(Walk over to her)"Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about it."
2
0
Chicks dig me. I wear colored underwear.
3
0
Come on, you can't get pregnant again.
2
0
Did you know that the word 'motel' spelled backwards means 'letom'?
3
0
Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
3
0
Do you think I could borrow that dress/bustier sometime?
2
0
Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and one of the things on my list is a umm....weird chick.
3
0
Free mammograms, get your free mammograms here, get 'em while they're hot!
2
0
Have you run into any trees lately? Then how bout a root!
0
0
Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me to pick you up and take you home. My, what a pretty dress.
0
0
HI! Can I buy you a car?
3
0
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
2
0
I found this [lace glove, rosary, etc.] on the floor at the club last night, is it yours? Well, if it's not, I'd like to give it to you anyway.
0
0
I saw you at the party last weekend and you look kind of interesting.. Let's meet sometime...
0
0
Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's
2
0
Want to see my stamp collection?
0
0
What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
0
0
You know, if we cut your arms off, you'd look just like Venus de Milo.
0
0
You have the ass of a great artist.
0
If I pet you, would you follow me home?
0
0
Greetings and salivations
15
10
Chicks dig me because I rarely wear any underwear, and when I do it is usually something eroticaly exotic...want to see?
0
0
I need to dump my load. Do you mind waiting for me on the bonnet of my car?
0
0
Pardon me, can I borrow your spatula?
0
0
I have big feet.
0
0
Not only can I palm an NBA basketball, I wear a 13 1/2 size shoe
0
0
I want you to have my children. In fact, you can have them right now, they're out in the car.
0
0
Most people would agree that society these days has lost a bit of it's civility. It's a shame. You have excellent posture.
0
0
I'm the one responsible for all those crop circles in England.
0
0
So, when was the last time somebody made you a 7-course gourmet meal?
0
0
I think I crapped my pants. Can I get into yours?
Pick-Up Lines
Pick-Up Lines
Be unique and different, say yes.
1
1
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
0
0
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
14
10
Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
3
1
Hi. Are you cute?
0
0
I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
not enough
0
I'm easy. Are you?
0
0
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
20
0
I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
300
1
Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
0
0
So....How am I doin'?
0
0
You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
4
4
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?(if yes: Want another one?)
7
1
Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?
---
---
When she's leaving:"Hey, where are you going?" Answer:"home." You:"You're not just gonna leave me here like this are you?"
0
0
Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
0
0
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
0
0
Does your boyfriend know where you are?
0
0
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
13
13
If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
0
0
(Approach a group of them) I'm gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who's first?
0
0
(give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.
11
9
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
0
0
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
0
0
As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
0
0
I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.
15
13
All this could be yours for one low, low price!
0
0
Believe it or not, gettin' laid is still hard when you're this good-looking.
0
0
I'm friendly and slow moving!
0
0
So, do you like fat guys with no money?
0
And why not!?!
[Other] And your name is....? [You] My name is INCREDIBLE. But you can call me Laura.
0
0
Here is $11. Drink until I am really good looking, then come to talk to me.
0
0
Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
http://www.linesthataregood.com/
Be unique and different, say yes.
1
1
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
0
0
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
14
10
Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
3
1
Hi. Are you cute?
0
0
I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
not enough
0
I'm easy. Are you?
0
0
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
20
0
I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
300
1
Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
0
0
So....How am I doin'?
0
0
You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
4
4
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?(if yes: Want another one?)
7
1
Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?
---
---
When she's leaving:"Hey, where are you going?" Answer:"home." You:"You're not just gonna leave me here like this are you?"
0
0
Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
0
0
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
0
0
Does your boyfriend know where you are?
0
0
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
13
13
If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
0
0
(Approach a group of them) I'm gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who's first?
0
0
(give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.
11
9
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
0
0
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
0
0
As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
0
0
I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.
15
13
All this could be yours for one low, low price!
0
0
Believe it or not, gettin' laid is still hard when you're this good-looking.
0
0
I'm friendly and slow moving!
0
0
So, do you like fat guys with no money?
0
And why not!?!
[Other] And your name is....? [You] My name is INCREDIBLE. But you can call me Laura.
0
0
Here is $11. Drink until I am really good looking, then come to talk to me.
0
0
Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
http://www.linesthataregood.com/
Labels:
Pick-Up Lines
Pick-Up Lines Worthy of Beavis and Butthead
Pick-Up Lines Worthy of Beavis and Butthead
Uh, hey baby.
Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said "come."
You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let's like get into each other's life or whatever.
Uh, like let's drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, do it.
Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.
What's your sign? Is it "Yield"? Huh huh huh huh..
Would you like carry my books for me?.
If I said you were sexy, would you hold your body against me?.
I can make you feel like I've never had sex before..
My lips are registered weapons.
I'm not trying to pick you up. You're like too heavy. Huh huh huh huh. Get it?
If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public..
If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree..
If you ever had sex with a machine, that's what it's like with me. 'Cause I'm like a sex machine..
If you're really hot, I bet I can cool you down..
Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? 'Cause that's what I'm looking for..
Should I call you for breakfast or will you like cook it for me?.
You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it..
Uh,...what?
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Hey, baby, do you want me to take off my shorts?
Hey, is that hard? Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh I said HARD!
Uh I'm like a doctor, uh an orthodontist, I'm gonna have to ask you to, ya know, uh take off your clothes.
I would like, do homework or something, for your love.
Hey baby, you have braces? uh huh huh huh I have braces too.
Uh, hey baby.
Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said "come."
You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let's like get into each other's life or whatever.
Uh, like let's drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, do it.
Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.
What's your sign? Is it "Yield"? Huh huh huh huh..
Would you like carry my books for me?.
If I said you were sexy, would you hold your body against me?.
I can make you feel like I've never had sex before..
My lips are registered weapons.
I'm not trying to pick you up. You're like too heavy. Huh huh huh huh. Get it?
If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public..
If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree..
If you ever had sex with a machine, that's what it's like with me. 'Cause I'm like a sex machine..
If you're really hot, I bet I can cool you down..
Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? 'Cause that's what I'm looking for..
Should I call you for breakfast or will you like cook it for me?.
You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it..
Uh,...what?
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Hey, baby, do you want me to take off my shorts?
Hey, is that hard? Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh I said HARD!
Uh I'm like a doctor, uh an orthodontist, I'm gonna have to ask you to, ya know, uh take off your clothes.
I would like, do homework or something, for your love.
Hey baby, you have braces? uh huh huh huh I have braces too.
Pick up lines
Just Plain Lame:
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
3
0
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
3
0
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
5
0
Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
4
0
Do you want to see something swell?
4
0
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
7
0
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
6
0
Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
2
0
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
4
0
I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
2
0
I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
2
0
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
5
0
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
1
0
My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.
2
0
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
2
0
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
6
0
Pardon me, are you in heat?!
2
0
Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
5
0
So, you're a girl huh?
6
1
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
1
0
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
2
0
Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats fiv e.
2
0
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
1
0
You make my software turn to hardware!
1
0
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
2
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well: "Hey, wanna hook up sometime?"
---
---
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
not enough
0
Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere?
---
---
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
---
---
Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
10
10
Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
---
---
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
---
---
Hi... would you fuck me? I'd fuck me, I'd fuck me real hard!!
---
---
Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
---
---
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
---
---
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
---
---
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
---
---
Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?"
---
---
They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
---
---
Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick?
---
---
Which one of the Spice girls are you?
54
2
Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
1
0
Weren't you at the tractor pull last night? I remember your tits.
---
---
Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
---
---
(Used while you and a male friend wear a bib. Walk up and stare at breasts) Mama!
---
0
This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.
