Is that the sun coming up... or is that just you lighting up my world?
Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle.
Is your last name Gillete cause your the best a man can get.
Do you want to make millions? millions of babies!
Hi, have you got a boyfriend? (if no,) Are you taking applications?
My love for you is like the universe...neverending!!
Your senses must be messed up 'cuz your eyes are talkin' to me.
I tripped on a kiss and fell in love with you.
guy:what's on your face??
girl:what what get it off get it off
guy: o it's just your beautiful eyes
If someone was to write a story about my life, the climax would be when I met you!
guy: papa bear looked ok, mama bear looked a little better, but mmmm baby bear looks just right!
That outfit is horrible take it off right now!!!
Baby, you are everything I never knew I always wanted
If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard.
Hey, your name is sexy, right?
Is that top felt? [No] Would you like it to be?
Hey, how’s it going? Do you see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.
Are you Pentacostal? Cause I'd love to speak in tongues with you.
You’re a pot of gold in this enormous world and I’m just a little leprechaun.
Showing posts with label pick up lines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pick up lines. Show all posts
Pick up lines
(Walk over to her)"Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about it."
2
0
Chicks dig me. I wear colored underwear.
3
0
Come on, you can't get pregnant again.
2
0
Did you know that the word 'motel' spelled backwards means 'letom'?
3
0
Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
3
0
Do you think I could borrow that dress/bustier sometime?
2
0
Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and one of the things on my list is a umm....weird chick.
3
0
Free mammograms, get your free mammograms here, get 'em while they're hot!
2
0
Have you run into any trees lately? Then how bout a root!
0
0
Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me to pick you up and take you home. My, what a pretty dress.
0
0
HI! Can I buy you a car?
3
0
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
2
0
I found this [lace glove, rosary, etc.] on the floor at the club last night, is it yours? Well, if it's not, I'd like to give it to you anyway.
0
0
I saw you at the party last weekend and you look kind of interesting.. Let's meet sometime...
0
0
Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's
2
0
Want to see my stamp collection?
0
0
What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
0
0
You know, if we cut your arms off, you'd look just like Venus de Milo.
0
0
You have the ass of a great artist.
0
If I pet you, would you follow me home?
0
0
Greetings and salivations
15
10
Chicks dig me because I rarely wear any underwear, and when I do it is usually something eroticaly exotic...want to see?
0
0
I need to dump my load. Do you mind waiting for me on the bonnet of my car?
0
0
Pardon me, can I borrow your spatula?
0
0
I have big feet.
0
0
Not only can I palm an NBA basketball, I wear a 13 1/2 size shoe
0
0
I want you to have my children. In fact, you can have them right now, they're out in the car.
0
0
Most people would agree that society these days has lost a bit of it's civility. It's a shame. You have excellent posture.
0
0
I'm the one responsible for all those crop circles in England.
0
0
So, when was the last time somebody made you a 7-course gourmet meal?
0
0
I think I crapped my pants. Can I get into yours?
2
0
Chicks dig me. I wear colored underwear.
3
0
Come on, you can't get pregnant again.
2
0
Did you know that the word 'motel' spelled backwards means 'letom'?
3
0
Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
3
0
Do you think I could borrow that dress/bustier sometime?
2
0
Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and one of the things on my list is a umm....weird chick.
3
0
Free mammograms, get your free mammograms here, get 'em while they're hot!
2
0
Have you run into any trees lately? Then how bout a root!
0
0
Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me to pick you up and take you home. My, what a pretty dress.
0
0
HI! Can I buy you a car?
3
0
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
2
0
I found this [lace glove, rosary, etc.] on the floor at the club last night, is it yours? Well, if it's not, I'd like to give it to you anyway.
0
0
I saw you at the party last weekend and you look kind of interesting.. Let's meet sometime...
0
0
Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's
2
0
Want to see my stamp collection?
0
0
What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
0
0
You know, if we cut your arms off, you'd look just like Venus de Milo.
0
0
You have the ass of a great artist.
0
If I pet you, would you follow me home?
0
0
Greetings and salivations
15
10
Chicks dig me because I rarely wear any underwear, and when I do it is usually something eroticaly exotic...want to see?
0
0
I need to dump my load. Do you mind waiting for me on the bonnet of my car?
0
0
Pardon me, can I borrow your spatula?
0
0
I have big feet.
0
0
Not only can I palm an NBA basketball, I wear a 13 1/2 size shoe
0
0
I want you to have my children. In fact, you can have them right now, they're out in the car.
0
0
Most people would agree that society these days has lost a bit of it's civility. It's a shame. You have excellent posture.
0
0
I'm the one responsible for all those crop circles in England.
0
0
So, when was the last time somebody made you a 7-course gourmet meal?
0
0
I think I crapped my pants. Can I get into yours?
Labels:
pick up lines
Pick up lines
Just Plain Lame:
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
3
0
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
3
0
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
5
0
Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
4
0
Do you want to see something swell?
4
0
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
7
0
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
6
0
Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
2
0
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
4
0
I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
2
0
I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
2
0
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
5
0
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
1
0
My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.
2
0
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
2
0
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
6
0
Pardon me, are you in heat?!
2
0
Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
5
0
So, you're a girl huh?
6
1
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
1
0
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
2
0
Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats fiv e.
2
0
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
1
0
You make my software turn to hardware!
1
0
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
2
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well: "Hey, wanna hook up sometime?"
---
---
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
not enough
0
Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere?
---
---
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
---
---
Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
10
10
Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
---
---
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
---
---
Hi... would you fuck me? I'd fuck me, I'd fuck me real hard!!
---
---
Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
---
---
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
---
---
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
---
---
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
---
---
Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?"
---
---
They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
---
---
Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick?
---
---
Which one of the Spice girls are you?
54
2
Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
1
0
Weren't you at the tractor pull last night? I remember your tits.
---
---
Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
---
---
(Used while you and a male friend wear a bib. Walk up and stare at breasts) Mama!
---
0
This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.
Instead, they had to hear that.
0
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
---
0
Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size.
---
0
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in
---
0
Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes.
---
0
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
---
0
Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
---
0
I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!
---
0
Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularly nice weather."
---
0
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
---
0
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
---
0
Damn, have you been eating beans and rice lately?
---
0
I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
---
0
I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?
4
-3
Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand.
---
0
For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...
15
5
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
---
0
Don't worry about the missing teeth. It just means that there is more room for your tongue.
---
0
Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
---
0
I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
4
2!!!
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
Get it? Rushing and Roaming?
Haa haa
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
?
2
So you wanna get laid? Then crawl up a chicken's butt and wait.
---
0
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
---
0
Can you help me up? My dick is too big.
---
0
Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69.
---
0
Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show!
---
0
You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.
---
0
Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!
