0
Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage?
0
0
I'm wearing Revlon colorstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off?
0
0
Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that its a really big river, and the bunny on this side (doesn't matter) really needs to get to the other side. Ask how he does it. Give cute little answers as to why the bunny can't cross the river (i.e., ...bunny jump in river, bunny goes *glubglubglub*.) When the person finally asks how the bunny is supposed to get across, give them the cute puppy eyes and say "I don't know, I just wanted to hold your hand."
0
0
Mars? This is the advanced recon unit. Good news, I've found a couple of foxes.
0
0
Damn! Somebody needs to write explosive on you, because you are the bomb!
0
0
Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
1
1
Do you remember Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color...Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes...Blizzard Blue.
0
0
Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?
0
0
Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?
0
0
Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
0
0
Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
0
0
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
0
0
I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
0
0
(stand next to the target) Hey do you think you could ask this person to give me his/her name and number? (Depends on who it is) Okay but keep it quiet because s/he is standing right next to me.
0
0
Hi, my name is Chris. I'm funny, financially stable, and have a very interesting DNA structure.
0
0
Can I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
0
0
(Open and close wallet quickly) Here's my "Fine Arts Connoisseur" diploma. You sure are a masterpiece.
0
0
Let's make like a fabric softener and Snuggle(TM)
0
0
(while looking at stars) I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.
1
1
If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]." How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful boy/girl named that?"
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See this pin? I want to prick you with it to see if you truly do bleed sunshine.
1
1 (ouch!)
You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way
Only in the corporate world...
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[Pretend to read your hand, do so quite poorly] What is a nice person like you doing in a place like this? (Huh?) [Lower left hand and raise right, read poorly] What's your sign?
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Hi. My name is {name}. I'm running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here...write down your number and I'll call you to discuss my platform.
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If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.
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Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?
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Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you, my dear, have left one great leap on mine!
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Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
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Do you have a BandAid? I just scrapped my knee falling for you.
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I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
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What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too!
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Giant polar bear (What?) It broke the ice.
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(Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
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Excuse me, does this tequila taste funny? (Hand them an untouched shot)
2
2
So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) Because I'm gonna ask you out.
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Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? (NO!) Damn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
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(Talk to her)Did i ever tell you you are my hero? You're everything I wish I could be? (Start Singing) I can fly higher than an eagle! (talking) Because (the person's name) you are the wind beneith my wings.
3
1
(close hand with nothing inside and give it to the target) It's my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this)
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Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
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Speak of the devil....or should I say "Angel"?
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When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
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I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!
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I believe that it was Socrates who opined, "Know thyself." Whelp, I already know myself, how about I get to know you?
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I put a drop of tear in the ocean last night for you. And I won't stop loving you until you find that tear drop.
6
Still lookin'
Hey, where did your smile go? (Check back pocket) Here it is!
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(Get as close as you can to the other, then stare at his/her lips) Can you feel it? There is some kinda sexual attraction. Can you feel it, too?
10
7
Hey baby. You got a jersey? (A jersey?...What for?) Because I need your name and number
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Hi, I'm astronomer and I've been sent by the department to examine a heavenly body named XGY8... 6... 9'er... Er, wait. That heavenly body is you!
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You be the biscuits and I'll be the gravy, let us do breakfast sometime.
7
4
When you walk into a room, who looks at you first, guys or girls? (Answer) After seeing pictures of you, I would have thought more guys (girls) would want to talk to you.
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My lips are skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?
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Please do not be alarmed if a big man wearing a red suit picks you up and throws you into a bag. (Why?) Because I asked for you for Christmas.
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You must be a magnet, because it looks like you are attracted to my buns of steel.
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---
Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?
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---
(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
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---
I was looking at a light bulb today and it made me think of you and how you light up my world.
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You know, we have actually met before. Remember the dream you had of the perfect guy? I was the guy standing to his right.
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Is your name David? I want to be Goliath and fall for you.
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This time next year let%u2019s be laughing together.
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---
Clarinets are wood and trumpets are horny, but a trombone can do it in 7 positions.
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Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my ass? A damn little kid with wings shot me.
Labels:
pick up lines
Great Pick up Lines
Hey baby...mind if I take my pants off?
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I love you, you know.
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Hey, kitten. How about spending some of your nine lives with me?
0
0
If I let you suck on my tongue, would you be grateful?
5
2
Have you ever played "Spank the brunette"? Want to try?
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0
Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
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0
Do you like whales? Well I have a hump-back at my place.
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0
You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a hole filed of you!
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0
You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
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0
Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.
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0
I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.
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0
Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
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0
Hi. Can I domesticate you?
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0
Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
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0
Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
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0
If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.
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0
Your belt looks extremely tight. Let me loosen it for you.
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0
Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
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0
"Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" (What?) "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight."
5
3
I've been a bad boy/girl, so spank me!
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0
Do you mind if I hangout on your stomach for a half an hour or so?
