(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
5
1
"Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
2
0
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
1
0
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
0
0
Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!
0
0
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
2
0
Can I flirt with you?
1
0
Can I please be your slave tonight?
0
0
Can I see your tan lines?
0
0
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
0
0
Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
0
0
Congratulations! You have just been voted "Most Beautiful Boy/Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
0
0
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I could see myself in your pants.
0
0
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
0
0
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
0
0
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
0
0
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
3
1
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
0
0
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
4
1
Do you spit or swallow?
6
3
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
0
0
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
4
1
Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
0
0
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
0
0
Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
1
0
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
1
0
God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
0
0
Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
9
0
Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
60
4
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
4
3
Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
0
0
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
0
0
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
0
0
Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
1
0
Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
4
1
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
4
3
Hi. Are you legal?
0
0
Hi. You'll do.
0
0
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
0
0
How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
0
0
Hand out phone card that says: "Smile if you want to sleep with me."
0
0
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
0
0
I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
6
0
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
0
0
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
4
0
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
0
0
I wonder what our children will look like.
0
0
I would kill or die to make love with you.
0
0
I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
10
0
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
1
0
I'd look good on you.
0
0
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
1
0
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
1
0
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
2
1
I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?
0
0
I've got a condom with your name on it.
3
0
I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?
0
0
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
0
0
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
6
0
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
Only used by the King
Only works for the King
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
7
0
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
0
0
Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
7
3
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
0
0
Lie down. I think I love you.
2
1
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
2
0
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
0
0
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
8
0
Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
0
0
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
0
0
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
0
0
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
0
0
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
10
0
That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
0
0
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
0
0
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
2
0
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
0
0
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
1
0
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
0
0
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
0
0
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
14
0
Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
0
0
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
0
0
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
0
0
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
7
0
What do you like for breakfast?
0
0
(Do you have a match?) How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
1
0
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
0
0
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
6
5
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
1
0
Will you marry me for just one night?
0
0
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
0
0
Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
0
0
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
10
0
Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
0
0
Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow night.
0
0
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
4
0
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
9
0
You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
9
0
You smell wet. Let's Party.
6
0
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
10
0
Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
6
0
Pick Up Lines 2
I wish you were a screen door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long!
0
0
Let's go get liquored up and rape each other.
5
1
Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
0
0
Chick do now.
804,147(or so one guy claims)
0
I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
---
0
Nice legs, lets eat out.
---
0
Hey! Wanna play war? (replies)WHAT? (you)Yea, I lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
---
0
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
---
0
You touch his shirt and ask, "Is this cotton?" Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, "Oh, this must be felt."
---
0
Hi my name is (your name), did I mention I have a penis.
---
0
My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
0
0
Show me your pussy!
---
0
Are you going to the party tonight (what party?) The one in your mouth, everybody's cumming.
---
0
If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?
19
0
If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? (if she says no) say Good, because mine is 8 inches.
17
1
I know where there is a good party, they've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear.
---
0
Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!
---
0
Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the taste of your vagina!
---
0
I'd rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in
---
0
Dah, wanna see my dink?
---
0
(silently mouth) I want a fig newton.
---
0
Do you have a beard on your pussy/asshole? (No.) Want one?
---
0
Your chest looks a little sore. Would you like me to numb it?
---
0
Do you wanna lick my tongue?
---
0
Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?
---
0
Do you like apples? (Yes.) How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?
---
0
Do you like jewels? (Yes.) Suck my dick, it's a gem.
---
0
Person #1: hey, you wanna do a 68? Person #2: What? Person #1: You go down, and I'll owe you one.
---
0
Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I'm nice.
---
0
Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length of the penis is six inches, the average female received two hundred and sixteen inches or fifteen feet per intercourse. Three times per week, fifty two weeks in a year, so, 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just over a mile and a half. If you are not getting your mile and a half, why not let me help out?
---
0
Tell me how my cum tastes.
---
0
First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
1
1
I've got a great big cock!
---
0
You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
---
0
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I like Spaghetti, Let's go fuck!