---
0
Good day for weather.
---
0
You know what you and corn have in common? (No) Absolutely nothing! (laugh hysterically at yourself.)
---
0
I wet my pants... can I get in yours?
---
0
Got two nipples for a dime?
---
0
Are you Natasha, my contact?
---
0
You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride the me.
---
0
You're so hot, your ass is on fire.
15
12 (I believe this guy)
If you were a dwarf, you'd probably say I got a big dick.
---
0
You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."
---
0
OK, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest little way of getting on and off.
---
0
Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?"
---
0
Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
---
0
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
---
0
Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, shit, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
---
0
If I stuck my cock in Ajax for an hour,would you suck it? NO!! Dirty cock sucker!
---
0
Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with you? (nudge with elbow)
---
0
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
---
0
You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!
---
0
Excuse me. Do you put on a foundation before you put on a powder? (Yeah.) Can I have your phone number?
---
0
I think you and I should dipthong.
---
0
I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit.
---
0
Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement...
---
0
Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can figure out how to send that money, and walk away.
---
0
Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.
---
0
Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.
---
0
Can I try a few pick up lines on you? [give some good ones and some lame ones] OK, I have just one more line for you: Can I try a few pick up lines on you?
1
1
(Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "threesome" written on your forehead?
---
0
My name is Justin. Justincredible.
---
0
Hey, there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex? (I don't know) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
---
0
Excuse me, but would you like to hold the priesthood?
---
0
If you were my sister/brother, incest would be cool.
---
0
Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress!
---
0
I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle.
---
0
You look like my World of Warcraft character. Want to go back to my place and do some PvP (player vs. player)?
---
0
You do to my mind what White Castle does to my bowels; just runnin' all day.
---
0
I can tell by the way you're ignoring me that you want me...
---
0
The doctor said I broke the record for the world's most powerful penis. Do you want to see me work my magic?
---
0
(Put your hands down your pants, then smell them) Ah, smells like success. Want to smell?
---
0
If my pillow had a hole in it, I would name it after you.
---
0
Would you fuck me if I was going to die soon? Well, I've got a bomb in my pants.
---
0
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
---
0
If I told you I was gay, would you let me touch you?
---
0
Let's get drunk and take advantage of each other. Or, I could get drunk and you could just take advantage of me. OR, you can stay here and get drunk and I can go home and take advantage of myself. Either way, it's up to you.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
3
0
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
3
0
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
5
0
Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
4
0
Do you want to see something swell?
4
0
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
7
0
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
6
0
Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
2
0
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
4
0
I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
2
0
I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
2
0
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
5
0
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
1
0
My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.
2
0
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
2
0
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
6
0
Pardon me, are you in heat?!
2
0
Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
5
0
So, you're a girl huh?
6
1
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
1
0
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
2
0
Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats fiv e.
2
0
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
1
0
You make my software turn to hardware!
1
0
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
2
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well: "Hey, wanna hook up sometime?"
---
---
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
not enough
0
Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere?
---
---
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
---
---
Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
10
10
Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
---
---
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
---
---
Hi... would you fuck me? I'd fuck me, I'd fuck me real hard!!
---
---
Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
---
---
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
---
---
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
---
---
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
---
---
Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?"
---
---
They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
---
---
Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick?
---
---
Which one of the Spice girls are you?
54
2
Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
1
0
Weren't you at the tractor pull last night? I remember your tits.
---
---
Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
---
---
(Used while you and a male friend wear a bib. Walk up and stare at breasts) Mama!
---
0
This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.
Instead, they had to hear that.
0
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
---
0
Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size.
---
0
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in
---
0
Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes.
---
0
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
---
0
Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
---
0
I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!
---
0
Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularly nice weather."
---
0
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
---
0
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
---
0
Damn, have you been eating beans and rice lately?
---
0
I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
---
0
I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?
4
-3
Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand.
---
0
For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...
15
5
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
---
0
Don't worry about the missing teeth. It just means that there is more room for your tongue.
---
0
Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
---
0
I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
4
2!!!
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
Get it? Rushing and Roaming?
Haa haa
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
?
2
So you wanna get laid? Then crawl up a chicken's butt and wait.
---
0
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
---
0
Can you help me up? My dick is too big.
---
0
Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69.
---
0
Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show!
---
0
You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.
---
0
Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!
---
0
Good day for weather.
---
0
You know what you and corn have in common? (No) Absolutely nothing! (laugh hysterically at yourself.)
---
0
I wet my pants... can I get in yours?
---
0
Got two nipples for a dime?
---
0
Are you Natasha, my contact?
---
0
You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride the me.
---
0
You're so hot, your ass is on fire.
15
12 (I believe this guy)
If you were a dwarf, you'd probably say I got a big dick.
---
0
You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."
---
0
OK, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest little way of getting on and off.
---
0
Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?"
---
0
Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
---
0
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
---
0
Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, shit, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
---
0
If I stuck my cock in Ajax for an hour,would you suck it? NO!! Dirty cock sucker!
---
0
Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with you? (nudge with elbow)
---
0
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
---
0
You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!
---
0
Excuse me. Do you put on a foundation before you put on a powder? (Yeah.) Can I have your phone number?
---
0
I think you and I should dipthong.
---
0
I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit.
---
0
Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement...
---
0
Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can figure out how to send that money, and walk away.
---
0
Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.
---
0
Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.
---
0
Can I try a few pick up lines on you? [give some good ones and some lame ones] OK, I have just one more line for you: Can I try a few pick up lines on you?
1
1
(Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "threesome" written on your forehead?
---
0
My name is Justin. Justincredible.
---
0
Hey, there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex? (I don't know) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
---
0
Excuse me, but would you like to hold the priesthood?
---
0
If you were my sister/brother, incest would be cool.
---
0
Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress!
---
0
I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle.
---
0
You look like my World of Warcraft character. Want to go back to my place and do some PvP (player vs. player)?
---
0
You do to my mind what White Castle does to my bowels; just runnin' all day.
---
0
I can tell by the way you're ignoring me that you want me...
---
0
The doctor said I broke the record for the world's most powerful penis. Do you want to see me work my magic?
---
0
(Put your hands down your pants, then smell them) Ah, smells like success. Want to smell?
---
0
If my pillow had a hole in it, I would name it after you.
---
0
Would you fuck me if I was going to die soon? Well, I've got a bomb in my pants.
---
0
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
---
0
If I told you I was gay, would you let me touch you?
---
0
Let's get drunk and take advantage of each other. Or, I could get drunk and you could just take advantage of me. OR, you can stay here and get drunk and I can go home and take advantage of myself. Either way, it's up to you.
Labels:
pick up lines
Pick up Lines
Pick up Lines
What?: What do these mean?
(leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.
0
0
Are we related? Do you want to be?