Instead, they had to hear that.
0
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
---
0
Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size.
---
0
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in
---
0
Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes.
---
0
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
---
0
Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
---
0
I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!
---
0
Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularly nice weather."
---
0
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
---
0
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
---
0
Damn, have you been eating beans and rice lately?
---
0
I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
---
0
I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?
4
-3
Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand.
---
0
For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...
15
5
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
---
0
Don't worry about the missing teeth. It just means that there is more room for your tongue.
---
0
Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
---
0
I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
4
2!!!
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
Get it? Rushing and Roaming?
Haa haa
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
?
2
So you wanna get laid? Then crawl up a chicken's butt and wait.
---
0
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
---
0
Can you help me up? My dick is too big.
---
0
Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69.
---
0
Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show!
---
0
You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.
---
0
Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!
---
0
Good day for weather.
---
0
You know what you and corn have in common? (No) Absolutely nothing! (laugh hysterically at yourself.)
---
0
I wet my pants... can I get in yours?
---
0
Got two nipples for a dime?
---
0
Are you Natasha, my contact?
---
0
You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride the me.
---
0
You're so hot, your ass is on fire.
15
12 (I believe this guy)
If you were a dwarf, you'd probably say I got a big dick.
---
0
You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."
---
0
OK, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest little way of getting on and off.
---
0
Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?"
---
0
Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
---
0
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
---
0
Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, shit, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
---
0
If I stuck my cock in Ajax for an hour,would you suck it? NO!! Dirty cock sucker!
---
0
Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with you? (nudge with elbow)
---
0
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
---
0
You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!
---
0
Excuse me. Do you put on a foundation before you put on a powder? (Yeah.) Can I have your phone number?
---
0
I think you and I should dipthong.
---
0
I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit.
---
0
Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement...
---
0
Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can figure out how to send that money, and walk away.
---
0
Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.
---
0
Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.
---
0
Can I try a few pick up lines on you? [give some good ones and some lame ones] OK, I have just one more line for you: Can I try a few pick up lines on you?
1
1
(Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "threesome" written on your forehead?
---
0
My name is Justin. Justincredible.
---
0
Hey, there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex? (I don't know) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
---
0
Excuse me, but would you like to hold the priesthood?
---
0
If you were my sister/brother, incest would be cool.
---
0
Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress!
---
0
I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle.
---
0
You look like my World of Warcraft character. Want to go back to my place and do some PvP (player vs. player)?
---
0
You do to my mind what White Castle does to my bowels; just runnin' all day.
---
0
I can tell by the way you're ignoring me that you want me...
---
0
The doctor said I broke the record for the world's most powerful penis. Do you want to see me work my magic?
---
0
(Put your hands down your pants, then smell them) Ah, smells like success. Want to smell?
---
0
If my pillow had a hole in it, I would name it after you.
---
0
Would you fuck me if I was going to die soon? Well, I've got a bomb in my pants.
---
0
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
---
0
If I told you I was gay, would you let me touch you?
---
0
Let's get drunk and take advantage of each other. Or, I could get drunk and you could just take advantage of me. OR, you can stay here and get drunk and I can go home and take advantage of myself. Either way, it's up to you.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
3
0
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
3
0
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
5
0
Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
4
0
Do you want to see something swell?
4
0
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
7
0
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
6
0
Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
2
0
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
4
0
I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
2
0
I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
2
0
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
5
0
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
1
0
My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.
2
0
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
2
0
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
6
0
Pardon me, are you in heat?!
2
0
Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
5
0
So, you're a girl huh?
6
1
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
1
0
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
2
0
Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats fiv e.
2
0
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
1
0
You make my software turn to hardware!
1
0
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
2
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well: "Hey, wanna hook up sometime?"
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If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
not enough
0
Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere?
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Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
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Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
10
10
Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
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My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
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Hi... would you fuck me? I'd fuck me, I'd fuck me real hard!!
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Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
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There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
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Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
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When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
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Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?"
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They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
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Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick?
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Which one of the Spice girls are you?
54
2
Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
1
0
Weren't you at the tractor pull last night? I remember your tits.
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Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
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(Used while you and a male friend wear a bib. Walk up and stare at breasts) Mama!
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This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.
Instead, they had to hear that.
0
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
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0
Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size.
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0
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in
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0
Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes.
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0
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
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0
Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
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0
I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!
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0
Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularly nice weather."
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0
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
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0
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
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0
Damn, have you been eating beans and rice lately?
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0
I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
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0
I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?
4
-3
Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand.
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0
For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...
15
5
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
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0
Don't worry about the missing teeth. It just means that there is more room for your tongue.
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0
Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
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0
I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
4
2!!!
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
Get it? Rushing and Roaming?
Haa haa
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
?
2
So you wanna get laid? Then crawl up a chicken's butt and wait.
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0
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
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0
Can you help me up? My dick is too big.
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0
Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69.
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0
Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show!
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0
You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.
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0
Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!
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0
Good day for weather.
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0
You know what you and corn have in common? (No) Absolutely nothing! (laugh hysterically at yourself.)
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0
I wet my pants... can I get in yours?
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0
Got two nipples for a dime?
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0
Are you Natasha, my contact?
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0
You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride the me.
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0
You're so hot, your ass is on fire.
15
12 (I believe this guy)
If you were a dwarf, you'd probably say I got a big dick.
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0
You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."
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0
OK, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest little way of getting on and off.
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0
Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?"
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0
Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
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0
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
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0
Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, shit, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
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0
If I stuck my cock in Ajax for an hour,would you suck it? NO!! Dirty cock sucker!
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0
Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with you? (nudge with elbow)
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0
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
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0
You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!
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0
Excuse me. Do you put on a foundation before you put on a powder? (Yeah.) Can I have your phone number?
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0
I think you and I should dipthong.
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0
I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit.
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0
Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement...
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0
Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can figure out how to send that money, and walk away.
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0
Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.
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0
Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.
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0
Can I try a few pick up lines on you? [give some good ones and some lame ones] OK, I have just one more line for you: Can I try a few pick up lines on you?
1
1
(Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "threesome" written on your forehead?
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0
My name is Justin. Justincredible.
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0
Hey, there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex? (I don't know) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
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0
Excuse me, but would you like to hold the priesthood?
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0
If you were my sister/brother, incest would be cool.
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0
Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress!
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0
I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle.
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0
You look like my World of Warcraft character. Want to go back to my place and do some PvP (player vs. player)?
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0
You do to my mind what White Castle does to my bowels; just runnin' all day.
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0
I can tell by the way you're ignoring me that you want me...
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0
The doctor said I broke the record for the world's most powerful penis. Do you want to see me work my magic?
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0
(Put your hands down your pants, then smell them) Ah, smells like success. Want to smell?
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0
If my pillow had a hole in it, I would name it after you.
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0
Would you fuck me if I was going to die soon? Well, I've got a bomb in my pants.
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0
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
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0
If I told you I was gay, would you let me touch you?
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0
Let's get drunk and take advantage of each other. Or, I could get drunk and you could just take advantage of me. OR, you can stay here and get drunk and I can go home and take advantage of myself. Either way, it's up to you.
Labels:
pick up lines
Flattery: Compliments CAN be nice...
Flattery: Compliments CAN be nice...
(Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.
0
0
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
0
0
Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
4
1
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
0
0
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
1
0
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
0
0
Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
0
0
Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you."
0
0
Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
0
0
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
10
7
Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
0
0
Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
12
4
Hey, I know you! You were Miss Maryland last year, weren't you?
0
0
I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
1
1(for Dick)
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
0
0
I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
41
17
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
2
0
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
0
0
I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
20
3
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
0
0
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
14
0
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
10
3
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
1
0
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
0
0
Just where do those legs of yours end?