---
0
Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
---
0
Do you cheesy lines or do you just want to do it?
---
0
May i pleasure you with my tongue?
---
0
Wanna go 50-50 on a rape charge?
---
0
I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
---
0
(walk up to the bar and sit down in the seat next to them. While looking at them, order a drink and drink it down) Well, we can't fuck here!
---
0
Fuck me, I'm beautiful enough to be with you all night.
---
0
So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
---
0
Hi I'm (your name) I swallow
---
0
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
---
0
Mines bigger than his want proof?
---
0
I got a 14 inch cock, why don't you come home with me and I'll let you ride it.
---
0
You are rubber, I'm glue, what ever you say, I bet I will fuck you.
---
0
Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.
---
0
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
---
0
I would fuck you so hard, you'd learn from it.
---
0
Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead!
---
0
Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
yikes
0
Happy hour's over but it's still going strong at my place.
---
0
Whip it out and show me what you got, so I can save the disappointment from later.
---
0
Do you have any tacos on you? (No.) In that case, will you make out with me?
---
0
Would you fuck a complete stranger? (No) Then Hi, my name is...
---
0
Are you gay? (No.) Wow, me neither, let's have sex.
---
0
Hi. Last night, a little leprechaun came up to me and told me that if you don't have sex with me tonight, your(or my) dick is going to fall off. We don't want that now do we?
---
0
I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first participant?
---
0
If I washed my dick, would you suck it? (No.) Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.
---
0
Let's go fuck in a brand new limo.
---
0
Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna fuck?
---
0
Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "Fuck it".
---
0
love is a sensation; caused by a temptation; to feel penetration; a guy sticks his location; in a girl's destination; to increase the population; for the next generation; did you get my explanation; or do you need a demonstration?
---
0
Nice fucking weather. Want to?
---
0
Wanna fuck, or should I call my lawyer?
---
0
Hi, my name is Guerrermo. I eat pussy like a woman.
---
0
You remind me of a blue ribbon bass. I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
2
1
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under...
---
0
I'm not a slut, I'm just popular. Wanna fuck me and be the Big Man on Campus?
0
0
You know, you really piss me off. You are the most disgusting bitch I have ever seen. Absolutely disgraceful. Wanna suck my hairy balls?
---
0
And why not!?!
You -will- go home with me tonight.
0
Ah, the Jedi mind trick finally finds a good use...
0
I ran out of Viagra. Can I use you?
---
0
Do you know what part of the tongue registers the "salty taste? Why don't you blow me and find out?
---
0
Excuse me, but I think that you are too drunk to drive. Can you recite the alphabet backwards? [Does it] Next, I need for you to bend over and spell "RUN".
---
0
Can you lick your nipples? [No.] Can I?
---
0
Alright, let's go... I'll give you a half hour.
---
---
I'm not an expert in hardware, but I know that you'd be able to screw my nuts off.
---
---
(put out hand) Give me five. (after they give you five, leave your hand up) Give me elbow. (after they give you elbow, leave your hand up) Give me shoulder. (after they give you shoulder, leave your hand up) Give me nose. (after they give you nose, leave your hand up) Give me head.
---
---
Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
---
---
Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?
---
Roses are black?
You've been a bad, bad girl(boy). Go to my room!
10
5
Ever slept in a $5000 bed? Want to?
3
2
This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
3
1
I'm hard. You wet?
---
---
I'm a necrophiliac... How well do you play dead?
---
---
If you won't fuck me, can I fuck you?
---
---
I'm rubber, your glue. Let's have sex.
---
---
I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help....
---
---
You're dead sexy. Get in my pussy!
---
---
I'm scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room & test out all of my condoms?
---
---
The Lord gave us the power to fuck. So, let's go have sex!
---
---
If I was a chipmunk, and you were a bunny,...wait, or was it the other way around...forget it, Wanna screw?
---
---
Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so let's begin.
---
---
What do I have to do to be your booty call?
12
8
If you talk to me, I'll fuck you.
---
---
Do you believe in free love? (Certainly no!) Then how much do you cost?