0
0
Can you say Constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.
0
0
Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee. (laugh profusely)
0
0
Do you know how to use a whip?
0
0
Drop 'em!
0
0
Excuse me, do you live around here often?
0
0
Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
0
0
Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
0
0
Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?
0
0
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
0
0
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
0
0
I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...
0
0
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
0
0
I'm drunk.
0
0
I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
0
0
I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
0
0
If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.
0
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
0
0
Like the look of your crotch.
0
0
Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
0
0
Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.
0
0
Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
0
0
Say, did we go to different schools together?
0
0
That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh.
0
0
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??
0
0
Why you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across!
0
0
Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
0
0
Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
0
0
Would you like to see me naked ??
0
0
Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself?
0
0
You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?
0
0
You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
0
0
You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
0
0
You know what I like about you? My arms.
0
0
You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.
0
0
You know, my mother says you have the smoothest complexion of anyone she knows.
0
0
You look just like my mother.
0
0
You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
0
0
You remind me of a girl I used to date.
0
0
You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.
0
0
You're 'No Parking' right? Just trying to guess your sign.
0
0
Your name is Laura, huh? Can I call you Laura? Really, what time?
0
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Are my undies showing? Answer: "No." You: "Would you like them to?
1
0
I'd walk a million miles over broken glass just to meet the guy that fucked you last.
---
0
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
---
0
Excuse me , she says "Uh huh", do you have any Grey Poupon? no? well we can still get the sandwich action going on baby....
---
0
hey baby, can i feel your Ginsana? (No.) Wanna feel mine?
0
0
Do you like clocks? (Yes.) Put two hands and a face on this. (Point down)
---
0
Do you like chocolate? (Yes.) You can have my bar.
---
0
Beer is the root of all evil. Give me a beer. I'm a WICKED root!
---
0
Hey baby... you got any diseases? Want some?
---
0
I'm an iceberg on a summer's day in South Carolina.
---
0
Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!!!
---
0
Pardon me, do you mind if I push in your stool?
---
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would flip the M and W (double you).
1
1
If belly buttons were a status symbol, then baby you would be God.
---
0
Have you ever seen a tree branch? [Girl] Yes. [Guy] How about a root?
---
0
I have four words for you "Hol I Day Inn".
1
1
I am not a queen but I'll give you something royal.
0
0
Is your name Brandy? Because your the best liqueur I have ever had.
---
0
Does an elephant taking a shit make you want to fuck everything around you?
---
0
Do you want a worm-do? (Whats a worm do?) It does this..(Move your finger like a worm~~~~~~)
---
0
I'd call this puppy love but I'm not into all those new positions.
---
0
Wow, your eyebrows are thick.
---
0
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
---
0
I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
---
0
Are you an Emerson? Because those are some nice tits!
---
0
You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I can't stop ya.
5
3
Your hair is so soft. Do you use Paul Mitchell products?
---
0
You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
---
0
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
---
0
(if your name is Dan) Did you know my name backwards is "Nad"?
---
0
Hey baby, I think you made my two by four into a four by eight.
---
0
I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
---
0
Have you ever heard of the naked pretzel? Ok, sit on my magical lap and we'll see what rises!
---
0
Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
---
0
Buy me a beer, will ya hon?
---
0
You look like my mommy. I like my mommy.
---
0
What the hell are you looking at?
---
0
(go up to a table and whip it out) Charlie!! Anyone you recognize?
---
0
Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Kablaam"?
---
0
Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
---
0
Someone vacuum my lap, I think you need a clean place to sit.
---
0
Excuse me, but do you have the temperature?
---
0
I want you to have my children (pause) GREAT! They are in the car outside..
---
0
If I was hungry for crabs would you spread your legs for me?
---
0
Do you have a license for that wagon you're draggin'?
---
0
Were you staring at my crotch?
---
0
Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.
---
0
Can I impregnate you with my Demon spawn?
---
0
You can stand next to me as long as you don't talk about the heat.
---
0
Hey, you've got a lawyer's ass. Yip, it's firm.
---
0
So, are you a Skinner or a fucker?
---
0
Like Motel 6, I'll leave the light on for you.
---
0
Can I ASS you a question?
---
0
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
---
0
Bitch, you without me is like Harry Melvin without Bluenotes: You'll never go platinum.
Did that make sense?
Nope.
o you like to drink through straws?
---
0
Hi, my name is Peter. Wanna find out why?
---
0
Ever seen the movie "Fear"?
---
0
What color is your shit?
---
0
If you were the alphabet, I'd place you under "O"!
---
0
I cannot believe what a complete slut you are.
---
0
If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? (No.) Well, I don't, so let's go.
---
0
Are you an oscillating fan? 'Cause your phone is ringing.
---
0
Hey Bitches!!! Free Cociane!!
---
0
How do you know that I'm not loving you now?
---
0
Do you know that the Edmonton Oilers haven't won the Stanley Cup for a while now.
---
0
Will you be my christmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.
---
0
Your eyes remind me of diamonds, because diamonds are expensive, and so are eye replacements, and baby- you need eye replacements.
---
0
Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
---
0
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
---
Actually, not that bad...
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
---
0
Would you like to shake hands with beef?
---
0
I'm not a chef or a dancer, but I can pop cherries
A dancer?
0
I treat a bitch like seven up, I never have, I never will.
---
0
Excuse me, but why is your moose drinking my cheese?
---
0
How do you make a chicken run? Hold on, and I'll have my little brother show you.
---
0
You'd make a bishop kick out a stained-glass window.
---
0
Do you come here often or wait till you get home?
---
0
Have you ever wondered what a vaginal blood fart smelt like?(No) Cool....me neither.
---
0
Are you cold? (Yes) You want a jacket? (Sure) Well, not here, you can jack it when you get back to my room.
---
0
In Venezuela only real men have big mustaches.
Works if you've got a mustache, or not!
0
Baby I've got one- help me make it two!
---
0
Here, you take my lollypop and I'll improvise...
---
0
Hi my name is _____! Can I pee in your butt?
Be sure to use a fake name.
0
Hey sexy. I like shoelaces, bow-ties, and motorized wheelchairs. Wanna go back to my place and use all three?
---
0
If you were yogurt, would you be fruit at the bottom or stirred?
---
0
If you were the Virgin Mary, could I bless you?
---
0
Excuse me, but I think I left your sunglasses in your pocket. Mind if I check?
---
0
What's wrong with the chics in here? They just don't like gorgeous guys anymore...
---
0
If I look the way you look when you walk, I'd walk everywhere I went.
WHAT!?!
0
One day there was a bird. This was a magical bird that sang all day. It had many jolly frolicking happy prancing friends that sang songs of joy and happiness. Whenever they flew by the flowers they became happy too. Then everything died. Now doesn't that just turn you on?