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0
I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
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0
Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
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0
"So, did you here the one about the guy and the girl who had the most sexual relationship?" ("No.") "Well then, let's go to my place and I'll tell you all about it."
6
4
Excuse me, do you have any Benedryl? No why? Because everytime I look at you I have swelling "down there"
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0
Let us let only latex stand between our love.
25
0
(Walk up to the target and lick two fingers and place them near her crotch. Then place the fingers back in your mouth and say . . . ) I know you!
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0
Do you see why they call me tri-pod?
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0
Um...I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?
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0
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
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0
If you had some nuts on the wall, couldn't they be called walnuts? (Yes). If you had some nuts on your chest, could they be called chestnuts? (Yes) If you had some nuts on your chin, could they be chinnuts? (Yes.) Hell no, you'd have a dick in your mouth.
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0
Do you like chips? Because if you are "Frito Lay" than I am a barrel of fun!
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0
I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
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0
Come over here and get a taste of America's Most Wanted.
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0
Hi. My name is Laura. I'll be your playtoy tonight.
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0
Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6-inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?
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0
You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
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0
Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?
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0
How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?
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0
Let us pretend my pants are France and invade them.
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0
Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!
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0
I would like to herd my cattle in your fertile valley.
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0
Hi. I'm a dog and I need to bury my bone.
14
0
Lets skip all the bullshit, lose our inhibitions, and DO what we really came here to do.
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0
You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
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0
Do you live on a chicken farm? (No.) You sure know how to raise cocks
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0
Excuse me, but you have a "dick for" on your head. (What's a "dick for"?) I'll show you.
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0
Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
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0
Hi, sorry I don't have an opening line but since you have an opening and I have a line. . .
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0
How about we make like Winnie-the-poo and I get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
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0
Do you wanna box? (Yes.) Well, get on your hands and knees and give me two blows to the head.
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0
Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose. Take off your clothes.
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0
Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
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0
What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name. (Editor's note [if you couldn't figure it out]: switch if a girl is picking up a boy)
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0
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
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0
If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
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0
(wiping your face), Oh I'm sorry, (wiping your face), let me clear a place for you to sit!
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0
Hey I see you are wearing clothes. I'm wearing clothes. Did you know we have something in common? We should get together and do something sometime.
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0
Is your boyfriend/girlfriend here? Is s/he on the roof? (No.) Then let's go to the roof!
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0
Wanna play "kite"? I lay down, you blow and we'll see how high you can make me.
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0
My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling. . .
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0
I'm easy, but it looks like you are hard.
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0
Do you have room in your life for another friend?
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0
Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?
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0
Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
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0
Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
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0
Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I'm here after.
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0
If I were to borrow your glasses, could I see you home?
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0
Could you tell me where they keep the rutabagas? Oh, thanks. Oh, by the way, what is a rutabaga?
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0
I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
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0
I wanna take out your pencil and stick it in my pencil case.
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0
I wanna take out your golf clubs and score a HOLE in 1.
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0
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until the afternoon.
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0
Hi. I'm horny.
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0
Excuse me, but you've got a Wild Blocost on your shoulder! (What's a Wild Blocost?) How much do ya got?
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0
You know, I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
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0
You look like my type: Nice hair, beautiful eyes, amazing body, but there is still just one problem: your clothing. (What's wrong with my clothing?) They're still on.
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0
(Look down at the crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
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0
So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
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0
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
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0
I have not had sex in three years. No matter what you did, kiss me all over, dance for me, or wear provocative outfits, I would not give in. Want to test me?
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0
Hi. I'm like a tropical island: hot, wet, and waiting for tourists.
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0
Are you cold? Let me be your electric blacket. Just plug me in and I'll make you feel nice and toasty inside and out.
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0
(Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?
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0
Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
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0
Champaine can be tickly, and so can I.
5
4
You know how your hair would look really good? [No.] In my lap.
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0
If I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?
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0
Do you remember me from the other night? Probably not, because we really hit it off.
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0
Do you believe in Santa Claus? Do you think that if I am good this year, he'll put you in my stocking this year?
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0
You know what they say about guys with big hands. (What?) Big latex.
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0
How can I love you if you won't lay down?
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0
(What are you doing?) I'm taking off my shoes. (Why?) So I can take off my pants.
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0
If I were the king, and you were the queen, in the cosmic game of chess, would you mate with me?
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0
My cat has lovely fur. Can I see yours?
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0
You know how I am with dicks? I suck at it.
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0
Do you like anyone else in here? Well, I guess you are stuck with me.
1
1
If you were a duck and I were a moose, and we had sex, we'd make a duckmoose, and it would sound like this: [make the wierdest sound you can].
16
1
You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.
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0
What do you think of Bill Clinton? (Answer...) Yeah, me too, but I try not to follow that stuff regarding Bill, Hilliary, or Monica. Want a cigar?