---
---
I have a 13 inch dick. Remember that, there will be an oral exam later.
---
---
(Stare at her until she says "What!?!") It isn't just gonna suck itself.
---
---
Hey baby, I'll fuck you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.
---
---
Thanks for the blow job last night. (What blow job? I didn't give you one.) You didn't? You owe me one.
---
---
Let's go to your place and love each other until my dick falls in your pussy.
---
---
I'll suck you so hard that you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when I'm finished.
---
---
Do you train cats? (No, why?) Because you just made my pussy cum!
---
---
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
---
---
Let's face it. I'm hot, you're hot and we both know you got a crush on me. And really, who can blame you with a gorgeous face like this. So can I snatch a kiss or vice-versa (that is kiss a snatch).
2
2
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
---
---
I've got a hummer and a vibrator. Which one do you want to test drive first?
---
---
Hi, I'm a representative for Joe Boxer. I'm doing a survey on which brand guys prefer leaving in the corner of the room while having wild sex.
---
---
Do you wanna go back to my place, fuck, then never speak again? I do.
---
---
Ahoy there fair maiden, might I trouble thee for a fisting?
---
---
I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?
---
---
I have an oral fixation with giving oral gratification. If you are willing to receive I am more than willing to give.
---
---
I am participating in the Sexual Olympics multiple orgasm relay race my partner just died of exhaustion. Would you like to help me out?
---
---
I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
---
---
I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. Let's just fuck.
---
---
I'd like to sit and suck on what's hiding behind your zipper.
---
---
You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
---
---
If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart. I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna fuck you.
---
---
You know, looking at you right now, in this light... I could fuck you.
---
---
try me once and if you don't like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? It'd be more if you want foreplay.
---
---
I'm afraid of getting pregnant. Want go up to my room and test all of my condoms?
---
---
So do you fuck, suck and take it up the ass or am I wasting my time on a Jesus freak?
So simple...
...and so brilliant
Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me?
5
4
Grab your jacket, you've scored. Let's go.
3
2
If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricants.
---
---
Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. She'd like your phone number. She wants to know where she can get a hold of me in the morning.
10
8 (not 10!?!)
Hey baby! Wanna play superheroes? I'll be Superman and fuck you faster than a speeding bullet.
---
---
When we are all done fucking each other silly and licking each other beyond reason - at that point it's such a good time neither one of us wants the night to end - you are not gonna think I'm gay, are you?
---
---
Sniff....Sniff... I smell that you are in season, want to breed?
---
---
Life is short. Let's fuck and see if there is anything after that.
---
---
Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't.
2
2
I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Want me to put some words in your mouth??
---
---
How about you be my story and I'll be your climax!
---
---
Do you want to play a game? It's called 'Slob the Knob.'
---
---
What's your favorite sound? My favorite sound is my balls slapping your ass.
---
---
So, I'm not doing anything until 3:00pm tomorrow, you want to get out of here?
---
---
Do you know where the ishium is? How about the fornix? Well, I could tell you where they are, but I would rather show you.
---
---
My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
---
---
The CIA wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you? Repeated?
---
---
Roses are red, widows wear black, what will it take to get you on your back?
---
---
I'm going to fuck myself until I'm unconscious. Want to help?
---
---
I'm just looking for a friend with benefits.
---
---
Hi. I think your friend is really hot. Do you have a ride home or is it just going to be the three of us?
---
---
Excuse me, can I have some sex, in exchange for sex?
---
---
0
0
Let's go get liquored up and rape each other.
5
1
Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
0
0
Chick do now.
804,147(or so one guy claims)
0
I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
---
0
Nice legs, lets eat out.
---
0
Hey! Wanna play war? (replies)WHAT? (you)Yea, I lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
---
0
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
---
0
You touch his shirt and ask, "Is this cotton?" Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, "Oh, this must be felt."
---
0
Hi my name is (your name), did I mention I have a penis.
---
0
My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
0
0
Show me your pussy!
---
0
Are you going to the party tonight (what party?) The one in your mouth, everybody's cumming.