0
0
Let's take a shower together -- you smell.
0
0
Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
34
7
So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
0
0
Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you.
20
3
Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
0
0
Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
10
3
Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
0
0
Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
10
5
Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
0
0
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
40
11
What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
King Cheese!
Some cheese
Wow! Are those real?
12
1
Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.
0
0
You are the reason men fall in love.
0
0
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
1
0
You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
3
0
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
0
0
You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice.
4
1
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
0
0
You should be someone's wife.
4
1
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
8
8...successive slaps...
You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
0
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
13
13
Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
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Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night!
3
0
If you have a chance to become anything on earth what would you want to become?" [the answer] you: " well to me, I want to be your tear drop: I was born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
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0
Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!
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0
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
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0
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
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0
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
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0
You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
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0
Baby, you so flat you make the walls jealous.
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0
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
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0
I bet you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
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0
I bet you could suck Lincoln's head off a penny.
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0
Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
3
0
Are you wearing space pants? Cause your ass is out of this world.
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0
Excuse me.....Hi, i'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you...
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0
If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.
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0
Guy: Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Girl: Why? Guy: I looked at you and dropped mine.
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0
Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
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0
There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because everytime I see you, you turn me on!
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0
Damn, I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
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0
Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special.
10
2
Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?
11
10
Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
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0
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
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0
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
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0
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
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0
If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
11
7
Presents the person with a single rose and say: "I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are."
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0
I betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day.
6
6
If God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
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0
You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
I hope that it would be seen as flattery.
0
You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
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0
Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
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0
You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
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0
I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
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0
Most people like to watch the (i.e. World Cup, Stanley Cup, Super Bowl, NBA playoffs, etc..) cuz it only happens once a year/every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.
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0
Where's your paper bag? (What?) Your paper bag to put over your head. (Excuse me?) It's dangerous for someone like you to be out in public with all of these horny people around. Don't worry, I'll protect you.
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0
When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
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0
Has anyone ever told you that you have Scandinavian hands? (Uh, no.) No, of course not, that would be an incredibly stupid thing to say, wouldn't it?
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0
Excuse me miss... Is your face so messed up because you fell from heaven.
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0
Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
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0
Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
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0
Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
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0
Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
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0
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
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0
Do you go the ocean much? 'Cause you smell like the CLAM!
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0
Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
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0
I'm sorry, but, have we met before? (No.) Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that it must have been your mom.
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0
Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
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0
You're a babe, right? Haven't you seen the film?
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0
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
cheesy?
Quite.
Even though the ugly lights are shining bright, you still look beautiful.
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0
There aren't enough "O"'s in the word "smooth" to describe how smooth you are.
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0
This is incredible. This is the first time that this has ever happened to us. (What?) Each one of my 27 personalities found you cute!
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0
If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.
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0
Wow, you have some sweet birthin' hips.
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0
(Walk up to them and touch them) Thank God, I thought that you were only an illusion(mirage).
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0
If beauty were a grain of sand, you'd be a million beaches.
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0
Is that your date, or did your brother get a new dress?
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0
You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.
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0
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
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0
If it weren't for that DAMNED sun, you'd be the hottest thing ever created.
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0
That's a nice watch [Thank you] Actually, that's a nice dress. [Again, thank you] Come to think of it, everything is nice on you.
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0
Did the Lord steal the thunder from the skies and put them in your thighs?
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0
Are those implants?
Is that flattery, or "flattery"?
0
Are you a bird collector? 'Cause you've got a nice set of hooters.
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0
Excuse me, is that your perfume that you are wearing?
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0
How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me.
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0
I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.
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0
(Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Person: What are you doing?!?!? You: Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. Person: WHAT?!?!? You: Well it has to be illegal to look that good!
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0
You are a 9.9999. You'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
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0
Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
1
1
When God made you, he was showing off.
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0
(Bump into someone) If I knew how hot you were I would have grabbed your ass instead of bumping into you.
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0
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
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0
Hey, don't frown - you'll never know who might be falling in love with your smile.
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0
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.
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0
My ex-girlfriend used to call me Goldfinger.
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0
If all the stars in the sky were summed, not even words that many times stronger than "beautiful" could ever be used to describe you.
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0
You're so hot, I bet you could light a candel at 10 paces.
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0
How much did it cost? (What?) The surgery that made you so hot!
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0
Are you a bad load of laundry? You make my pants feel two sizes too small.
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0
If you were a laser gun, you'd be set on stunning.
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0
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porshe.
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0
The drink: \$6. The room: $100. The night with you?: Priceless.
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0
Listen to this: my buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful boy/girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
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0
You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!
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0
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
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0
Have you seen my enormous jar of "Penis Reducing Cream"?
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0
You know at this angle as the lights hit your eyes [start fixing hair] I can see myself and I look great." Then smile, and sheepishly say "just kidding."
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0
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
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0
You wet? I'd bet you are after looking at me.
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0
You're so fine, I'd suck your daddy's dick just to get some of where that came from.
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0
I can't believe I've been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye".
20
20
I had your sister last year, she sucked. Wanna defend your family honor?
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0
Hey baby, you've got somthing on your butt: my eyes.
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0
This isn't a beer belly, It'a a fuel tank for a love machine.
2
0 (I have no idea why...)
Are those your breasts or are they Siamese Watermelons?
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0
I don't know you, but I think I love you already.
1
1
You look beautiful today, just like every other day.
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0
Walk up and say, "Yes?" "What?" "Oh, my friend told me that you wanted to make out with me because I'm the finest thing you have seen all night."
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0
Are you an interior decorator? When i saw you the room became beautiful.
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0
You know I'd like to invite you over, but I'm afraid you're so hot you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.
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0
Ok, quick, you go in the toilets and get me some condoms and meet me back here in five minutes... In the meantime I'll go and get you some breath mints...
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0
You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 30.
10
5
Scientists call me a medical miracle.
---
0
[You] Here are my keys [Other] Why? [You] Here's the key to my house, my car,...and my heart.
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0
You had better direct that beauty and femininity somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
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0
Pardon me, I don't mean to make a pass, but you must be leavin' the country if you're packin' that much ass.
---
0
Why is it that every time you are around, my pants feel tighter?
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0
When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
17
16
Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.
---
0
Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
---
0
Fat Penguin. WHAT? I just thought I'd say something to break the ice.
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0
You know that I think about you only twice a day? Once when my eyes are open, and once when they are closed.
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0
You're so flat, I don't know if you're walking forwareds or backwards.
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0
Two words explain me when I'm not with you. Jergens Lotion.
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0
Baby, you must be a slut because you give out more ass than a donkey dealership.
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0
How much do you cost? I've got a dollar, how much change would I get back?
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0
If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would chose winning the lottery...but it would be close...real close...
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0
Is that a fox on your shoulder, or am I seeing double?
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0
Will you be my derivative? I'll be the area under your curves.
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0
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
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0
Do you like pool, cause I've got the balls if you've got the rack. (or vice versa)
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0
Damn, Sugar, settle down. I'm diabetic.
10
10
You need $20 and a friend. Give friend the $20. Walk up to target. Friend says, "You're right. Those are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." Hands you the $20 and walks away.
**DAMN, you need a friend!**
0
So last night I had the same dream over and over - always the same thing, but in a different location every time. I kept dreaming that I was asking you out, but every time before you answered, I woke up, and I'm dying to know what your answer was.
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0
Tonight, you know you will be sitting on your bed and you will be holding your pillow close to your chest and wish it were me pressing against your chest.
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0
From across the bare you looked a little on the heavy side, but as you got closer I noticed you were ugly too!