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0
Damn, I know you are not on four legs, but you look faster than a cheetah.
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0
You're on my list of things to do tonight.
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0
If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
8
3
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now." Put ear to watch. "It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh..." Tap watch a few times. "That's the problem... my watch is an hour fast!"
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0
Do you want to go swimming? Damn, there isn't a pool around... But my sheets are blue?
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0
Hi, I'm the reincarnated soul of Tai-Pong, once a starved, naked Buddhist monk. All that isolation is getting to me. Want to get down on your knees and pray?
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0
Come on. We're leaving.
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0
The name is Reese, and you're lookin like someone that would suck on my piece.
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0
(Holding your nuts) Do you want "2 CDs" (see these) for a dollar?
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0
Does God know you've escaped from Heaven? Here, come with me to my place. You can stay there until he calls looking for you.
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0
Look at my lips and your lips. They want to massage each other.
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0
Have you ever seen Buttman's Between the Cheeks?" No, well let me demonstrate.
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0
Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!
(Works great for white guys)
0
What's your name? That's a beautiful name. Can I ask you one single, impulsive question? Are you in love at the present moment? I'm not the type of person to impede on another person's happiness but if the answer is "No," I'd like to continue with my rhapsody. Has anybody ever told you that you glide? (What?) It's a very special quality, every other girl/boy in this place merely plods along but you glide, girls who glide need guys who make them "thump." (What's thump?) You think about him, you can't eat, you can't sleep, you watch the phone waiting for it to ring. Girls who glide need guys who make them "thump," I can make you "thump." Have dinner with me.
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0
I know I can't have your cherry, but can I get the box it came in?
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0
If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
---
0
Hello, can I offer you eight inches of strength and sensitivity?
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0
Are you anorexic? Oh, OK, then I'll understand if you spit.
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0
Do you have a can opener? My dick is about to pop.
---
0
Do you work at Subway? Because you just have me a footlong.
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0
Do you want to see the soles of your feet in the wing mirrors in my car?
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0
I wanna take my extention cord and stick it all the way into your electrical outlet.
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0
You have beautiful hair. But it could be better. (How?) If it were spread over my pillow.
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0
Wanna feed my beaver some wood?
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0
Hello, I may have just met you but I feel like I have known you all my life and I love you. What hotel room should I reserve?
5
5
Hi, do you dissect insects for scientific research? (No, why?) I thought you might want to look inside my fly.
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0
Roses are Red; Apples are Sour; I'll Spread my legs; and you can show me your "power."
---
0
I'm sterile.
9
2
I'll make you shiver when I deliver.
---
0
Hello, well-formed Homo-sapien specimen. Would you care to depart with me towards my domiciliary residence and observe a documentary of the ontogenesis of another Homo-sapien individual just prior to fertilization?
---
0
Want to get down with me like four flat tires?
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0
Did I mention that I'm the only person in the Guinness Book of World's Records actually able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
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0
If you were camping and woke up with a used condom inside you, would you tell anyone? (No.) Want to go Camping?
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0
Let's have a party in your shoes, and then invite your pants.
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0
I'm hungry and I'm on a liquid diet.
10
5
I can play the 1812 Overture on a touchtone phone with my tongue.
3
1
Hey. Do you have that Hawiian Disease? What? "Comeoniwannalayya".
---
0
I'm like chocolate: I go straight to your ass!
---
0
I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
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0
Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let's go to my room and put our pieces together.
---
0
You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?
---
0
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
---
0
What is long and hard, and right behind you?
---
0
You remind me of a Twinky: Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth."
Ouch.
0
If I were to send you flowers... No wait, let me rephrase: If I were to let you suck on my tongue, would you be grateful?
---
0
I'll bet you $10 my dick can't fit into your mouth.
---
0
Baby, I would do more things to you than MacGyver in a "Do-It-Yourself Shop".
---
0
I'm gonna have sex tonight!!! I'm gonna have sex tonight!!! (With whom?) Depends: What are you doing tonight at around 1?
5
4
I'm like Domino's Pizza: if you don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
---
0
Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
---
0
I'm a vegetarian but I'd make an exception for your meat!
---
0
Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
---
0
Did you know that Rock and Roll was originally an African American euphimism for sex?" (creepy leering look)
---
0
Do you think a relationship between you and I would be all sex, or do you think that there would be some depth to it?
---
0
Puffs can guarantee a good blow. Can you?
---
0
Hey, do you exercise? Can I be your thighmaster?
---
0
I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?
---
0
Have you ever been hunting before? (No.) Well, then how about you come up to my cabin with me this weekend and I can teach you how to stuff a beaver.
---
0
I hear there's a major problem with deforestation in the world today. Why don't we put together your chest and my nuts, and help save the world?
---
0
This condem (holding in hand) has your name written on it.
---
0
Save a horse, Ride a cowboy.
---
0
My vagina is a garden, want to shovel me out?