---
0
If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?
19
0
If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? (if she says no) say Good, because mine is 8 inches.
17
1
I know where there is a good party, they've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear.
---
0
Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!
---
0
Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the taste of your vagina!
---
0
I'd rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in
---
0
Dah, wanna see my dink?
---
0
(silently mouth) I want a fig newton.
---
0
Do you have a beard on your pussy/asshole? (No.) Want one?
---
0
Your chest looks a little sore. Would you like me to numb it?
---
0
Do you wanna lick my tongue?
---
0
Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?
---
0
Do you like apples? (Yes.) How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?
---
0
Do you like jewels? (Yes.) Suck my dick, it's a gem.
---
0
Person #1: hey, you wanna do a 68? Person #2: What? Person #1: You go down, and I'll owe you one.
---
0
Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I'm nice.
---
0
Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length of the penis is six inches, the average female received two hundred and sixteen inches or fifteen feet per intercourse. Three times per week, fifty two weeks in a year, so, 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just over a mile and a half. If you are not getting your mile and a half, why not let me help out?
---
0
Tell me how my cum tastes.
---
0
First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
1
1
I've got a great big cock!
---
0
You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
---
0
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I like Spaghetti, Let's go fuck!
---
0
Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
---
0
Do you cheesy lines or do you just want to do it?
---
0
May i pleasure you with my tongue?
---
0
Wanna go 50-50 on a rape charge?
---
0
I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
---
0
(walk up to the bar and sit down in the seat next to them. While looking at them, order a drink and drink it down) Well, we can't fuck here!
---
0
Fuck me, I'm beautiful enough to be with you all night.
---
0
So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
---
0
Hi I'm (your name) I swallow
---
0
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
---
0
Mines bigger than his want proof?
---
0
I got a 14 inch cock, why don't you come home with me and I'll let you ride it.
---
0
You are rubber, I'm glue, what ever you say, I bet I will fuck you.
---
0
Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.
---
0
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
---
0
I would fuck you so hard, you'd learn from it.
---
0
Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead!
---
0
Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
yikes
0
Happy hour's over but it's still going strong at my place.
---
0
Whip it out and show me what you got, so I can save the disappointment from later.
---
0
Do you have any tacos on you? (No.) In that case, will you make out with me?
---
0
Would you fuck a complete stranger? (No) Then Hi, my name is...
---
0
Are you gay? (No.) Wow, me neither, let's have sex.
---
0
Hi. Last night, a little leprechaun came up to me and told me that if you don't have sex with me tonight, your(or my) dick is going to fall off. We don't want that now do we?
---
0
I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first participant?
---
0
If I washed my dick, would you suck it? (No.) Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.
---
0
Let's go fuck in a brand new limo.
---
0
Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna fuck?
---
0
Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "Fuck it".
---
0
love is a sensation; caused by a temptation; to feel penetration; a guy sticks his location; in a girl's destination; to increase the population; for the next generation; did you get my explanation; or do you need a demonstration?
---
0
Nice fucking weather. Want to?
---
0
Wanna fuck, or should I call my lawyer?
---
0
Hi, my name is Guerrermo. I eat pussy like a woman.
---
0
You remind me of a blue ribbon bass. I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
2
1
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under...
---
0
I'm not a slut, I'm just popular. Wanna fuck me and be the Big Man on Campus?
0
0
You know, you really piss me off. You are the most disgusting bitch I have ever seen. Absolutely disgraceful. Wanna suck my hairy balls?
---
0
And why not!?!
You -will- go home with me tonight.
0
Ah, the Jedi mind trick finally finds a good use...
0
I ran out of Viagra. Can I use you?
---
0
Do you know what part of the tongue registers the "salty taste? Why don't you blow me and find out?
---
0
Excuse me, but I think that you are too drunk to drive. Can you recite the alphabet backwards? [Does it] Next, I need for you to bend over and spell "RUN".
---
0
Can you lick your nipples? [No.] Can I?
---
0
Alright, let's go... I'll give you a half hour.