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0
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
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0
(If s/he is looking at you)You know, my mother always told me it was impolite to stare... so what do you say we dance?
8
8
Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!
---
0
See these keys? Ya like em? I wish I had the one to your heart.
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0
Excuse me I have a problem and I wonder if you can help me? (O.K. I'll see what I can do. What is your problem?) I have every S.T.D. in the book except for one and I think you can give it to me!
---
0
Hey baby. I'm single. Do you believe that shit?
1
1
Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!
---
0
Is that shirt Camel Skin? 'Cause I'm checkin' out your humps!
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0
You could make a glass eye cry...
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0
I think that your attractive and simply amazing from what I've seen so far. Can I get your number and meet your personality.
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0
All the other girls are just rough Drafts .... but i think you are the FINAL COPY!!
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0
Are you a hands-on-learner? Because I am, and I'd like to learn about you...
---
0
Way to go God!!!
---
0
If God had a refrigerator, a picture of you would be on it.
---
0
Your voice sounds like sandpaper grated over a cheese grater.
---
0
I bet your name is Jesus, because you look like you came from heaven!
---
Wow. Sacrilegiously lame.
You don't look too bad, I'm guessing you only got hit once in the face with that sack of nickels, right?
---
0
Bitch, give me some of that disease!
---
0
You look so hot that I could cook rice on you!
---
Wow. Ethnic-insensitively lame.
You're hotter than donut grease.
---
0
You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
---
0
I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.
---
0
A thousand painters working for a thousand years could not create a beauty that equals you.
---
0
Did you know its a felony in this state to look that good, but if you turn around I'll let you off with a warning.
---
0
If you were on hotornot.com, I would give you a ten.
---
0
There are only two beautiful girls in the world, and you are both of them.
---
0
Your good looks don't intimidate me. (Walk away)
---
0
If you could put a price tag on beauty you'd be worth more than Fort Knox.
---
0
Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet bowl.
---
0
Baby, you're so hot, you make the North Pole look like the equator.
---
0
You're so hot, I'd better smother you with my body before you burst into flame!
---
0
When I grow up, i want to have a beautiful daughter. So can I ask your parents how they made you be that way?
---
0
Did you fall out of the sky? That would explain what happened to your face.
---
0
You know, they say that behind every beautiful woman there is a beautiful behind. Well, your ass is gorgeous.
---
0
(Sounding official) Excuse me, we have a problem here. You see that table over there? It has one too many chairs at it. Would you like to join me?
4
4
I must be dancing with the devil, because you're hot as hell.
---
0
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
---
0
You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!
---
0
What is your occupation? I would've guessed interior decorator--you sure make this place seem a lot nicer.
---
0
I'm not trying to pick you up or anything because you are kind of heavy.
---
0
Will you be my sweet-ass bitch for the prom?
---
0
I'd buy my way into your heart if I thought it had a price.
---
0
What is your name? That's a nice name. It's my dog's name.
---
0
You're so beautiful you make me wish I was straight.
---
0
Your pussy is really loose, can I touch your caboose?
---
0
Do you have a tag for that rack?
---
0
Do you play softball? Because you are really soft.
---
0
I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.
---
0
If you were a steak you would be well done.
---
0
It's a good thing your ass is so fat, because it takes the attention off of your face.
---
0
Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.
---
0
If I judged you on a 1 to 10 scale, I'd give you a '9.9'. It would be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
---
0
Hello, I am God. Will you be my angel?
---
0
Are you always this hot or did you just steal the sun?
---
0
Your ex was just too stupid to not admit that there was no flower in the gardens in heaven and Earth that are as beautiful as you.
---
0
Are you Jeff's girlfriend? No? Don't you know Jeff? He told me he was dating the MOST PERFECT ANGEL IN TOWN I saw you here and assumed it was you.
---
0
Your boyfriend/girlfriend has got to be the luckiest person in the world. But, are you happy? Call me.
---
0
I am going to go downstairs later to find some hotties. Would you like to go downstairs so we could find you?
---
0
Hey Cutie. No, not you, but your body.
---
0
Hey, do you like dancing? Go over there and dance so I can talk to your friend.
---
0
It's dark in here. Wait! It's because all of the light is shining on you.
---
0
(Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.
0
0
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
0
0
Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
4
1
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
0
0
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
1
0
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
0
0
Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
0
0
Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you."
0
0
Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
0
0
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
10
7
Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
0
0
Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
12
4
Hey, I know you! You were Miss Maryland last year, weren't you?
0
0
I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
1
1(for Dick)
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
0
0
I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
41
17
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
2
0
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
0
0
I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
20
3
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
0
0
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
14
0
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
10
3
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
1
0
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
0
0
Just where do those legs of yours end?
0
0
Let's take a shower together -- you smell.
0
0
Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
34
7
So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
0
0
Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you.
20
3
Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
0
0
Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
10
3
Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
0
0
Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
10
5
Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
0
0
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
40
11
What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
King Cheese!
Some cheese
Wow! Are those real?
12
1
Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.
0
0
You are the reason men fall in love.
0
0
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
1
0
You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
3
0
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
0
0
You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice.
4
1
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
0
0
You should be someone's wife.
4
1
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
8
8...successive slaps...
You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
0
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
13
13
Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
---
---
Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night!
3
0
If you have a chance to become anything on earth what would you want to become?" [the answer] you: " well to me, I want to be your tear drop: I was born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
---
0
Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!
---
0
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
---
0
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
---
0
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
---
0
You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
---
0
Baby, you so flat you make the walls jealous.
---
0
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
---
0
I bet you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
---
0
I bet you could suck Lincoln's head off a penny.
---
0
Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
3
0
Are you wearing space pants? Cause your ass is out of this world.
---
0
Excuse me.....Hi, i'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you...
---
0
If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.
---
0
Guy: Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Girl: Why? Guy: I looked at you and dropped mine.
---
0
Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
---
0
There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because everytime I see you, you turn me on!
---
0
Damn, I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
---
0
Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special.
10
2
Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?
11
10
Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
---
0
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
---
0
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
---
0
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
---
0
If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
11
7
Presents the person with a single rose and say: "I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are."
---
0
I betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day.
6
6
If God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
---
0
You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
I hope that it would be seen as flattery.
0
You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
---
0
Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
---
0
You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
---
0
I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
---
0
Most people like to watch the (i.e. World Cup, Stanley Cup, Super Bowl, NBA playoffs, etc..) cuz it only happens once a year/every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.
---
0
Where's your paper bag? (What?) Your paper bag to put over your head. (Excuse me?) It's dangerous for someone like you to be out in public with all of these horny people around. Don't worry, I'll protect you.
---
0
When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
---
0
Has anyone ever told you that you have Scandinavian hands? (Uh, no.) No, of course not, that would be an incredibly stupid thing to say, wouldn't it?
---
0
Excuse me miss... Is your face so messed up because you fell from heaven.
---
0
Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
---
0
Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
---
0
Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
---
0
Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
---
0
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
---
0
Do you go the ocean much? 'Cause you smell like the CLAM!
---
0
Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
---
0
I'm sorry, but, have we met before? (No.) Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that it must have been your mom.
---
0
Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
---
0
You're a babe, right? Haven't you seen the film?
---
0
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
cheesy?
Quite.
Even though the ugly lights are shining bright, you still look beautiful.
---
0
There aren't enough "O"'s in the word "smooth" to describe how smooth you are.
---
0
This is incredible. This is the first time that this has ever happened to us. (What?) Each one of my 27 personalities found you cute!
---
0
If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.
---
0
Wow, you have some sweet birthin' hips.
---
0
(Walk up to them and touch them) Thank God, I thought that you were only an illusion(mirage).
---
0
If beauty were a grain of sand, you'd be a million beaches.