---
0
If you have oral-sex with your own clone,would that be called masturbation?
2
2
So....I heard you wanted to fight me.
---
0
Are those shoes, cause that is a cool calender!
---
0
I just shit in my pants. Can I get into yours?
---
0
People say that masturbating will make you go blind, if that were true, not only would i be blind, but my seeing eyedog would have vision problems.
---
0
Hi, I was just wondering? Do you wipe front-to-back or back-to-front?
---
0
Oak tree leaves are green in the fall and your pants are red in the hall.
---
0
Are you gay? Cause if you are, I just got castrated!
---
0
Can I get you a cold banana?
---
0
Ya know, if Ivanna Trump married Neil Diamond, she'd be Ivanna Diamond. And if Ivanna Trump married Chris Rock, she'd be Ivanna Rock. If Ivanna Trump Married Tom Cruise, she'd be Ivanna Cruise.
---
0
I once knew a squirrel named Marvin. God your hot. Marvin is in Africa now.
---
0
Excuse me, are you well protected?
---
0
Hey baby, everything I'm going to do to you tonight I learned at SeaWorld.
---
0
You can't be first, but you could be next.
---
0
What's the difference between the stay puff marshmallow man and a stay-puff marshmallow? The marshmallow will fit in your vagina.
---
0
I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.
---
0
Tuesday is coming! Did you bring your coat?
---
0
Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!
101
31
So, do you like turtles?
---
0
Driving and my penis...they are both hard for you.
Huh!?!
0
You, Me, and a midget makes three.
---
0
You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can't.
---
0
Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
---
0
I've got a big nose, big hands, and really big feet. That's right, I'm a clown.
---
0
Wanna see a trick I learned in prison?
---
0
You know, its girls like you that make me wish I were a lesbian.
---
0
I wana spank you with a sack of kidney beans while you cover yourself in whip cream and let a horny duck named jeff lick it off you.
---
0
I didn't know that Miss America used to live right here.
---
0
You can touch mine if I can touch yours with mine.
---
0
I%u2019d say oral sex with your clone is masturbation. Wouldn%u2019t you? Either way, if I were you, I%u2019d fuck myself. You know, I hear we are what we eat. Want to masturbate?
---
0
I don't know if you know this, but I have a driver's license.
---
0
Given that true intellectual and emotional compatibility are at the very least difficult, if not impossible, we could always opt for the more temporal gratification of physical attraction. That wouldn't make you a shallow, would it?
---
0
You see my friend over there? Good. I thought the drugs were starting to make me hallucinate.
---
0
I make more money than you can spend.
---
0
Is this your house key? Could I have one?
---
0
If you were suddenly transported to the sun because of an evil scheme devised by an evil Russian chicken and asked to take off your clothes and make love to the burning flames and then recite the presidents in alphabetical order by their middle name while juggling 11 midgets holding soda cans between your two front teeth that will be operated on by 86 evil Czechoslovakian dentists named Farkus who got their degrees studying the taste buds of Tom Selleck at a college named after some guy who wasted away his life by eating pork grinds naked in his mom's basement while searching for pictures of Kirsten Dunst to use for purposes that cannot be explained by the 1972 Junior High class of some school that no one cares about in Eastern Idaho where woodland creatures choose to spend their lives trying to recreate some bad 1940's soap opera instead of frolicking happily in the woods, would you prefer chocolate ice cream or vanilla?
---
0
What color is your toothbrush?
---
0
I what to become a STUD. You know, you can't spell stud without STD and U.
---
0
You owe me a drink! (Why?) Why not?
---
0
You know how they say guys are full of shit, well that may be true, but I just got my colon cleaned today.
---
0
I'm hung like a tic tac. Freshen your breath?
---
0
Yesterday I wanted to take I shower. I pulled back the curtain and there was a rhinoceros and a giraffe in the tub. They were eating cheese and they said "Hi."
---
0
I have this vacuum but it seems to be be broken. Can you blow in it and see if it spits everything out?
---
0
Your boyfriend/girlfriend tells me your great in bed.
What?: What do these mean?
(leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.
0
0
Are we related? Do you want to be?
0
0
Can you say Constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.
0
0
Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee. (laugh profusely)
0
0
Do you know how to use a whip?
0
0
Drop 'em!
0
0
Excuse me, do you live around here often?
0
0
Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
0
0
Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
0
0
Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?
0
0
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
0
0
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
0
0
I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...
0
0
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
0
0
I'm drunk.
0
0
I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
0
0
I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
0
0
If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.
0
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
0
0
Like the look of your crotch.
0
0
Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
0
0
Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.
0
0
Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
0
0
Say, did we go to different schools together?
0
0
That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh.
0
0
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??
0
0
Why you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across!
0
0
Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
0
0
Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
0
0
Would you like to see me naked ??
0
0
Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself?
0
0
You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?
0
0
You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
0
0
You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
0
0
You know what I like about you? My arms.
0
0
You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.
0
0
You know, my mother says you have the smoothest complexion of anyone she knows.
0
0
You look just like my mother.
0
0
You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
0
0
You remind me of a girl I used to date.
0
0
You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.
0
0
You're 'No Parking' right? Just trying to guess your sign.
0
0
Your name is Laura, huh? Can I call you Laura? Really, what time?
0
0
Submitted Line Attempts Successes
Are my undies showing? Answer: "No." You: "Would you like them to?
1
0
I'd walk a million miles over broken glass just to meet the guy that fucked you last.
---
0
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
---
0
Excuse me , she says "Uh huh", do you have any Grey Poupon? no? well we can still get the sandwich action going on baby....
---
0
hey baby, can i feel your Ginsana? (No.) Wanna feel mine?
0
0
Do you like clocks? (Yes.) Put two hands and a face on this. (Point down)
---
0
Do you like chocolate? (Yes.) You can have my bar.
---
0
Beer is the root of all evil. Give me a beer. I'm a WICKED root!
---
0
Hey baby... you got any diseases? Want some?
---
0
I'm an iceberg on a summer's day in South Carolina.
---
0
Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!!!
---
0
Pardon me, do you mind if I push in your stool?
---
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would flip the M and W (double you).
1
1
If belly buttons were a status symbol, then baby you would be God.
---
0
Have you ever seen a tree branch? [Girl] Yes. [Guy] How about a root?
---
0
I have four words for you "Hol I Day Inn".
1
1
I am not a queen but I'll give you something royal.
0
0
Is your name Brandy? Because your the best liqueur I have ever had.
---
0
Does an elephant taking a shit make you want to fuck everything around you?
---
0
Do you want a worm-do? (Whats a worm do?) It does this..(Move your finger like a worm~~~~~~)
---
0
I'd call this puppy love but I'm not into all those new positions.