---
0
Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?
---
0
Excuse me, but I've been over by the bar running some numbers, and I believe that through combining our genes, we could create a faster, stronger, smarter super-soldier for our country. Now, there remains only one way to actually create this super-soldier, but in this time of national emergency, we have all been called upon to exert ourselves to new heights. Therefore, not for me, but for America, the cause of freedom calls upon you to go home with me tonight.
---
0
Like the hurricane said to the coconut tree; hold on to your nuts I'm gonna give you the blow of your life.
---
0
You should join the circus.(Why?) So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
---
0
(Blow a kiss and miss on purpose) Oops, I guess I missed, wanna try again, but a little closer?
---
0
Who wants a mustache ride?
---
0
My name is Haywood. Haywood Jablome.
---
0
Are you a horse? (No.) Can I ride you anyway?
---
0
Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
---
0
You know, I do sleep well with others...
---
0
Hi, my name is Laura. I don't have a gag reflex.
---
0
Can I add a branch to your family tree?
---
0
Wanna lift? Your dick and my spirits.
---
0
Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to.
36
36
What time do you get off? Can I watch?
---
0
Been to India? I'll get India (in to you).
---
0
Do you know anything about real estate? (Grab crotch or breasts) I was just wondering if you could tell me if this is a lot.
---
0
I'm on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
---
0
Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
---
0
Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me? See,I'm trying to find someone. (Who?) Any girl/guy who'll sleep with me.
---
0
I have a job for you.... but it blows...
---
0
Aren't you the girl/guy who is having sex with that really good looking guy/girl? (No.) Want to be?
---
0
Once you are finished fucking the 10-inchers, come back to me.
---
0
My clit ring got stuck. Can you open it with your teeth?
---
0
You should stop drinking! (Why?) Because you are driving me home.
---
0
Are you a god? (Um, no.) You're not? Then why do I want to kneel before you?
10
10
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
---
0
Are your knees dirty? I don't want to get my floor dirty.
---
0
I just got this tan in Hawai'i. Why don't you call me when you want some of this tan to rub off on you.
lots
Still waiting for a call...
OH GOD! OH GOD! Just practicing.
---
0
Hi. I just need you to know that you can't get pregnant from anal sex.
---
0
Trust me. It will only seem kinky the first time.
---
0
You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?
---
0
In another life I think we dated and I dumped you. But I'm thinking that that was a mistake. Now is your second chance!
---
0
Excuse me, I'm putting together a list of people with whom I want to have sex, and I'll need the correct spelling of your name.
---
0
Soccer players can go for 90 minutes and know 11 different positions. Just thought you should know that.
---
0
I'd love you like a snowstorm: I'd give you 8 to 10 inches and you wouldn't be able to leave the house for 3 days.
---
0
Hi, my name is Chris. Have you heard of me? No? Well let me take you home and fill you in.
---
0
So, tell me about yourself, your dreams, your ambitions, your phone number.
---
0
For a dollar, I'll blow you...a kiss.
---
0
So you think I am full of myself? (Yes.) Would you rather be full of me instead?
---
0
Did you just throw a water balloon at me? Because you've got me all wet.
---
0
Hello. I'm just doing a survey. How tall are you on your knees?
---
0
You are as beautiful as the sunset. How about we stay up and watch it? In the meantime...
---
0
So you thinking about getting a piercing? Well, if you want you can come back to my place, I happen to know a bit about penetration.
---
0
Did you know that I asked the devil for a condom and he gave me three. I asked him for a dime and he gave me a dollar. I asked him for a blowjob and he pointed at you...
---
0
Hey, let's play the Price is Right. Your pants just won! So bring 'em on down!
---
0
Did you know that you can feel your pulse in your groin? Want me to test it on you?
---
0
If you were aspirin, I would take you every four to six hours.
---
0
Be careful...I don't want my anus to break.
---
0
Whisper into the ear: "Sponge bath."
---
0
D you want to get into a car accident? I could hit it from behind.
---
0
Let's talk about football. (Stick one hand out) There's an endzone here (put your other arm around the person) And there's an endzone here. Now let's talk about scoring.
---
0
I have a present for you. I'm going to bear your children for the next five years.
---
0
Do you want to go for a bicycle ride? Sit on my face and peddle my ears!
---
0
Excuse me, you look just like my personal ho. May I have your name?
---
0
Watch out! You almost burned me...with your hotness...Want to makeout?
---
0
Women just use me for my rugged good looks, hard tanned muscular body, and large penis. Sometimes I just cry myself to sleep, craving for a hug in the morning, not a blow job. If you would you hug me in the morning, I'll let you suck me off later, but really, I just want to loved.
---
0
---
---
I love you, you know.
---
---
Hey, kitten. How about spending some of your nine lives with me?
0
0
If I let you suck on my tongue, would you be grateful?
5
2
Have you ever played "Spank the brunette"? Want to try?