---
---
I'm not an expert in hardware, but I know that you'd be able to screw my nuts off.
---
---
(put out hand) Give me five. (after they give you five, leave your hand up) Give me elbow. (after they give you elbow, leave your hand up) Give me shoulder. (after they give you shoulder, leave your hand up) Give me nose. (after they give you nose, leave your hand up) Give me head.
---
---
Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
---
---
Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?
---
Roses are black?
You've been a bad, bad girl(boy). Go to my room!
10
5
Ever slept in a $5000 bed? Want to?
3
2
This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
3
1
I'm hard. You wet?
---
---
I'm a necrophiliac... How well do you play dead?
---
---
If you won't fuck me, can I fuck you?
---
---
I'm rubber, your glue. Let's have sex.
---
---
I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help....
---
---
You're dead sexy. Get in my pussy!
---
---
I'm scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room & test out all of my condoms?
---
---
The Lord gave us the power to fuck. So, let's go have sex!
---
---
If I was a chipmunk, and you were a bunny,...wait, or was it the other way around...forget it, Wanna screw?
---
---
Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so let's begin.
---
---
What do I have to do to be your booty call?
12
8
If you talk to me, I'll fuck you.
---
---
Do you believe in free love? (Certainly no!) Then how much do you cost?
---
---
I have a 13 inch dick. Remember that, there will be an oral exam later.
---
---
(Stare at her until she says "What!?!") It isn't just gonna suck itself.
---
---
Hey baby, I'll fuck you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.
---
---
Thanks for the blow job last night. (What blow job? I didn't give you one.) You didn't? You owe me one.
---
---
Let's go to your place and love each other until my dick falls in your pussy.
---
---
I'll suck you so hard that you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when I'm finished.
---
---
Do you train cats? (No, why?) Because you just made my pussy cum!
---
---
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
---
---
Let's face it. I'm hot, you're hot and we both know you got a crush on me. And really, who can blame you with a gorgeous face like this. So can I snatch a kiss or vice-versa (that is kiss a snatch).
2
2
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
---
---
I've got a hummer and a vibrator. Which one do you want to test drive first?
---
---
Hi, I'm a representative for Joe Boxer. I'm doing a survey on which brand guys prefer leaving in the corner of the room while having wild sex.
---
---
Do you wanna go back to my place, fuck, then never speak again? I do.
---
---
Ahoy there fair maiden, might I trouble thee for a fisting?
---
---
I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?
---
---
I have an oral fixation with giving oral gratification. If you are willing to receive I am more than willing to give.
---
---
I am participating in the Sexual Olympics multiple orgasm relay race my partner just died of exhaustion. Would you like to help me out?
---
---
I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
---
---
I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. Let's just fuck.
---
---
I'd like to sit and suck on what's hiding behind your zipper.
---
---
You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
---
---
If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart. I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna fuck you.
---
---
You know, looking at you right now, in this light... I could fuck you.
---
---
try me once and if you don't like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? It'd be more if you want foreplay.
---
---
I'm afraid of getting pregnant. Want go up to my room and test all of my condoms?
---
---
So do you fuck, suck and take it up the ass or am I wasting my time on a Jesus freak?
So simple...
...and so brilliant
Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me?
5
4
Grab your jacket, you've scored. Let's go.
3
2
If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricants.
---
---
Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. She'd like your phone number. She wants to know where she can get a hold of me in the morning.
10
8 (not 10!?!)
Hey baby! Wanna play superheroes? I'll be Superman and fuck you faster than a speeding bullet.
---
---
When we are all done fucking each other silly and licking each other beyond reason - at that point it's such a good time neither one of us wants the night to end - you are not gonna think I'm gay, are you?
---
---
Sniff....Sniff... I smell that you are in season, want to breed?
---
---
Life is short. Let's fuck and see if there is anything after that.
---
---
Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't.
2
2
I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Want me to put some words in your mouth??
---
---
How about you be my story and I'll be your climax!
---
---
Do you want to play a game? It's called 'Slob the Knob.'