---
0
Wow, your eyebrows are thick.
---
0
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
---
0
I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
---
0
Are you an Emerson? Because those are some nice tits!
---
0
You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I can't stop ya.
5
3
Your hair is so soft. Do you use Paul Mitchell products?
---
0
You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
---
0
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
---
0
(if your name is Dan) Did you know my name backwards is "Nad"?
---
0
Hey baby, I think you made my two by four into a four by eight.
---
0
I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
---
0
Have you ever heard of the naked pretzel? Ok, sit on my magical lap and we'll see what rises!
---
0
Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
---
0
Buy me a beer, will ya hon?
---
0
You look like my mommy. I like my mommy.
---
0
What the hell are you looking at?
---
0
(go up to a table and whip it out) Charlie!! Anyone you recognize?
---
0
Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Kablaam"?
---
0
Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
---
0
Someone vacuum my lap, I think you need a clean place to sit.
---
0
Excuse me, but do you have the temperature?
---
0
I want you to have my children (pause) GREAT! They are in the car outside..
---
0
If I was hungry for crabs would you spread your legs for me?
---
0
Do you have a license for that wagon you're draggin'?
---
0
Were you staring at my crotch?
---
0
Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.
---
0
Can I impregnate you with my Demon spawn?
---
0
You can stand next to me as long as you don't talk about the heat.
---
0
Hey, you've got a lawyer's ass. Yip, it's firm.
---
0
So, are you a Skinner or a fucker?
---
0
Like Motel 6, I'll leave the light on for you.
---
0
Can I ASS you a question?
---
0
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
---
0
Bitch, you without me is like Harry Melvin without Bluenotes: You'll never go platinum.
Did that make sense?
Nope.
o you like to drink through straws?
---
0
Hi, my name is Peter. Wanna find out why?
---
0
Ever seen the movie "Fear"?
---
0
What color is your shit?
---
0
If you were the alphabet, I'd place you under "O"!
---
0
I cannot believe what a complete slut you are.
---
0
If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? (No.) Well, I don't, so let's go.
---
0
Are you an oscillating fan? 'Cause your phone is ringing.
---
0
Hey Bitches!!! Free Cociane!!
---
0
How do you know that I'm not loving you now?
---
0
Do you know that the Edmonton Oilers haven't won the Stanley Cup for a while now.
---
0
Will you be my christmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.
---
0
Your eyes remind me of diamonds, because diamonds are expensive, and so are eye replacements, and baby- you need eye replacements.
---
0
Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
---
0
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
---
Actually, not that bad...
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
---
0
Would you like to shake hands with beef?
---
0
I'm not a chef or a dancer, but I can pop cherries
A dancer?
0
I treat a bitch like seven up, I never have, I never will.
---
0
Excuse me, but why is your moose drinking my cheese?
---
0
How do you make a chicken run? Hold on, and I'll have my little brother show you.
---
0
You'd make a bishop kick out a stained-glass window.
---
0
Do you come here often or wait till you get home?
---
0
Have you ever wondered what a vaginal blood fart smelt like?(No) Cool....me neither.
---
0
Are you cold? (Yes) You want a jacket? (Sure) Well, not here, you can jack it when you get back to my room.
---
0
In Venezuela only real men have big mustaches.
Works if you've got a mustache, or not!
0
Baby I've got one- help me make it two!
---
0
Here, you take my lollypop and I'll improvise...
---
0
Hi my name is _____! Can I pee in your butt?
Be sure to use a fake name.
0
Hey sexy. I like shoelaces, bow-ties, and motorized wheelchairs. Wanna go back to my place and use all three?
---
0
If you were yogurt, would you be fruit at the bottom or stirred?
---
0
If you were the Virgin Mary, could I bless you?
---
0
Excuse me, but I think I left your sunglasses in your pocket. Mind if I check?
---
0
What's wrong with the chics in here? They just don't like gorgeous guys anymore...
---
0
If I look the way you look when you walk, I'd walk everywhere I went.
WHAT!?!
0
One day there was a bird. This was a magical bird that sang all day. It had many jolly frolicking happy prancing friends that sang songs of joy and happiness. Whenever they flew by the flowers they became happy too. Then everything died. Now doesn't that just turn you on?
---
0
If you have oral-sex with your own clone,would that be called masturbation?
2
2
So....I heard you wanted to fight me.
---
0
Are those shoes, cause that is a cool calender!
---
0
I just shit in my pants. Can I get into yours?
---
0
People say that masturbating will make you go blind, if that were true, not only would i be blind, but my seeing eyedog would have vision problems.
---
0
Hi, I was just wondering? Do you wipe front-to-back or back-to-front?
---
0
Oak tree leaves are green in the fall and your pants are red in the hall.
---
0
Are you gay? Cause if you are, I just got castrated!
---
0
Can I get you a cold banana?
---
0
Ya know, if Ivanna Trump married Neil Diamond, she'd be Ivanna Diamond. And if Ivanna Trump married Chris Rock, she'd be Ivanna Rock. If Ivanna Trump Married Tom Cruise, she'd be Ivanna Cruise.
---
0
I once knew a squirrel named Marvin. God your hot. Marvin is in Africa now.
---
0
Excuse me, are you well protected?
---
0
Hey baby, everything I'm going to do to you tonight I learned at SeaWorld.
---
0
You can't be first, but you could be next.
---
0
What's the difference between the stay puff marshmallow man and a stay-puff marshmallow? The marshmallow will fit in your vagina.
---
0
I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.
---
0
Tuesday is coming! Did you bring your coat?
---
0
Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!
101
31
So, do you like turtles?
---
0
Driving and my penis...they are both hard for you.
Huh!?!
0
You, Me, and a midget makes three.
---
0
You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can't.
---
0
Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
---
0
I've got a big nose, big hands, and really big feet. That's right, I'm a clown.
---
0
Wanna see a trick I learned in prison?
---
0
You know, its girls like you that make me wish I were a lesbian.
---
0
I wana spank you with a sack of kidney beans while you cover yourself in whip cream and let a horny duck named jeff lick it off you.
---
0
I didn't know that Miss America used to live right here.
---
0
You can touch mine if I can touch yours with mine.
---
0
I%u2019d say oral sex with your clone is masturbation. Wouldn%u2019t you? Either way, if I were you, I%u2019d fuck myself. You know, I hear we are what we eat. Want to masturbate?
---
0
I don't know if you know this, but I have a driver's license.
---
0
Given that true intellectual and emotional compatibility are at the very least difficult, if not impossible, we could always opt for the more temporal gratification of physical attraction. That wouldn't make you a shallow, would it?