---
0
Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
---
0
Do you like whales? Well I have a hump-back at my place.
---
0
You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a hole filed of you!
---
0
You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
---
0
Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.
---
0
I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.
---
0
Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
---
0
Hi. Can I domesticate you?
---
0
Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
---
0
Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
---
0
If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.
---
0
Your belt looks extremely tight. Let me loosen it for you.
---
0
Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
---
0
"Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" (What?) "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight."
5
3
I've been a bad boy/girl, so spank me!
---
0
Do you mind if I hangout on your stomach for a half an hour or so?
---
0
I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
---
0
Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
---
0
"So, did you here the one about the guy and the girl who had the most sexual relationship?" ("No.") "Well then, let's go to my place and I'll tell you all about it."
6
4
Excuse me, do you have any Benedryl? No why? Because everytime I look at you I have swelling "down there"
---
0
Let us let only latex stand between our love.
25
0
(Walk up to the target and lick two fingers and place them near her crotch. Then place the fingers back in your mouth and say . . . ) I know you!
---
0
Do you see why they call me tri-pod?
---
0
Um...I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?
---
0
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
---
0
If you had some nuts on the wall, couldn't they be called walnuts? (Yes). If you had some nuts on your chest, could they be called chestnuts? (Yes) If you had some nuts on your chin, could they be chinnuts? (Yes.) Hell no, you'd have a dick in your mouth.
---
0
Do you like chips? Because if you are "Frito Lay" than I am a barrel of fun!
---
0
I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
---
0
Come over here and get a taste of America's Most Wanted.
---
0
Hi. My name is Laura. I'll be your playtoy tonight.
---
0
Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6-inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?
---
0
You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
---
0
Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?
---
0
How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?
---
0
Let us pretend my pants are France and invade them.
---
0
Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!
---
0
I would like to herd my cattle in your fertile valley.
---
0
Hi. I'm a dog and I need to bury my bone.
14
0
Lets skip all the bullshit, lose our inhibitions, and DO what we really came here to do.
---
0
You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
---
0
Do you live on a chicken farm? (No.) You sure know how to raise cocks
---
0
Excuse me, but you have a "dick for" on your head. (What's a "dick for"?) I'll show you.
---
0
Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
---
0
Hi, sorry I don't have an opening line but since you have an opening and I have a line. . .
---
0
How about we make like Winnie-the-poo and I get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
---
0
Do you wanna box? (Yes.) Well, get on your hands and knees and give me two blows to the head.
---
0
Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose. Take off your clothes.
---
0
Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
---
0
What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name. (Editor's note [if you couldn't figure it out]: switch if a girl is picking up a boy)
---
0
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
---
0
If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
---
0
(wiping your face), Oh I'm sorry, (wiping your face), let me clear a place for you to sit!
---
0
Hey I see you are wearing clothes. I'm wearing clothes. Did you know we have something in common? We should get together and do something sometime.
---
0
Is your boyfriend/girlfriend here? Is s/he on the roof? (No.) Then let's go to the roof!
---
0
Wanna play "kite"? I lay down, you blow and we'll see how high you can make me.
---
0
My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling. . .
---
0
I'm easy, but it looks like you are hard.
---
0
Do you have room in your life for another friend?
---
0
Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?
---
0
Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
---
0
Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
---
0
Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I'm here after.
---
0
If I were to borrow your glasses, could I see you home?
---
0
Could you tell me where they keep the rutabagas? Oh, thanks. Oh, by the way, what is a rutabaga?
---
0
I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
---
0
I wanna take out your pencil and stick it in my pencil case.
---
0
I wanna take out your golf clubs and score a HOLE in 1.
---
0
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until the afternoon.
---
0
Hi. I'm horny.
---
0
Excuse me, but you've got a Wild Blocost on your shoulder! (What's a Wild Blocost?) How much do ya got?
---
0
You know, I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
---
0
You look like my type: Nice hair, beautiful eyes, amazing body, but there is still just one problem: your clothing. (What's wrong with my clothing?) They're still on.
---
0
(Look down at the crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
---
0
So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
---
0
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
---
0
I have not had sex in three years. No matter what you did, kiss me all over, dance for me, or wear provocative outfits, I would not give in. Want to test me?
---
0
Hi. I'm like a tropical island: hot, wet, and waiting for tourists.
---
0
Are you cold? Let me be your electric blacket. Just plug me in and I'll make you feel nice and toasty inside and out.
---
0
(Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?
---
0
Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
---
0
Champaine can be tickly, and so can I.
5
4
You know how your hair would look really good? [No.] In my lap.
---
0
If I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?
---
0
Do you remember me from the other night? Probably not, because we really hit it off.
---
0
Do you believe in Santa Claus? Do you think that if I am good this year, he'll put you in my stocking this year?
---
0
You know what they say about guys with big hands. (What?) Big latex.
---
0
How can I love you if you won't lay down?