---
---
What's your favorite sound? My favorite sound is my balls slapping your ass.
---
---
So, I'm not doing anything until 3:00pm tomorrow, you want to get out of here?
---
---
Do you know where the ishium is? How about the fornix? Well, I could tell you where they are, but I would rather show you.
---
---
My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
---
---
The CIA wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you? Repeated?
---
---
Roses are red, widows wear black, what will it take to get you on your back?
---
---
I'm going to fuck myself until I'm unconscious. Want to help?
---
---
I'm just looking for a friend with benefits.
---
---
Hi. I think your friend is really hot. Do you have a ride home or is it just going to be the three of us?
---
---
Excuse me, can I have some sex, in exchange for sex?
---
---
Pick Up Lines
Pick-Up Lines
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
12
1
Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
21
2
Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
16
1
Do you take it up the ass?
17
2
Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
1
0
Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
1
0
Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
0
0
Fancy a fuck?
23
2
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
0
0
Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
23
2
Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
23
2
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
0
0
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
0
0
Go up to a someone at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck... (wait for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?
0
0
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
0
0
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
0
0
Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
29
23
Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
0
0
Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!
0
0
Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs.
0
0
Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
20
2
Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?
0
0
Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
0
0
Hey baby, what do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!?
0
0
Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.
0
0
Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
10
1
Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?
0
0
Hi, I'm a tawdry slut looking for a good time.
0
0
Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
0
0
Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?
120
12
Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?
10
1
I am a magical being, take off your bra.
0
0
I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
0
0
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
10
3
I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
0
0
I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
0
0
I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
120
100
I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!
0
0
I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down.
0
0
I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
0
0
I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
0
0
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
0
0
Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
Not enough
Enough
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
0
0
My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
0
0
My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.
0
0
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
10
1
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
0
0
Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
0
0
NOW, BITCH!
0
0
Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
0
0
Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
0
0
Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
0
0
Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
0
0
Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.
10
1
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
0
0
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
0
0
Wanna fuck like bunnies?
30
3
We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
0
0
What can I do to make you sleep with me?
0
0
What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
0
0
Your face or MINE!?
0
0
Your place or mine?
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
12
1
Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
21
2
Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
16
1
Do you take it up the ass?
17
2
Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
1
0
Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
1
0
Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
0
0
Fancy a fuck?
23
2
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
0
0
Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
23
2
Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
23
2
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
0
0
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
0
0
Go up to a someone at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck... (wait for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?
0
0
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
0
0
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
0
0
Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
29
23
Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
0
0
Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!
0
0
Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs.
0
0
Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
20
2
Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?
0
0
Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
0
0
Hey baby, what do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!?
0
0
Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.
0
0
Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
10
1
Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?
0
0
Hi, I'm a tawdry slut looking for a good time.
0
0
Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
0
0
Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?
120
12
Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?
10
1
I am a magical being, take off your bra.
0
0
I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
0
0
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
10
3
I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
0
0
I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
0
0
I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
120
100
I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!
0
0
I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down.
0
0
I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
0
0
I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
0
0
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
0
0
Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
Not enough
Enough
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
0
0
My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
0
0
My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.
0
0
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
10
1
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
0
0
Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
0
0
NOW, BITCH!
0
0
Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
0
0
Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
0
0
Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
0
0
Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
0
0
Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.
10
1
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
0
0
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
0
0
Wanna fuck like bunnies?
30
3
We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
0
0
What can I do to make you sleep with me?
0
0
What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
0
0
Your face or MINE!?
0
0
Your place or mine?
Replici de agatat
Crezi in dragoste la prima vedere sau mai e nevoie sa mai trec inca o data?
Imi dai si mie o poza, ca sa stiu ce sa ii arat Mosului sa imi aduca de Craciun?
Am avut o zi proasta si intodeauna zambetul unei fete dragute ma inveseleste. Vrei sa imi zambesti?
Ce caine dragut, ce numar de telefon are?
Am invatat cumva la scoli diferite impreuna?
Scuza-ma… am observat ca nu m-ai observat!
Chemati politia. Este ilegal sa aratzi asa de bine.