---
0
You see my friend over there? Good. I thought the drugs were starting to make me hallucinate.
---
0
I make more money than you can spend.
---
0
Is this your house key? Could I have one?
---
0
If you were suddenly transported to the sun because of an evil scheme devised by an evil Russian chicken and asked to take off your clothes and make love to the burning flames and then recite the presidents in alphabetical order by their middle name while juggling 11 midgets holding soda cans between your two front teeth that will be operated on by 86 evil Czechoslovakian dentists named Farkus who got their degrees studying the taste buds of Tom Selleck at a college named after some guy who wasted away his life by eating pork grinds naked in his mom's basement while searching for pictures of Kirsten Dunst to use for purposes that cannot be explained by the 1972 Junior High class of some school that no one cares about in Eastern Idaho where woodland creatures choose to spend their lives trying to recreate some bad 1940's soap opera instead of frolicking happily in the woods, would you prefer chocolate ice cream or vanilla?
---
0
What color is your toothbrush?
---
0
I what to become a STUD. You know, you can't spell stud without STD and U.
---
0
You owe me a drink! (Why?) Why not?
---
0
You know how they say guys are full of shit, well that may be true, but I just got my colon cleaned today.
---
0
I'm hung like a tic tac. Freshen your breath?
---
0
Yesterday I wanted to take I shower. I pulled back the curtain and there was a rhinoceros and a giraffe in the tub. They were eating cheese and they said "Hi."
---
0
I have this vacuum but it seems to be be broken. Can you blow in it and see if it spits everything out?
---
0
Your boyfriend/girlfriend tells me your great in bed.
Labels:
pick up lines
Pick up Lines
(With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
3
0
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
23
4
Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
7
0
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
0
0
Are you O.K.? Because heaven is a long fall from here.
2
0
(As s/he is leaving) Hey aren't you forgetting something? S/he: What? Me!
3
0
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
3
0
Bond. James Bond.
41
40 (Lost. Get Lost.)
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
0
0
Did it hurt? S/he: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?
3
1
Do you come here often?
0
0
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
7
1
Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we're together.
0
0
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
Once too many
0
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
1
0
Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
1
0
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
10
-10
How was heaven when you left it?
0
0
I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
20
5
I have only three months to live. ..
27
14
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
3
0
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
0
0
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
0
0
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? (No.) Well then, please start.
7
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
0
0
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
1
1
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
0
0
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
5
1
My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
0
0
So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the man/woman of my dreams!
2
0
Stand still so I can pick you up!
0
0
Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!
0
0
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
3
0
What was that sound? It was the sound of my heart breaking.
2
0
What's a nice boy/girl like you doing in a place like this?
0
0
What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle.
2
0
What's your favorite position on extramarital sex?
0
0
What's your sign?
3120
314
Where have you been all my life?
4
0
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
0
0
Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
6
0
Wow.
100
30(It's just so simple...)
You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.
7
0
You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
0
0
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.
0
0
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
3
0
[Grab the ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
0
0
Can I have directions? (To where?) To your heart.
6
0
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
4
1
[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"
30
30
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
---
---
Ask a person for the time. "10:30? So today is June 2, 2006, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."
1
0
"Pinch me." "Why?" "You're so fine I must be dreaming."
1
0
Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
---
God, I hope this number is "0".
Your daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!
---
0
Your daddy must be an archer because he sure shot a bulls eye!
0
0
Your daddy must play the trumpet, because he sure made me horny!
0
0
Ouch! My tooth hurts! (Why?) Because you are soooo sweet!
0
0
You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
0
0
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
0
0
Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
0
0
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
0
0
Hi. I would like to award you the {Whatever beer we were drinking} award for looking so good. Now if you will give me your name, number and other vital statistics, I would like to enter you in our grand prize drawing for an all-expenses paid date with me.
2
1
You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
0
0
Is your dad a terrorists? Because you are the bomb.
0
0
Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
0
0
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
0
0
Say, you remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You are cool because you're hot!
1
1
If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.
0
0
Baby, you are the finest thing in the world. I could put you on a place and sop you up with a biscuit.
0
0
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
0
0
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
0
0
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
0
0
Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
0
0
You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
0
0
It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? (Is it really your birthday?) No, but how about a kiss anyway?
5
5
What is the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?"
0
0
If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
0
0
(after the target walks in) And out of nowhere comes the sunshine!!
0
0
When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
0
0
I'm good at math. U I=69
0
0
If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
0
0
Hi. Your name must be (your car here) because my backseat has it written all over.
0
0
Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage?
0
0
I'm wearing Revlon colorstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off?
0
0
Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that its a really big river, and the bunny on this side (doesn't matter) really needs to get to the other side. Ask how he does it. Give cute little answers as to why the bunny can't cross the river (i.e., ...bunny jump in river, bunny goes *glubglubglub*.) When the person finally asks how the bunny is supposed to get across, give them the cute puppy eyes and say "I don't know, I just wanted to hold your hand."
0
0
Mars? This is the advanced recon unit. Good news, I've found a couple of foxes.
0
0
Damn! Somebody needs to write explosive on you, because you are the bomb!
0
0
Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
1
1
Do you remember Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color...Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes...Blizzard Blue.
0
0
Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?
0
0
Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?
0
0
Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
0
0
Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
0
0
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
0
0
I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
0
0
(stand next to the target) Hey do you think you could ask this person to give me his/her name and number? (Depends on who it is) Okay but keep it quiet because s/he is standing right next to me.
0
0
Hi, my name is Chris. I'm funny, financially stable, and have a very interesting DNA structure.
0
0
Can I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
0
0
(Open and close wallet quickly) Here's my "Fine Arts Connoisseur" diploma. You sure are a masterpiece.
0
0
Let's make like a fabric softener and Snuggle(TM)
0
0
(while looking at stars) I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.
1
1
If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]." How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful boy/girl named that?"
---
---
See this pin? I want to prick you with it to see if you truly do bleed sunshine.
1
1 (ouch!)
You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way
Only in the corporate world...
---
[Pretend to read your hand, do so quite poorly] What is a nice person like you doing in a place like this? (Huh?) [Lower left hand and raise right, read poorly] What's your sign?
---
---
Hi. My name is {name}. I'm running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here...write down your number and I'll call you to discuss my platform.
---
---
If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.
---
---
Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?
---
---
Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you, my dear, have left one great leap on mine!
---
---
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
---
---
Do you have a BandAid? I just scrapped my knee falling for you.
---
---
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
---
---
What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too!
---
---
Giant polar bear (What?) It broke the ice.
---
---
(Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
---
---
Excuse me, does this tequila taste funny? (Hand them an untouched shot)
2
2
So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) Because I'm gonna ask you out.