---
0
(What are you doing?) I'm taking off my shoes. (Why?) So I can take off my pants.
---
0
If I were the king, and you were the queen, in the cosmic game of chess, would you mate with me?
---
0
My cat has lovely fur. Can I see yours?
---
0
You know how I am with dicks? I suck at it.
---
0
Do you like anyone else in here? Well, I guess you are stuck with me.
1
1
If you were a duck and I were a moose, and we had sex, we'd make a duckmoose, and it would sound like this: [make the wierdest sound you can].
16
1
You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.
---
0
What do you think of Bill Clinton? (Answer...) Yeah, me too, but I try not to follow that stuff regarding Bill, Hilliary, or Monica. Want a cigar?
---
0
Damn, I know you are not on four legs, but you look faster than a cheetah.
---
0
You're on my list of things to do tonight.
---
0
If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
8
3
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now." Put ear to watch. "It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh..." Tap watch a few times. "That's the problem... my watch is an hour fast!"
---
0
Do you want to go swimming? Damn, there isn't a pool around... But my sheets are blue?
---
0
Hi, I'm the reincarnated soul of Tai-Pong, once a starved, naked Buddhist monk. All that isolation is getting to me. Want to get down on your knees and pray?
---
0
Come on. We're leaving.
---
0
The name is Reese, and you're lookin like someone that would suck on my piece.
---
0
(Holding your nuts) Do you want "2 CDs" (see these) for a dollar?
---
0
Does God know you've escaped from Heaven? Here, come with me to my place. You can stay there until he calls looking for you.
---
0
Look at my lips and your lips. They want to massage each other.
---
0
Have you ever seen Buttman's Between the Cheeks?" No, well let me demonstrate.
---
0
Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!
(Works great for white guys)
0
What's your name? That's a beautiful name. Can I ask you one single, impulsive question? Are you in love at the present moment? I'm not the type of person to impede on another person's happiness but if the answer is "No," I'd like to continue with my rhapsody. Has anybody ever told you that you glide? (What?) It's a very special quality, every other girl/boy in this place merely plods along but you glide, girls who glide need guys who make them "thump." (What's thump?) You think about him, you can't eat, you can't sleep, you watch the phone waiting for it to ring. Girls who glide need guys who make them "thump," I can make you "thump." Have dinner with me.
---
0
I know I can't have your cherry, but can I get the box it came in?
---
0
If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
---
0
Hello, can I offer you eight inches of strength and sensitivity?
---
0
Are you anorexic? Oh, OK, then I'll understand if you spit.
---
0
Do you have a can opener? My dick is about to pop.
---
0
Do you work at Subway? Because you just have me a footlong.
---
0
Do you want to see the soles of your feet in the wing mirrors in my car?
---
0
I wanna take my extention cord and stick it all the way into your electrical outlet.
---
0
You have beautiful hair. But it could be better. (How?) If it were spread over my pillow.
---
0
Wanna feed my beaver some wood?
---
0
Hello, I may have just met you but I feel like I have known you all my life and I love you. What hotel room should I reserve?
5
5
Hi, do you dissect insects for scientific research? (No, why?) I thought you might want to look inside my fly.
---
0
Roses are Red; Apples are Sour; I'll Spread my legs; and you can show me your "power."
---
0
I'm sterile.
9
2
I'll make you shiver when I deliver.
---
0
Hello, well-formed Homo-sapien specimen. Would you care to depart with me towards my domiciliary residence and observe a documentary of the ontogenesis of another Homo-sapien individual just prior to fertilization?
---
0
Want to get down with me like four flat tires?
---
0
Did I mention that I'm the only person in the Guinness Book of World's Records actually able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
---
0
If you were camping and woke up with a used condom inside you, would you tell anyone? (No.) Want to go Camping?
---
0
Let's have a party in your shoes, and then invite your pants.
---
0
I'm hungry and I'm on a liquid diet.
10
5
I can play the 1812 Overture on a touchtone phone with my tongue.
3
1
Hey. Do you have that Hawiian Disease? What? "Comeoniwannalayya".
---
0
I'm like chocolate: I go straight to your ass!
---
0
I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
---
0
Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let's go to my room and put our pieces together.
---
0
You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?
---
0
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
---
0
What is long and hard, and right behind you?
---
0
You remind me of a Twinky: Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth."
Ouch.
0
If I were to send you flowers... No wait, let me rephrase: If I were to let you suck on my tongue, would you be grateful?
---
0
I'll bet you $10 my dick can't fit into your mouth.
---
0
Baby, I would do more things to you than MacGyver in a "Do-It-Yourself Shop".
---
0
I'm gonna have sex tonight!!! I'm gonna have sex tonight!!! (With whom?) Depends: What are you doing tonight at around 1?
5
4
I'm like Domino's Pizza: if you don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
---
0
Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
---
0
I'm a vegetarian but I'd make an exception for your meat!