O sa ma saruti, sau trebuie sa mint in jurnal?
Mi-ai furat inima, dar nu-i nimic, mai am alta in frigider, acasa.
Buna, pot sa iti cumpar o masina?
Fii unica si diferita, spune DA!
Arati asa de bine, incat era sa fac infarct.
Nu sunt beat, ci doar m-ai ametit tu.
Mazgalici ma cheama, dar poti sa imi spui “iubitule”.
Tu: Arati exact ca a doua sotie a mea. Ea: De cate ori ai fost casatorit? Tu: O data.
Te-am urmat pana acasa. O sa ma pastrezi ?
Misto fusta. Pot sa ti-o iau eu ?
Corpul tau e alcatuit 90% din apa si mie mi-e sete.
Trebuie sa sun in Rai si sa zic ca si-au pierdut un inger.
Esti sigura ca nu ne-am mai intalnit in vieti anterioare?
Sunt un hot si am sa iti fur inima!
Poti sa imi dai si mie indicatii catre inima ta?
Felicitari, ai fost alesa “Cea mai frumoasa fata din camera asta”, iar premiul este o intlanire cu mine.
Mai am 3 zile de trait…
Trebuie sa ma insor cu cineva, ca sa nu ma expulzeze.
Avem vreun prieten comun care sa ne faca lipeala?
Tu: Ce iti place sa mananci dimnineata? Ea: De ce? Tu: Ca sa stiu ce iti gatesc maine dimineata.
Vroiam sa arat acestor flori cat de frumoasa esti …
Esti asa de misto cum zic toti baietii?
Tu: Scuza-ma vorbeai cu mine? EA: Nu. Tu: Atunci incepe acum.
S-ar putea sa pleci in curad pentru ca celelate fete sunt invidioase pe frumusetea ta.
Vocile mi-au zis sa vin si sa vorbesc cu tine.
Tatal tau este terorist, pentru ca tu esti o bomba.
Doamne ce ma bucur ca nu sunt orb !
Unde ai umblat toata viata mea?
A… pe tine te stiu, nu ai fost finalista in “Miss Romania?”
Pot sa iti iau ceva de baut sau iti dau banii ?
Sunt nou pe aici, poti sa ma ajuti sa ajung in casa ta?
Cred ca am probleme cu ochii, nu-i pot dezlipi de tine.
Ai o harta? Ca m-am ratacit in ochii tai.
Vorbim sau continuam sa flirtam de la distanta?
Am atatea emotii in fata ta incat mi-am uitat replica de agatat.
Tu: Poti sa imi imprumuti si mie telefonul? Ea: De ce? Tu: Ca sa o sun pe mama si sa ii zic ca am intalnit fata ideala. (sau ca pt prima data m-am indragostit)
Ce face o fata urata ca tine intr-un loc asa de dragutz. OOPS! Ce face o fata asa de dragutza ca tine intr-un loc asa de urat?
Tu: Nu mai pot astepta pana maine. Ea: De ce? Tu: Pentru ca arati din ce in ce mai bine.
A iesit soarele sau doar ai zambit ?
Woaaawww! Astia sunt reali ?
Trebuie sa fi obosit, pentru ca ai umblat prin mintea mea toata ziua.
Cred ca sunt in Rai, pentru ca am vazut un inger !
Esti chirurg ? Ca mi-ai scos inima.
Ai un ceas?
Eu nu sunt asa de inalt, dar acum stau pe portofelul meu.
Salut! Eu fac mai multi bani decat poti tu sa cheltui.
Bond! James Bond!
Ai un pansament, m-am lovit la cap cand te-am vazut.
Asteapta sa se termine petrecerea, dupa ce se consuma mult alcool,te adresezi unei persoane pe care nu o stii “Haide ca mergem”.
Imi dai si mie o poza, ca sa stiu ce sa ii arat Mosului sa imi aduca de Craciun?
Am avut o zi proasta si intodeauna zambetul unei fete dragute ma inveseleste. Vrei sa imi zambesti?