---
0
Is that your date, or did your brother get a new dress?
---
0
You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.
---
0
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
---
0
If it weren't for that DAMNED sun, you'd be the hottest thing ever created.
---
0
That's a nice watch [Thank you] Actually, that's a nice dress. [Again, thank you] Come to think of it, everything is nice on you.
---
0
Did the Lord steal the thunder from the skies and put them in your thighs?
---
0
Are those implants?
Is that flattery, or "flattery"?
0
Are you a bird collector? 'Cause you've got a nice set of hooters.
---
0
Excuse me, is that your perfume that you are wearing?
---
0
How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me.
---
0
I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.
---
0
(Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Person: What are you doing?!?!? You: Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. Person: WHAT?!?!? You: Well it has to be illegal to look that good!
---
0
You are a 9.9999. You'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
---
0
Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
1
1
When God made you, he was showing off.
---
0
(Bump into someone) If I knew how hot you were I would have grabbed your ass instead of bumping into you.
---
0
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
---
0
Hey, don't frown - you'll never know who might be falling in love with your smile.
---
0
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.
---
0
My ex-girlfriend used to call me Goldfinger.
---
0
If all the stars in the sky were summed, not even words that many times stronger than "beautiful" could ever be used to describe you.
---
0
You're so hot, I bet you could light a candel at 10 paces.
---
0
How much did it cost? (What?) The surgery that made you so hot!
---
0
Are you a bad load of laundry? You make my pants feel two sizes too small.
---
0
If you were a laser gun, you'd be set on stunning.
---
0
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porshe.
---
0
The drink: \$6. The room: $100. The night with you?: Priceless.
---
0
Listen to this: my buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful boy/girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
---
0
You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!
---
0
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
---
0
Have you seen my enormous jar of "Penis Reducing Cream"?
---
0
You know at this angle as the lights hit your eyes [start fixing hair] I can see myself and I look great." Then smile, and sheepishly say "just kidding."
---
0
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
---
0
You wet? I'd bet you are after looking at me.
---
0
You're so fine, I'd suck your daddy's dick just to get some of where that came from.
---
0
I can't believe I've been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye".
20
20
I had your sister last year, she sucked. Wanna defend your family honor?
---
0
Hey baby, you've got somthing on your butt: my eyes.
---
0
This isn't a beer belly, It'a a fuel tank for a love machine.
2
0 (I have no idea why...)
Are those your breasts or are they Siamese Watermelons?
---
0
I don't know you, but I think I love you already.
1
1
You look beautiful today, just like every other day.
---
0
Walk up and say, "Yes?" "What?" "Oh, my friend told me that you wanted to make out with me because I'm the finest thing you have seen all night."
---
0
Are you an interior decorator? When i saw you the room became beautiful.
---
0
You know I'd like to invite you over, but I'm afraid you're so hot you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.
---
0
Ok, quick, you go in the toilets and get me some condoms and meet me back here in five minutes... In the meantime I'll go and get you some breath mints...
---
0
You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 30.
10
5
Scientists call me a medical miracle.
---
0
[You] Here are my keys [Other] Why? [You] Here's the key to my house, my car,...and my heart.
---
0
You had better direct that beauty and femininity somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
---
0
Pardon me, I don't mean to make a pass, but you must be leavin' the country if you're packin' that much ass.
---
0
Why is it that every time you are around, my pants feel tighter?
---
0
When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
17
16
Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.
---
0
Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
---
0
Fat Penguin. WHAT? I just thought I'd say something to break the ice.
---
0
You know that I think about you only twice a day? Once when my eyes are open, and once when they are closed.
---
0
You're so flat, I don't know if you're walking forwareds or backwards.
---
0
Two words explain me when I'm not with you. Jergens Lotion.
---
0
Baby, you must be a slut because you give out more ass than a donkey dealership.
---
0
How much do you cost? I've got a dollar, how much change would I get back?
---
0
If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would chose winning the lottery...but it would be close...real close...
---
0
Is that a fox on your shoulder, or am I seeing double?
---
0
Will you be my derivative? I'll be the area under your curves.
---
0
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
---
0
Do you like pool, cause I've got the balls if you've got the rack. (or vice versa)
---
0
Damn, Sugar, settle down. I'm diabetic.
10
10
You need $20 and a friend. Give friend the $20. Walk up to target. Friend says, "You're right. Those are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." Hands you the $20 and walks away.
**DAMN, you need a friend!**
0
So last night I had the same dream over and over - always the same thing, but in a different location every time. I kept dreaming that I was asking you out, but every time before you answered, I woke up, and I'm dying to know what your answer was.
---
0
Tonight, you know you will be sitting on your bed and you will be holding your pillow close to your chest and wish it were me pressing against your chest.
---
0
From across the bare you looked a little on the heavy side, but as you got closer I noticed you were ugly too!
---
0
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
---
0
(If s/he is looking at you)You know, my mother always told me it was impolite to stare... so what do you say we dance?
8
8
Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!
---
0
See these keys? Ya like em? I wish I had the one to your heart.
---
0
Excuse me I have a problem and I wonder if you can help me? (O.K. I'll see what I can do. What is your problem?) I have every S.T.D. in the book except for one and I think you can give it to me!
---
0
Hey baby. I'm single. Do you believe that shit?
1
1
Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!
---
0
Is that shirt Camel Skin? 'Cause I'm checkin' out your humps!
---
0
You could make a glass eye cry...
---
0
I think that your attractive and simply amazing from what I've seen so far. Can I get your number and meet your personality.
---
0
All the other girls are just rough Drafts .... but i think you are the FINAL COPY!!
---
0
Are you a hands-on-learner? Because I am, and I'd like to learn about you...
---
0
Way to go God!!!
---
0
If God had a refrigerator, a picture of you would be on it.
---
0
Your voice sounds like sandpaper grated over a cheese grater.
---
0
I bet your name is Jesus, because you look like you came from heaven!
---
Wow. Sacrilegiously lame.
You don't look too bad, I'm guessing you only got hit once in the face with that sack of nickels, right?
---
0
Bitch, give me some of that disease!
---
0
You look so hot that I could cook rice on you!
---
Wow. Ethnic-insensitively lame.
You're hotter than donut grease.
---
0
You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
---
0
I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.
---
0
A thousand painters working for a thousand years could not create a beauty that equals you.
---
0
Did you know its a felony in this state to look that good, but if you turn around I'll let you off with a warning.
---
0
If you were on hotornot.com, I would give you a ten.
---
0
There are only two beautiful girls in the world, and you are both of them.
---
0
Your good looks don't intimidate me. (Walk away)
---
0
If you could put a price tag on beauty you'd be worth more than Fort Knox.
---
0
Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet bowl.
---
0
Baby, you're so hot, you make the North Pole look like the equator.
---
0
You're so hot, I'd better smother you with my body before you burst into flame!
---
0
When I grow up, i want to have a beautiful daughter. So can I ask your parents how they made you be that way?
---
0
Did you fall out of the sky? That would explain what happened to your face.
---
0
You know, they say that behind every beautiful woman there is a beautiful behind. Well, your ass is gorgeous.
---
0
(Sounding official) Excuse me, we have a problem here. You see that table over there? It has one too many chairs at it. Would you like to join me?
4
4
I must be dancing with the devil, because you're hot as hell.
---
0
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
---
0
You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!
---
0
What is your occupation? I would've guessed interior decorator--you sure make this place seem a lot nicer.
---
0
I'm not trying to pick you up or anything because you are kind of heavy.
---
0
Will you be my sweet-ass bitch for the prom?
---
0
I'd buy my way into your heart if I thought it had a price.