---
0
Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
---
0
Did you know that Rock and Roll was originally an African American euphimism for sex?" (creepy leering look)
---
0
Do you think a relationship between you and I would be all sex, or do you think that there would be some depth to it?
---
0
Puffs can guarantee a good blow. Can you?
---
0
Hey, do you exercise? Can I be your thighmaster?
---
0
I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?
---
0
Have you ever been hunting before? (No.) Well, then how about you come up to my cabin with me this weekend and I can teach you how to stuff a beaver.
---
0
I hear there's a major problem with deforestation in the world today. Why don't we put together your chest and my nuts, and help save the world?
---
0
This condem (holding in hand) has your name written on it.
---
0
Save a horse, Ride a cowboy.
---
0
My vagina is a garden, want to shovel me out?
---
0
Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?
---
0
Excuse me, but I've been over by the bar running some numbers, and I believe that through combining our genes, we could create a faster, stronger, smarter super-soldier for our country. Now, there remains only one way to actually create this super-soldier, but in this time of national emergency, we have all been called upon to exert ourselves to new heights. Therefore, not for me, but for America, the cause of freedom calls upon you to go home with me tonight.
---
0
Like the hurricane said to the coconut tree; hold on to your nuts I'm gonna give you the blow of your life.
---
0
You should join the circus.(Why?) So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
---
0
(Blow a kiss and miss on purpose) Oops, I guess I missed, wanna try again, but a little closer?
---
0
Who wants a mustache ride?
---
0
My name is Haywood. Haywood Jablome.
---
0
Are you a horse? (No.) Can I ride you anyway?
---
0
Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
---
0
You know, I do sleep well with others...
---
0
Hi, my name is Laura. I don't have a gag reflex.
---
0
Can I add a branch to your family tree?
---
0
Wanna lift? Your dick and my spirits.
---
0
Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to.
36
36
What time do you get off? Can I watch?
---
0
Been to India? I'll get India (in to you).
---
0
Do you know anything about real estate? (Grab crotch or breasts) I was just wondering if you could tell me if this is a lot.
---
0
I'm on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
---
0
Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
---
0
Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me? See,I'm trying to find someone. (Who?) Any girl/guy who'll sleep with me.
---
0
I have a job for you.... but it blows...
---
0
Aren't you the girl/guy who is having sex with that really good looking guy/girl? (No.) Want to be?
---
0
Once you are finished fucking the 10-inchers, come back to me.
---
0
My clit ring got stuck. Can you open it with your teeth?
---
0
You should stop drinking! (Why?) Because you are driving me home.
---
0
Are you a god? (Um, no.) You're not? Then why do I want to kneel before you?
10
10
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
---
0
Are your knees dirty? I don't want to get my floor dirty.
---
0
I just got this tan in Hawai'i. Why don't you call me when you want some of this tan to rub off on you.
lots
Still waiting for a call...
OH GOD! OH GOD! Just practicing.
---
0
Hi. I just need you to know that you can't get pregnant from anal sex.
---
0
Trust me. It will only seem kinky the first time.
---
0
You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?
---
0
In another life I think we dated and I dumped you. But I'm thinking that that was a mistake. Now is your second chance!
---
0
Excuse me, I'm putting together a list of people with whom I want to have sex, and I'll need the correct spelling of your name.
---
0
Soccer players can go for 90 minutes and know 11 different positions. Just thought you should know that.
---
0
I'd love you like a snowstorm: I'd give you 8 to 10 inches and you wouldn't be able to leave the house for 3 days.
---
0
Hi, my name is Chris. Have you heard of me? No? Well let me take you home and fill you in.
---
0
So, tell me about yourself, your dreams, your ambitions, your phone number.
---
0
For a dollar, I'll blow you...a kiss.
---
0
So you think I am full of myself? (Yes.) Would you rather be full of me instead?
---
0
Did you just throw a water balloon at me? Because you've got me all wet.
---
0
Hello. I'm just doing a survey. How tall are you on your knees?
---
0
You are as beautiful as the sunset. How about we stay up and watch it? In the meantime...
---
0
So you thinking about getting a piercing? Well, if you want you can come back to my place, I happen to know a bit about penetration.
---
0
Did you know that I asked the devil for a condom and he gave me three. I asked him for a dime and he gave me a dollar. I asked him for a blowjob and he pointed at you...
---
0
Hey, let's play the Price is Right. Your pants just won! So bring 'em on down!
---
0
Did you know that you can feel your pulse in your groin? Want me to test it on you?
---
0
If you were aspirin, I would take you every four to six hours.
---
0
Be careful...I don't want my anus to break.
---
0
Whisper into the ear: "Sponge bath."
---
0
D you want to get into a car accident? I could hit it from behind.
---
0
Let's talk about football. (Stick one hand out) There's an endzone here (put your other arm around the person) And there's an endzone here. Now let's talk about scoring.