---
---
Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? (NO!) Damn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
---
---
(Talk to her)Did i ever tell you you are my hero? You're everything I wish I could be? (Start Singing) I can fly higher than an eagle! (talking) Because (the person's name) you are the wind beneith my wings.
3
1
(close hand with nothing inside and give it to the target) It's my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this)
---
---
Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
---
---
Speak of the devil....or should I say "Angel"?
---
---
When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
---
---
I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!
---
---
I believe that it was Socrates who opined, "Know thyself." Whelp, I already know myself, how about I get to know you?
---
---
I put a drop of tear in the ocean last night for you. And I won't stop loving you until you find that tear drop.
6
Still lookin'
Hey, where did your smile go? (Check back pocket) Here it is!
---
---
(Get as close as you can to the other, then stare at his/her lips) Can you feel it? There is some kinda sexual attraction. Can you feel it, too?
10
7
Hey baby. You got a jersey? (A jersey?...What for?) Because I need your name and number
---
---
Hi, I'm astronomer and I've been sent by the department to examine a heavenly body named XGY8... 6... 9'er... Er, wait. That heavenly body is you!
---
---
You be the biscuits and I'll be the gravy, let us do breakfast sometime.
7
4
When you walk into a room, who looks at you first, guys or girls? (Answer) After seeing pictures of you, I would have thought more guys (girls) would want to talk to you.
---
---
My lips are skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?
---
---
Please do not be alarmed if a big man wearing a red suit picks you up and throws you into a bag. (Why?) Because I asked for you for Christmas.
---
---
You must be a magnet, because it looks like you are attracted to my buns of steel.
---
---
Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?
---
---
(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
---
---
I was looking at a light bulb today and it made me think of you and how you light up my world.
---
---
You know, we have actually met before. Remember the dream you had of the perfect guy? I was the guy standing to his right.
---
---
Is your name David? I want to be Goliath and fall for you.
---
---
This time next year let%u2019s be laughing together.
---
---
Clarinets are wood and trumpets are horny, but a trombone can do it in 7 positions.
---
---
Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my ass? A damn little kid with wings shot me.
3
0
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
23
4
Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
7
0
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
0
0
Are you O.K.? Because heaven is a long fall from here.
2
0
(As s/he is leaving) Hey aren't you forgetting something? S/he: What? Me!
3
0
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
3
0
Bond. James Bond.
41
40 (Lost. Get Lost.)
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
0
0
Did it hurt? S/he: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?
3
1
Do you come here often?
0
0
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
7
1
Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we're together.
0
0
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
Once too many
0
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
1
0
Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
1
0
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
10
-10
How was heaven when you left it?
0
0
I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
20
5
I have only three months to live. ..
27
14
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
3
0
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
0
0
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
0
0
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? (No.) Well then, please start.
7
0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
0
0
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
1
1
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
0
0
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
5
1
My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
0
0
So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the man/woman of my dreams!
2
0
Stand still so I can pick you up!
0
0
Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!
0
0
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
3
0
What was that sound? It was the sound of my heart breaking.
2
0
What's a nice boy/girl like you doing in a place like this?
0
0
What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle.
2
0
What's your favorite position on extramarital sex?
0
0
What's your sign?
3120
314
Where have you been all my life?
4
0
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
0
0
Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
6
0
Wow.
100
30(It's just so simple...)
You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.
7
0
You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
0
0
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.
0
0
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
3
0
[Grab the ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
0
0
Can I have directions? (To where?) To your heart.
6
0
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
4
1
[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"
30
30
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
---
---
Ask a person for the time. "10:30? So today is June 2, 2006, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."
1
0
"Pinch me." "Why?" "You're so fine I must be dreaming."
1
0
Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
---
God, I hope this number is "0".
Your daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!
---
0
Your daddy must be an archer because he sure shot a bulls eye!
0
0
Your daddy must play the trumpet, because he sure made me horny!
0
0
Ouch! My tooth hurts! (Why?) Because you are soooo sweet!
0
0
You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
0
0
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
0
0
Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
0
0
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
0
0
Hi. I would like to award you the {Whatever beer we were drinking} award for looking so good. Now if you will give me your name, number and other vital statistics, I would like to enter you in our grand prize drawing for an all-expenses paid date with me.
2
1
You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
0
0
Is your dad a terrorists? Because you are the bomb.
0
0
Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
0
0
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
0
0
Say, you remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You are cool because you're hot!
1
1
If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.
0
0
Baby, you are the finest thing in the world. I could put you on a place and sop you up with a biscuit.
0
0
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
0
0
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
0
0
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
0
0
Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
0
0
You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
0
0
It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? (Is it really your birthday?) No, but how about a kiss anyway?
5
5
What is the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?"
0
0
If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
0
0
(after the target walks in) And out of nowhere comes the sunshine!!
0
0
When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
0
0
I'm good at math. U I=69
0
0
If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
0
0
Hi. Your name must be (your car here) because my backseat has it written all over.
0
0
Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage?
0
0
I'm wearing Revlon colorstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off?
0
0
Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that its a really big river, and the bunny on this side (doesn't matter) really needs to get to the other side. Ask how he does it. Give cute little answers as to why the bunny can't cross the river (i.e., ...bunny jump in river, bunny goes *glubglubglub*.) When the person finally asks how the bunny is supposed to get across, give them the cute puppy eyes and say "I don't know, I just wanted to hold your hand."
0
0
Mars? This is the advanced recon unit. Good news, I've found a couple of foxes.
0
0
Damn! Somebody needs to write explosive on you, because you are the bomb!
0
0
Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
1
1
Do you remember Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color...Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes...Blizzard Blue.
0
0
Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?
0
0
Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?
0
0
Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
0
0
Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
0
0
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
0
0
I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
0
0
(stand next to the target) Hey do you think you could ask this person to give me his/her name and number? (Depends on who it is) Okay but keep it quiet because s/he is standing right next to me.
0
0
Hi, my name is Chris. I'm funny, financially stable, and have a very interesting DNA structure.
0
0
Can I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
0
0
(Open and close wallet quickly) Here's my "Fine Arts Connoisseur" diploma. You sure are a masterpiece.
0
0
Let's make like a fabric softener and Snuggle(TM)
0
0
(while looking at stars) I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.
1
1
If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]." How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful boy/girl named that?"
---
---
See this pin? I want to prick you with it to see if you truly do bleed sunshine.
1
1 (ouch!)
You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way
Only in the corporate world...
---
[Pretend to read your hand, do so quite poorly] What is a nice person like you doing in a place like this? (Huh?) [Lower left hand and raise right, read poorly] What's your sign?
---
---
Hi. My name is {name}. I'm running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here...write down your number and I'll call you to discuss my platform.
---
---
If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.
---
---
Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?