---
0
What is your name? That's a nice name. It's my dog's name.
---
0
You're so beautiful you make me wish I was straight.
---
0
Your pussy is really loose, can I touch your caboose?
---
0
Do you have a tag for that rack?
---
0
Do you play softball? Because you are really soft.
---
0
I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.
---
0
If you were a steak you would be well done.
---
0
It's a good thing your ass is so fat, because it takes the attention off of your face.
---
0
Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.
---
0
If I judged you on a 1 to 10 scale, I'd give you a '9.9'. It would be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
---
0
Hello, I am God. Will you be my angel?
---
0
Are you always this hot or did you just steal the sun?
---
0
Your ex was just too stupid to not admit that there was no flower in the gardens in heaven and Earth that are as beautiful as you.
---
0
Are you Jeff's girlfriend? No? Don't you know Jeff? He told me he was dating the MOST PERFECT ANGEL IN TOWN I saw you here and assumed it was you.
---
0
Your boyfriend/girlfriend has got to be the luckiest person in the world. But, are you happy? Call me.
---
0
I am going to go downstairs later to find some hotties. Would you like to go downstairs so we could find you?
---
0
Hey Cutie. No, not you, but your body.
---
0
Hey, do you like dancing? Go over there and dance so I can talk to your friend.
---
0
It's dark in here. Wait! It's because all of the light is shining on you.
---
0
Pick up Lines
Pick up Lines
What?: What do these mean?
(leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.
0
0
Are we related? Do you want to be?
0
0
Can you say Constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.
0
0
Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee. (laugh profusely)
0
0
Do you know how to use a whip?
0
0
Drop 'em!
0
0
Excuse me, do you live around here often?
0
0
Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
0
0
Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
0
0
Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?
0
0
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
0
0
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
0
0
I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...
0
0
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
0
0
I'm drunk.
0
0
I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
0
0
I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
0
0
If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.
0
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
0
0
Like the look of your crotch.
0
0
Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
0
0
Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.
0
0
Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
0
0
Say, did we go to different schools together?
0
0
That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh.
0
0
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??
0
0
Why you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across!
0
0
Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
0
0
Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
0
0
Would you like to see me naked ??
0
0
Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself?
0
0
You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?
0
0
You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
0
0
You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
0
0
You know what I like about you? My arms.
0
0
You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.
0
0
You know, my mother says you have the smoothest complexion of anyone she knows.
0
0
You look just like my mother.
0
0
You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
0
0
You remind me of a girl I used to date.
0
0
You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.
0
0
You're 'No Parking' right? Just trying to guess your sign.
0
0
Your name is Laura, huh? Can I call you Laura? Really, what time?
0
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Are my undies showing? Answer: "No." You: "Would you like them to?
1
0
I'd walk a million miles over broken glass just to meet the guy that fucked you last.
---
0
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
---
0
Excuse me , she says "Uh huh", do you have any Grey Poupon? no? well we can still get the sandwich action going on baby....
---
0
hey baby, can i feel your Ginsana? (No.) Wanna feel mine?
0
0
Do you like clocks? (Yes.) Put two hands and a face on this. (Point down)
---
0
Do you like chocolate? (Yes.) You can have my bar.
---
0
Beer is the root of all evil. Give me a beer. I'm a WICKED root!
---
0
Hey baby... you got any diseases? Want some?
---
0
I'm an iceberg on a summer's day in South Carolina.
---
0
Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!!!
---
0
Pardon me, do you mind if I push in your stool?
---
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would flip the M and W (double you).
1
1
If belly buttons were a status symbol, then baby you would be God.
---
0
Have you ever seen a tree branch? [Girl] Yes. [Guy] How about a root?
---
0
I have four words for you "Hol I Day Inn".
1
1
I am not a queen but I'll give you something royal.
0
0
Is your name Brandy? Because your the best liqueur I have ever had.
---
0
Does an elephant taking a shit make you want to fuck everything around you?
---
0
Do you want a worm-do? (Whats a worm do?) It does this..(Move your finger like a worm~~~~~~)
---
0
I'd call this puppy love but I'm not into all those new positions.
---
0
Wow, your eyebrows are thick.
---
0
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
---
0
I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
---
0
Are you an Emerson? Because those are some nice tits!
---
0
You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I can't stop ya.
5
3
Your hair is so soft. Do you use Paul Mitchell products?
---
0
You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
---
0
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
---
0
(if your name is Dan) Did you know my name backwards is "Nad"?
---
0
Hey baby, I think you made my two by four into a four by eight.
---
0
I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
---
0
Have you ever heard of the naked pretzel? Ok, sit on my magical lap and we'll see what rises!
---
0
Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
---
0
Buy me a beer, will ya hon?
---
0
You look like my mommy. I like my mommy.
---
0
What the hell are you looking at?
---
0
(go up to a table and whip it out) Charlie!! Anyone you recognize?
---
0
Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Kablaam"?
---
0
Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
---
0
Someone vacuum my lap, I think you need a clean place to sit.
---
0
Excuse me, but do you have the temperature?
---
0
I want you to have my children (pause) GREAT! They are in the car outside..
---
0
If I was hungry for crabs would you spread your legs for me?
---
0
Do you have a license for that wagon you're draggin'?
---
0
Were you staring at my crotch?
---
0
Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.
---
0
Can I impregnate you with my Demon spawn?
---
0
You can stand next to me as long as you don't talk about the heat.
---
0
Hey, you've got a lawyer's ass. Yip, it's firm.
---
0
So, are you a Skinner or a fucker?
---
0
Like Motel 6, I'll leave the light on for you.
---
0
Can I ASS you a question?
---
0
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
---
0
Bitch, you without me is like Harry Melvin without Bluenotes: You'll never go platinum.
Did that make sense?
Nope.
o you like to drink through straws?
---
0
Hi, my name is Peter. Wanna find out why?
---
0
Ever seen the movie "Fear"?
---
0
What color is your shit?
---
0
If you were the alphabet, I'd place you under "O"!
---
0
I cannot believe what a complete slut you are.
---
0
If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? (No.) Well, I don't, so let's go.
---
0
Are you an oscillating fan? 'Cause your phone is ringing.
---
0
Hey Bitches!!! Free Cociane!!
---
0
How do you know that I'm not loving you now?
---
0
Do you know that the Edmonton Oilers haven't won the Stanley Cup for a while now.
---
0
Will you be my christmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.
---
0
Your eyes remind me of diamonds, because diamonds are expensive, and so are eye replacements, and baby- you need eye replacements.
---
0
Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
---
0
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
---
Actually, not that bad...
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
---
0
Would you like to shake hands with beef?
---
0
I'm not a chef or a dancer, but I can pop cherries
A dancer?
0
I treat a bitch like seven up, I never have, I never will.
---
0
Excuse me, but why is your moose drinking my cheese?
---
0
How do you make a chicken run? Hold on, and I'll have my little brother show you.
---
0
You'd make a bishop kick out a stained-glass window.
---
0
Do you come here often or wait till you get home?
---
0
Have you ever wondered what a vaginal blood fart smelt like?(No) Cool....me neither.
---
0
Are you cold? (Yes) You want a jacket? (Sure) Well, not here, you can jack it when you get back to my room.
---
0
In Venezuela only real men have big mustaches.
Works if you've got a mustache, or not!
0
Baby I've got one- help me make it two!
---
0
Here, you take my lollypop and I'll improvise...
---
0
Hi my name is _____! Can I pee in your butt?
Be sure to use a fake name.
0
Hey sexy. I like shoelaces, bow-ties, and motorized wheelchairs. Wanna go back to my place and use all three?