---
0
I have a present for you. I'm going to bear your children for the next five years.
---
0
Do you want to go for a bicycle ride? Sit on my face and peddle my ears!
---
0
Excuse me, you look just like my personal ho. May I have your name?
---
0
Watch out! You almost burned me...with your hotness...Want to makeout?
---
0
Women just use me for my rugged good looks, hard tanned muscular body, and large penis. Sometimes I just cry myself to sleep, craving for a hug in the morning, not a blow job. If you would you hug me in the morning, I'll let you suck me off later, but really, I just want to loved.
---
0
Labels:
Great Pick up Lines
New Pick up Lines
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
5
1
"Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
2
0
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
1
0
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
0
0
Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!
0
0
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
2
0
Can I flirt with you?
1
0
Can I please be your slave tonight?
0
0
Can I see your tan lines?
0
0
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
0
0
Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
0
0
Congratulations! You have just been voted "Most Beautiful Boy/Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
0
0
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I could see myself in your pants.
0
0
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
0
0
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
0
0
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
0
0
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
3
1
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
0
0
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
4
1
Do you spit or swallow?
6
3
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
0
0
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
4
1
Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
0
0
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
0
0
Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
1
0
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
1
0
God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
0
0
Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
9
0
Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
60
4
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
4
3
Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
0
0
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
0
0
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
0
0
Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
1
0
Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
4
1
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
4
3
Hi. Are you legal?
0
0
Hi. You'll do.
0
0
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
0
0
How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
0
0
Hand out phone card that says: "Smile if you want to sleep with me."
0
0
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
0
0
I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
6
0
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
0
0
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
4
0
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
0
0
I wonder what our children will look like.
0
0
I would kill or die to make love with you.
0
0
I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
10
0
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
1
0
I'd look good on you.
0
0
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
1
0
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
1
0
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
2
1
I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?
0
0
I've got a condom with your name on it.
3
0
I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?
0
0
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
0
0
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
6
0
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
Only used by the King
Only works for the King
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
7
0
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
0
0
Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
7
3
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
0
0
Lie down. I think I love you.
2
1
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
2
0
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
0
0
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
8
0
Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
0
0
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
0
0
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
0
0
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
0
0
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
10
0
That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
0
0
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
0
0
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
2
0
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
0
0
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
1
0
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
0
0
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
0
0
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
14
0
Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
0
0
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
0
0
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
0
0
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
7
0
What do you like for breakfast?
0
0
(Do you have a match?) How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
1
0
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
0
0
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
6
5
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
1
0
Will you marry me for just one night?
0
0
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
0
0
Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
0
0
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
10
0
Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
0
0
Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow night.
0
0
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
4
0
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
9
0
You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
9
0
You smell wet. Let's Party.
6
0
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
10
0
Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
6
0
5
1
"Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
2
0
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
1
0
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
0
0
Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!
0
0
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
2
0
Can I flirt with you?
1
0
Can I please be your slave tonight?
0
0
Can I see your tan lines?
0
0
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
0
0
Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
0
0
Congratulations! You have just been voted "Most Beautiful Boy/Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
0
0
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I could see myself in your pants.
0
0
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
0
0
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
0
0
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
0
0
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
3
1
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
0
0
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
4
1
Do you spit or swallow?
6
3
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
0
0
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
4
1
Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
0
0
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
0
0
Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
1
0
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
1
0
God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
0
0
Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
9
0
Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
60
4
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
4
3
Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
0
0
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
0
0
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
0
0
Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
1
0
Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
4
1
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
4
3
Hi. Are you legal?
0
0
Hi. You'll do.
0
0
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
0
0
How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
0
0
Hand out phone card that says: "Smile if you want to sleep with me."
0
0
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
0
0
I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
6
0
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
0
0
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
4
0
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
0
0
I wonder what our children will look like.
0
0
I would kill or die to make love with you.
0
0
I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
10
0
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
1
0
I'd look good on you.
0
0
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
1
0
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
1
0
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
2
1
I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?
0
0
I've got a condom with your name on it.
3
0
I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?
0
0
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
0
0
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
6
0
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
Only used by the King
Only works for the King
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
7
0
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
0
0
Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
7
3
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
0
0
Lie down. I think I love you.
2
1
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
2
0
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
0
0
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
8
0
Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
0
0
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
0
0
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
0
0
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
0
0
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
10
0
That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
0
0
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
0
0
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
2
0
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
0
0
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
1
0
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
0
0
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
0
0
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
14
0
Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
0
0
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
0
0
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
0
0
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
7
0
What do you like for breakfast?
0
0
(Do you have a match?) How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
1
0
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
0
0
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
6
5
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
1
0
Will you marry me for just one night?
0
0
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
0
0
Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
0
0
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
10
0
Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
0
0
Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow night.
0
0
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
4
0
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
9
0
You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
9
0
You smell wet. Let's Party.
6
0
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
10
0
Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
6
0
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