Ce caine dragut, ce numar de telefon are?
Am invatat cumva la scoli diferite impreuna?
Scuza-ma… am observat ca nu m-ai observat!
Chemati politia. Este ilegal sa aratzi asa de bine.
O sa ma saruti, sau trebuie sa mint in jurnal?
Mi-ai furat inima, dar nu-i nimic, mai am alta in frigider, acasa.
Buna, pot sa iti cumpar o masina?
Fii unica si diferita, spune DA!
Arati asa de bine, incat era sa fac infarct.
Nu sunt beat, ci doar m-ai ametit tu.
Mazgalici ma cheama, dar poti sa imi spui “iubitule”.
Tu: Arati exact ca a doua sotie a mea. Ea: De cate ori ai fost casatorit? Tu: O data.
Te-am urmat pana acasa. O sa ma pastrezi ?
Misto fusta. Pot sa ti-o iau eu ?
Corpul tau e alcatuit 90% din apa si mie mi-e sete.
Trebuie sa sun in Rai si sa zic ca si-au pierdut un inger.
Esti sigura ca nu ne-am mai intalnit in vieti anterioare?
Sunt un hot si am sa iti fur inima!
Poti sa imi dai si mie indicatii catre inima ta?
Felicitari, ai fost alesa “Cea mai frumoasa fata din camera asta”, iar premiul este o intlanire cu mine.
Mai am 3 zile de trait…
Trebuie sa ma insor cu cineva, ca sa nu ma expulzeze.
Avem vreun prieten comun care sa ne faca lipeala?
Tu: Ce iti place sa mananci dimnineata? Ea: De ce? Tu: Ca sa stiu ce iti gatesc maine dimineata.
Vroiam sa arat acestor flori cat de frumoasa esti …
Esti asa de misto cum zic toti baietii?
Tu: Scuza-ma vorbeai cu mine? EA: Nu. Tu: Atunci incepe acum.
S-ar putea sa pleci in curad pentru ca celelate fete sunt invidioase pe frumusetea ta.
Vocile mi-au zis sa vin si sa vorbesc cu tine.
Tatal tau este terorist, pentru ca tu esti o bomba.
Doamne ce ma bucur ca nu sunt orb !
Unde ai umblat toata viata mea?
A… pe tine te stiu, nu ai fost finalista in “Miss Romania?”
Pot sa iti iau ceva de baut sau iti dau banii ?
Sunt nou pe aici, poti sa ma ajuti sa ajung in casa ta?
Cred ca am probleme cu ochii, nu-i pot dezlipi de tine.
Ai o harta? Ca m-am ratacit in ochii tai.
Vorbim sau continuam sa flirtam de la distanta?
Am atatea emotii in fata ta incat mi-am uitat replica de agatat.
Tu: Poti sa imi imprumuti si mie telefonul? Ea: De ce? Tu: Ca sa o sun pe mama si sa ii zic ca am intalnit fata ideala. (sau ca pt prima data m-am indragostit)
Ce face o fata urata ca tine intr-un loc asa de dragutz. OOPS! Ce face o fata asa de dragutza ca tine intr-un loc asa de urat?
Tu: Nu mai pot astepta pana maine. Ea: De ce? Tu: Pentru ca arati din ce in ce mai bine.
A iesit soarele sau doar ai zambit ?
Woaaawww! Astia sunt reali ?
Trebuie sa fi obosit, pentru ca ai umblat prin mintea mea toata ziua.
Cred ca sunt in Rai, pentru ca am vazut un inger !
Esti chirurg ? Ca mi-ai scos inima.
Ai un ceas?
Eu nu sunt asa de inalt, dar acum stau pe portofelul meu.
Salut! Eu fac mai multi bani decat poti tu sa cheltui.
Bond! James Bond!
Ai un pansament, m-am lovit la cap cand te-am vazut.
Asteapta sa se termine petrecerea, dupa ce se consuma mult alcool,te adresezi unei persoane pe care nu o stii “Haide ca mergem”.
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