---
0
If you were yogurt, would you be fruit at the bottom or stirred?
---
0
If you were the Virgin Mary, could I bless you?
---
0
Excuse me, but I think I left your sunglasses in your pocket. Mind if I check?
---
0
What's wrong with the chics in here? They just don't like gorgeous guys anymore...
---
0
If I look the way you look when you walk, I'd walk everywhere I went.
WHAT!?!
0
One day there was a bird. This was a magical bird that sang all day. It had many jolly frolicking happy prancing friends that sang songs of joy and happiness. Whenever they flew by the flowers they became happy too. Then everything died. Now doesn't that just turn you on?
---
0
If you have oral-sex with your own clone,would that be called masturbation?
2
2
So....I heard you wanted to fight me.
---
0
Are those shoes, cause that is a cool calender!
---
0
I just shit in my pants. Can I get into yours?
---
0
People say that masturbating will make you go blind, if that were true, not only would i be blind, but my seeing eyedog would have vision problems.
---
0
Hi, I was just wondering? Do you wipe front-to-back or back-to-front?
---
0
Oak tree leaves are green in the fall and your pants are red in the hall.
---
0
Are you gay? Cause if you are, I just got castrated!
---
0
Can I get you a cold banana?
---
0
Ya know, if Ivanna Trump married Neil Diamond, she'd be Ivanna Diamond. And if Ivanna Trump married Chris Rock, she'd be Ivanna Rock. If Ivanna Trump Married Tom Cruise, she'd be Ivanna Cruise.
---
0
I once knew a squirrel named Marvin. God your hot. Marvin is in Africa now.
---
0
Excuse me, are you well protected?
---
0
Hey baby, everything I'm going to do to you tonight I learned at SeaWorld.
---
0
You can't be first, but you could be next.
---
0
What's the difference between the stay puff marshmallow man and a stay-puff marshmallow? The marshmallow will fit in your vagina.
---
0
I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.
---
0
Tuesday is coming! Did you bring your coat?
---
0
Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!
101
31
So, do you like turtles?
---
0
Driving and my penis...they are both hard for you.
Huh!?!
0
You, Me, and a midget makes three.
---
0
You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can't.
---
0
Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
---
0
I've got a big nose, big hands, and really big feet. That's right, I'm a clown.
---
0
Wanna see a trick I learned in prison?
---
0
You know, its girls like you that make me wish I were a lesbian.
---
0
I wana spank you with a sack of kidney beans while you cover yourself in whip cream and let a horny duck named jeff lick it off you.
---
0
I didn't know that Miss America used to live right here.
---
0
You can touch mine if I can touch yours with mine.
---
0
I%u2019d say oral sex with your clone is masturbation. Wouldn%u2019t you? Either way, if I were you, I%u2019d fuck myself. You know, I hear we are what we eat. Want to masturbate?
---
0
I don't know if you know this, but I have a driver's license.
---
0
Given that true intellectual and emotional compatibility are at the very least difficult, if not impossible, we could always opt for the more temporal gratification of physical attraction. That wouldn't make you a shallow, would it?
---
0
You see my friend over there? Good. I thought the drugs were starting to make me hallucinate.
---
0
I make more money than you can spend.
---
0
Is this your house key? Could I have one?
---
0
If you were suddenly transported to the sun because of an evil scheme devised by an evil Russian chicken and asked to take off your clothes and make love to the burning flames and then recite the presidents in alphabetical order by their middle name while juggling 11 midgets holding soda cans between your two front teeth that will be operated on by 86 evil Czechoslovakian dentists named Farkus who got their degrees studying the taste buds of Tom Selleck at a college named after some guy who wasted away his life by eating pork grinds naked in his mom's basement while searching for pictures of Kirsten Dunst to use for purposes that cannot be explained by the 1972 Junior High class of some school that no one cares about in Eastern Idaho where woodland creatures choose to spend their lives trying to recreate some bad 1940's soap opera instead of frolicking happily in the woods, would you prefer chocolate ice cream or vanilla?
---
0
What color is your toothbrush?
---
0
I what to become a STUD. You know, you can't spell stud without STD and U.
---
0
You owe me a drink! (Why?) Why not?
---
0
You know how they say guys are full of shit, well that may be true, but I just got my colon cleaned today.
---
0
I'm hung like a tic tac. Freshen your breath?
---
0
Yesterday I wanted to take I shower. I pulled back the curtain and there was a rhinoceros and a giraffe in the tub. They were eating cheese and they said "Hi."
---
0
I have this vacuum but it seems to be be broken. Can you blow in it and see if it spits everything out?
---
0
Your boyfriend/girlfriend tells me your great in bed.
What?: What do these mean?
(leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.
0
0
Are we related? Do you want to be?
0
0
Can you say Constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.
0
0
Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee. (laugh profusely)
0
0
Do you know how to use a whip?
0
0
Drop 'em!
0
0
Excuse me, do you live around here often?
0
0
Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
0
0
Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
0
0
Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?
0
0
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
0
0
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
0
0
I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...
0
0
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
0
0
I'm drunk.
0
0
I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
0
0
I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
0
0
If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.
0
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
0
0
Like the look of your crotch.
0
0
Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
0
0
Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.
0
0
Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
0
0
Say, did we go to different schools together?
0
0
That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh.
0
0
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??
0
0
Why you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across!
0
0
Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
0
0
Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
0
0
Would you like to see me naked ??
0
0
Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself?
0
0
You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?
0
0
You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
0
0
You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
0
0
You know what I like about you? My arms.
0
0
You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.
0
0
You know, my mother says you have the smoothest complexion of anyone she knows.
0
0
You look just like my mother.
0
0
You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
0
0
You remind me of a girl I used to date.
0
0
You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.
0
0
You're 'No Parking' right? Just trying to guess your sign.
0
0
Your name is Laura, huh? Can I call you Laura? Really, what time?
0
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Are my undies showing? Answer: "No." You: "Would you like them to?
1
0
I'd walk a million miles over broken glass just to meet the guy that fucked you last.
---
0
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
---
0
Excuse me , she says "Uh huh", do you have any Grey Poupon? no? well we can still get the sandwich action going on baby....
---
0
hey baby, can i feel your Ginsana? (No.) Wanna feel mine?
0
0
Do you like clocks? (Yes.) Put two hands and a face on this. (Point down)
---
0
Do you like chocolate? (Yes.) You can have my bar.
---
0
Beer is the root of all evil. Give me a beer. I'm a WICKED root!
---
0
Hey baby... you got any diseases? Want some?
---
0
I'm an iceberg on a summer's day in South Carolina.
---
0
Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!!!
---
0
Pardon me, do you mind if I push in your stool?
---
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would flip the M and W (double you).
1
1
If belly buttons were a status symbol, then baby you would be God.
---
0
Have you ever seen a tree branch? [Girl] Yes. [Guy] How about a root?
---
0
I have four words for you "Hol I Day Inn".
1
1
I am not a queen but I'll give you something royal.
0
0
Is your name Brandy? Because your the best liqueur I have ever had.
---
0
Does an elephant taking a shit make you want to fuck everything around you?
---
0
Do you want a worm-do? (Whats a worm do?) It does this..(Move your finger like a worm~~~~~~)
---
0
I'd call this puppy love but I'm not into all those new positions.
---
0
Wow, your eyebrows are thick.
---
0
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
---
0
I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
---
0
Are you an Emerson? Because those are some nice tits!
---
0
You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I can't stop ya.
5
3
Your hair is so soft. Do you use Paul Mitchell products?
---
0
You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
---
0
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
---
0
(if your name is Dan) Did you know my name backwards is "Nad"?