---
---
Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you, my dear, have left one great leap on mine!
---
---
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
---
---
Do you have a BandAid? I just scrapped my knee falling for you.
---
---
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
---
---
What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too!
---
---
Giant polar bear (What?) It broke the ice.
---
---
(Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
---
---
Excuse me, does this tequila taste funny? (Hand them an untouched shot)
2
2
So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) Because I'm gonna ask you out.
---
---
Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? (NO!) Damn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
---
---
(Talk to her)Did i ever tell you you are my hero? You're everything I wish I could be? (Start Singing) I can fly higher than an eagle! (talking) Because (the person's name) you are the wind beneith my wings.
3
1
(close hand with nothing inside and give it to the target) It's my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this)
---
---
Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
---
---
Speak of the devil....or should I say "Angel"?
---
---
When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
---
---
I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!
---
---
I believe that it was Socrates who opined, "Know thyself." Whelp, I already know myself, how about I get to know you?
---
---
I put a drop of tear in the ocean last night for you. And I won't stop loving you until you find that tear drop.
6
Still lookin'
Hey, where did your smile go? (Check back pocket) Here it is!
---
---
(Get as close as you can to the other, then stare at his/her lips) Can you feel it? There is some kinda sexual attraction. Can you feel it, too?
10
7
Hey baby. You got a jersey? (A jersey?...What for?) Because I need your name and number
---
---
Hi, I'm astronomer and I've been sent by the department to examine a heavenly body named XGY8... 6... 9'er... Er, wait. That heavenly body is you!
---
---
You be the biscuits and I'll be the gravy, let us do breakfast sometime.
7
4
When you walk into a room, who looks at you first, guys or girls? (Answer) After seeing pictures of you, I would have thought more guys (girls) would want to talk to you.
---
---
My lips are skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?
---
---
Please do not be alarmed if a big man wearing a red suit picks you up and throws you into a bag. (Why?) Because I asked for you for Christmas.
---
---
You must be a magnet, because it looks like you are attracted to my buns of steel.
---
---
Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?
---
---
(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
---
---
I was looking at a light bulb today and it made me think of you and how you light up my world.
---
---
You know, we have actually met before. Remember the dream you had of the perfect guy? I was the guy standing to his right.
---
---
Is your name David? I want to be Goliath and fall for you.
---
---
This time next year let%u2019s be laughing together.
---
---
Clarinets are wood and trumpets are horny, but a trombone can do it in 7 positions.
---
---
Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my ass? A damn little kid with wings shot me.
Labels:
pick up lines
New Pick up Lines
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
5
1
"Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
2
0
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
1
0
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
0
0
Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!
0
0
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
2
0
Can I flirt with you?
1
0
Can I please be your slave tonight?
0
0
Can I see your tan lines?
0
0
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
0
0
Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
0
0
Congratulations! You have just been voted "Most Beautiful Boy/Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
0
0
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I could see myself in your pants.
0
0
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
0
0
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
0
0
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
0
0
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
3
1
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
0
0
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
4
1
Do you spit or swallow?
6
3
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
0
0
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
4
1
Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
0
0
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
0
0
Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
1
0
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
1
0
God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
0
0
Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
9
0
Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
60
4
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
4
3
Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
0
0
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
0
0
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
0
0
Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
1
0
Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
4
1
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
4
3
Hi. Are you legal?
0
0
Hi. You'll do.
0
0
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
0
0
How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
0
0
Hand out phone card that says: "Smile if you want to sleep with me."
0
0
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
0
0
I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
6
0
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
0
0
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
4
0
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
0
0
I wonder what our children will look like.
0
0
I would kill or die to make love with you.
0
0
I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
10
0
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
1
0
I'd look good on you.
0
0
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
1
0
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
1
0
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
2
1
I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?
0
0
I've got a condom with your name on it.
3
0
I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?
0
0
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
0
0
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
6
0
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
Only used by the King
Only works for the King
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
7
0
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
0
0
Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
7
3
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
0
0
Lie down. I think I love you.
2
1
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
2
0
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
0
0
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
8
0
Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
0
0
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
0
0
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
0
0
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
0
0
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
10
0
That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
0
0
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
0
0
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
2
0
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
0
0
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
1
0
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
0
0
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
0
0
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
14
0
Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
0
0
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
0
0
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
0
0
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
7
0
What do you like for breakfast?
0
0
(Do you have a match?) How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
1
0
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
0
0
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
6
5
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
1
0
Will you marry me for just one night?
0
0
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
0
0
Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
0
0
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
10
0
Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
0
0
Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow night.
0
0
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
4
0
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
9
0
You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
9
0
You smell wet. Let's Party.
6
0
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
10
0
Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
6
0
5
1
"Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
2
0
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
1
0
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
0
0
Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!
0
0
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
2
0
Can I flirt with you?
1
0
Can I please be your slave tonight?
0
0
Can I see your tan lines?
0
0
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
0
0
Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
0
0
Congratulations! You have just been voted "Most Beautiful Boy/Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
0
0
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I could see myself in your pants.
0
0
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
0
0
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
0
0
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
0
0
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
3
1
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
0
0
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
4
1
Do you spit or swallow?
6
3
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
0
0
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
4
1
Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
0
0
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
0
0
Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
1
0
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
1
0
God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
0
0
Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
9
0
Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
60
4
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
4
3
Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
0
0
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
0
0
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
0
0
Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
1
0
Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
4
1
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
4
3
Hi. Are you legal?
0
0
Hi. You'll do.
0
0
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
0
0
How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
0
0
Hand out phone card that says: "Smile if you want to sleep with me."
0
0
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
0
0
I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
6
0
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
0
0
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
4
0
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
0
0
I wonder what our children will look like.
0
0
I would kill or die to make love with you.
0
0
I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
10
0
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
1
0
I'd look good on you.
0
0
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
1
0
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
1
0
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
2
1
I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?
0
0
I've got a condom with your name on it.
3
0
I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?
0
0
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
0
0
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
6
0
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
Only used by the King
Only works for the King
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
7
0
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
0
0
Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
7
3
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
0
0
Lie down. I think I love you.
2
1
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
2
0
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
0
0
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
8
0
Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
0
0
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
0
0
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
0
0
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
0
0
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
10
0
That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
0
0
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
0
0
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
2
0
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
0
0
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
1
0
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
0
0
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
0
0
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
14
0
Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
0
0
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
0
0
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
0
0
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
7
0
What do you like for breakfast?
0
0
(Do you have a match?) How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
1
0
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
0
0
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
6
5
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
1
0
Will you marry me for just one night?
0
0
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
0
0
Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
0
0
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
10
0
Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
0
0
Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow night.
0
0
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
4
0
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
9
0
You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
9
0
You smell wet. Let's Party.
6
0
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
10
0
Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
6
0
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