---
0
Hey baby, I think you made my two by four into a four by eight.
---
0
I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
---
0
Have you ever heard of the naked pretzel? Ok, sit on my magical lap and we'll see what rises!
---
0
Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
---
0
Buy me a beer, will ya hon?
---
0
You look like my mommy. I like my mommy.
---
0
What the hell are you looking at?
---
0
(go up to a table and whip it out) Charlie!! Anyone you recognize?
---
0
Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Kablaam"?
---
0
Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
---
0
Someone vacuum my lap, I think you need a clean place to sit.
---
0
Excuse me, but do you have the temperature?
---
0
I want you to have my children (pause) GREAT! They are in the car outside..
---
0
If I was hungry for crabs would you spread your legs for me?
---
0
Do you have a license for that wagon you're draggin'?
---
0
Were you staring at my crotch?
---
0
Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.
---
0
Can I impregnate you with my Demon spawn?
---
0
You can stand next to me as long as you don't talk about the heat.
---
0
Hey, you've got a lawyer's ass. Yip, it's firm.
---
0
So, are you a Skinner or a fucker?
---
0
Like Motel 6, I'll leave the light on for you.
---
0
Can I ASS you a question?
---
0
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
---
0
Bitch, you without me is like Harry Melvin without Bluenotes: You'll never go platinum.
Did that make sense?
Nope.
o you like to drink through straws?
---
0
Hi, my name is Peter. Wanna find out why?
---
0
Ever seen the movie "Fear"?
---
0
What color is your shit?
---
0
If you were the alphabet, I'd place you under "O"!
---
0
I cannot believe what a complete slut you are.
---
0
If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? (No.) Well, I don't, so let's go.
---
0
Are you an oscillating fan? 'Cause your phone is ringing.
---
0
Hey Bitches!!! Free Cociane!!
---
0
How do you know that I'm not loving you now?
---
0
Do you know that the Edmonton Oilers haven't won the Stanley Cup for a while now.
---
0
Will you be my christmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.
---
0
Your eyes remind me of diamonds, because diamonds are expensive, and so are eye replacements, and baby- you need eye replacements.
---
0
Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
---
0
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
---
Actually, not that bad...
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
---
0
Would you like to shake hands with beef?
---
0
I'm not a chef or a dancer, but I can pop cherries
A dancer?
0
I treat a bitch like seven up, I never have, I never will.
---
0
Excuse me, but why is your moose drinking my cheese?
---
0
How do you make a chicken run? Hold on, and I'll have my little brother show you.
---
0
You'd make a bishop kick out a stained-glass window.
---
0
Do you come here often or wait till you get home?
---
0
Have you ever wondered what a vaginal blood fart smelt like?(No) Cool....me neither.
---
0
Are you cold? (Yes) You want a jacket? (Sure) Well, not here, you can jack it when you get back to my room.
---
0
In Venezuela only real men have big mustaches.
Works if you've got a mustache, or not!
0
Baby I've got one- help me make it two!
---
0
Here, you take my lollypop and I'll improvise...
---
0
Hi my name is _____! Can I pee in your butt?
Be sure to use a fake name.
0
Hey sexy. I like shoelaces, bow-ties, and motorized wheelchairs. Wanna go back to my place and use all three?
---
0
If you were yogurt, would you be fruit at the bottom or stirred?
---
0
If you were the Virgin Mary, could I bless you?
---
0
Excuse me, but I think I left your sunglasses in your pocket. Mind if I check?
---
0
What's wrong with the chics in here? They just don't like gorgeous guys anymore...
---
0
If I look the way you look when you walk, I'd walk everywhere I went.
WHAT!?!
0
One day there was a bird. This was a magical bird that sang all day. It had many jolly frolicking happy prancing friends that sang songs of joy and happiness. Whenever they flew by the flowers they became happy too. Then everything died. Now doesn't that just turn you on?
---
0
If you have oral-sex with your own clone,would that be called masturbation?
2
2
So....I heard you wanted to fight me.
---
0
Are those shoes, cause that is a cool calender!
---
0
I just shit in my pants. Can I get into yours?
---
0
People say that masturbating will make you go blind, if that were true, not only would i be blind, but my seeing eyedog would have vision problems.
---
0
Hi, I was just wondering? Do you wipe front-to-back or back-to-front?
---
0
Oak tree leaves are green in the fall and your pants are red in the hall.
---
0
Are you gay? Cause if you are, I just got castrated!
---
0
Can I get you a cold banana?
---
0
Ya know, if Ivanna Trump married Neil Diamond, she'd be Ivanna Diamond. And if Ivanna Trump married Chris Rock, she'd be Ivanna Rock. If Ivanna Trump Married Tom Cruise, she'd be Ivanna Cruise.
---
0
I once knew a squirrel named Marvin. God your hot. Marvin is in Africa now.
---
0
Excuse me, are you well protected?
---
0
Hey baby, everything I'm going to do to you tonight I learned at SeaWorld.
---
0
You can't be first, but you could be next.
---
0
What's the difference between the stay puff marshmallow man and a stay-puff marshmallow? The marshmallow will fit in your vagina.
---
0
I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.
---
0
Tuesday is coming! Did you bring your coat?
---
0
Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!
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So, do you like turtles?
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Driving and my penis...they are both hard for you.
Huh!?!
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You, Me, and a midget makes three.
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You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can't.
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Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
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I've got a big nose, big hands, and really big feet. That's right, I'm a clown.
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Wanna see a trick I learned in prison?
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You know, its girls like you that make me wish I were a lesbian.
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I wana spank you with a sack of kidney beans while you cover yourself in whip cream and let a horny duck named jeff lick it off you.
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I didn't know that Miss America used to live right here.
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You can touch mine if I can touch yours with mine.
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I%u2019d say oral sex with your clone is masturbation. Wouldn%u2019t you? Either way, if I were you, I%u2019d fuck myself. You know, I hear we are what we eat. Want to masturbate?
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I don't know if you know this, but I have a driver's license.
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Given that true intellectual and emotional compatibility are at the very least difficult, if not impossible, we could always opt for the more temporal gratification of physical attraction. That wouldn't make you a shallow, would it?
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You see my friend over there? Good. I thought the drugs were starting to make me hallucinate.
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I make more money than you can spend.
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Is this your house key? Could I have one?
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If you were suddenly transported to the sun because of an evil scheme devised by an evil Russian chicken and asked to take off your clothes and make love to the burning flames and then recite the presidents in alphabetical order by their middle name while juggling 11 midgets holding soda cans between your two front teeth that will be operated on by 86 evil Czechoslovakian dentists named Farkus who got their degrees studying the taste buds of Tom Selleck at a college named after some guy who wasted away his life by eating pork grinds naked in his mom's basement while searching for pictures of Kirsten Dunst to use for purposes that cannot be explained by the 1972 Junior High class of some school that no one cares about in Eastern Idaho where woodland creatures choose to spend their lives trying to recreate some bad 1940's soap opera instead of frolicking happily in the woods, would you prefer chocolate ice cream or vanilla?
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What color is your toothbrush?
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I what to become a STUD. You know, you can't spell stud without STD and U.
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You owe me a drink! (Why?) Why not?
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You know how they say guys are full of shit, well that may be true, but I just got my colon cleaned today.
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I'm hung like a tic tac. Freshen your breath?
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Yesterday I wanted to take I shower. I pulled back the curtain and there was a rhinoceros and a giraffe in the tub. They were eating cheese and they said "Hi."
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I have this vacuum but it seems to be be broken. Can you blow in it and see if it spits everything out?
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Your boyfriend/girlfriend tells me your great in bed.
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